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[MBTI General] NFP-NTJ Dynamic

Fecal McAngry

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Hehe, tnx, and agreed with your comment :D

Everytime I visit the house of my INFP-INTJ couple friends, it's like watching some comedy :D

He does something he's not supposed to (like knock over a drink or forget to tell guests to take of their shoes), she gets all hissy-fissy, he does the whole puppy-look (which btw, he's mastered, I'm a frigging amateur compared to him!), and she sighs and somewhat fusses still while holding him and kissing him on the forehead. He eagerly takes advantage and steals some physical affection before going back to being happy as a clam. It's just...yeah. Gotto love it :D :popc1:

It helps that INTJ women are some of the few individuals I can find consistently, side-splittingly funny & ridiculous...

One INTJ I know quite reminds me of a female John Cleese. "Yes," she says "That's EXACTLY how I see myself!"
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
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Amar, thank you!

I find it interesting that out of the six months I've been here, there has been no mention of INFPs with NTJs. A real-life pairing would be referenced in the occasional post around the forum but it's been scarce. I wonder what's the deal.

Anyway, my INTJ friend turns to putty when I look at him a certain way, usually when I'm trying to guilt-trip him. It's pretty hilarious. I honestly hadn't realized I was doing it until he pointed out that I'm inclined to appear "innocent" when I'm talking about something I care about (I'm thinking he meant "idealistic"). I've learned to use that look to my advantage now :)newwink:). I do find it odd though that for someone so practical-minded one look can make him go gaga.



Oh, but the INFP innocent look is like the cutest thing ever.
Kinda crazy, but we sort of melt and go all :blush::wubbie::hug: by it.
 

SillySapienne

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Amar, thank you!

I find it interesting that out of the six months I've been here, there has been no mention of INFPs with NTJs. A real-life pairing would be referenced in the occasional post around the forum but it's been scarce. I wonder what's the deal.

Anyway, my INTJ friend turns to putty when I look at him a certain way, usually when I'm trying to guilt-trip him. It's pretty hilarious. I honestly hadn't realized I was doing it until he pointed out that I'm inclined to appear "innocent" when I'm talking about something I care about (I'm thinking he meant "idealistic"). I've learned to use that look to my advantage now :)newwink:). I do find it odd though that for someone so practical-minded one look can make him go gaga.
It's the Fi connection, really.

My INTJ is incredibly emotionally intelligent, and he reads my moods to a scary degree.

I've been so used to dealing with my ISTP ex who only had the capacity to read whether I was happy, incredibly sad, or angry.

Something about INTJs is that they are keen observers, and when they are close to you, they are then able to read you oh so very well.

That is why I think that this duo really has potential to lead to an incredibly intimate relationship.

On a side note, you and Amar seem to do something that I do not, or maybe something that I do, but I guess I do it differently.

When being playful, I will playfully act in all sorts of ways, be silly, be sensitive, be haughty, but I don't guilt-trip, because, I can't, because I don't think it is right.

However, when I am disappointed by something that he does, I do get sad, and though to some, this disappointment would be imperceptible, my INTJ certainly picks up on it.

Which is healthy!

He, even more than myself, at times, will call me out, and ask me how I am feeling, and he, definitely more than me, will sit me down stating how we need to talk in order for us to deal with some issue that, due to my fear of this kind of confrontation compounded with past incidences, I usually keep to myself, or brush under the rug. And, yeah, I know that's unhealthy on my part, but he has really opened my heart and eyes regarding this, how relationship conflicts can be resolved through discussion with compassion and understanding.

:wub:
 

neptunesnet

man-made
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sx
On a side note, you and Amar seem to do something that I do not, or maybe something that I do, but I guess I do it differently.

When being playful, I will playfully act in all sorts of ways, be silly, be sensitive, be haughty, but I don't guilt-trip, because, I can't, because I don't think it is right.

"Guilt-tripping" is code for "challenging him."

I mean, isn't that on like every guy's eHarmony? :D
 

branflakes

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I love my INTJ bros. Dunno why. They're so logical and can relate to shit I say with cynicism.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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I kinda...discovered all those 'tricks' that way, Neptune. And yeah, they occur naturally, you get an intense reaction to them and you're curious what the hell happened :D

After that, I find that I can indeed use them the way you described *checks for ENTPs and whispers* ...aka manipulate. However, usually what I do is just be aware that I feel a certain way, know that he responds to that, and naturally enhance the reaction. It's by no means disengenuine at that point. Just...a bit amplified for effect ;)

I do use it on other occasions as well, but he *knows* me. He knows that those are not occasions I'm supposed to be looking or feeling that way. Plus, in order to make fun of myself, I way overdo them, to let him in on the joke. Just seeing him grin coz he knows what I'm up to, is worth it :D :D :D

SS, I agree that misguiding someone is never a good thing. But it's kinda...a discovery of yourself that these guys make you do, they make you more aware of yourself by being that responsive. And over time as you grow as a couple, you develop just several scenarios becoz those happen to produce results that you both really enjoy, and learn to play with that connections and those scenarios. And you'll also find they start mimicing you (seriousl, an INTJ trying to pout is too adorable :D ), or like amp up their 'knight in shining armour' routine or play 'mercinary' instead, bartering for a huge reward if they deal with your problem for ya, or try to guilttrip you for once. It's all part of the fun. It keeps the playfullness in your relationship, and yeah, as Neptune said, it provides challenges, causing a pleasant tension between you two. That's something that's automatically there, especially in the beginning, but every couple at some point gets faced with being bogged down in daily life and getting stuck in a rut. These games kinda cause a pleasurable jolt and remind you to spend time together and why it is again that you feel so good together, why you make a great team....consider it maintenance :D
 

Amargith

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And this isn't codependence?

Nah, more like convenience :D

The man is gone every month for at least a week, or longer, so I kinda have to do things myself then, don't I? And so does he. :D

It's just nice to not always have to face the world alone. Aside from that, it makes you spend time together and appreciate one another, maintaining the bond that brought you together in the first place, in a fun way :)
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
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It's just nice to not always have to face the world alone. Aside from that, it makes you spend time together and appreciate one another, maintaining the bond that brought you together in the first place, in a fun way :)

I recognise the first sentiment.

The rest of it is complex and grows over the years, I guess.




(I have dust in my eye, dammit.)
 

Lacey

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My ex-roommate/still best friend is ENTJ. We're thousands of miles away from each other and I miss her lots... :boohoo:

INFP+ENTJ= ENTJ: I have the whole day planned out. Are you almost ready? INFP: We are going somewhere? Can't I just sit here and color instead?
:laugh:
 

SillySapienne

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My ESTJ sis and I, yeah, I know, wrong thread, but it should be noted!

Our dynamic?

For all intents and purposes, I'm her bitch.

She strong arms me to do all that she wants me to do, errr, not all.

Only when she acts evil, or particularly bossy, or inappropriate, she has buttons, very special buttons, buttons that will SHTFU, and :sorry: or :run:

So, I guess she doesn't have all the "power" in the relationship. ;)
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
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I kinda...discovered all those 'tricks' that way, Neptune. And yeah, they occur naturally, you get an intense reaction to them and you're curious what the hell happened :D

After that, I find that I can indeed use them the way you described *checks for ENTPs and whispers* ...aka manipulate. However, usually what I do is just be aware that I feel a certain way, know that he responds to that, and naturally enhance the reaction. It's by no means disengenuine at that point. Just...a bit amplified for effect ;)

I do use it on other occasions as well, but he *knows* me. He knows that those are not occasions I'm supposed to be looking or feeling that way. Plus, in order to make fun of myself, I way overdo them, to let him in on the joke. Just seeing him grin coz he knows what I'm up to, is worth it :D :D :D

SS, I agree that misguiding someone is never a good thing. But it's kinda...a discovery of yourself that these guys make you do, they make you more aware of yourself by being that responsive. And over time as you grow as a couple, you develop just several scenarios becoz those happen to produce results that you both really enjoy, and learn to play with that connections and those scenarios. And you'll also find they start mimicing you (seriousl, an INTJ trying to pout is too adorable :D ), or like amp up their 'knight in shining armour' routine or play 'mercinary' instead, bartering for a huge reward if they deal with your problem for ya, or try to guilttrip you for once. It's all part of the fun. It keeps the playfullness in your relationship, and yeah, as Neptune said, it provides challenges, causing a pleasant tension between you two. That's something that's automatically there, especially in the beginning, but every couple at some point gets faced with being bogged down in daily life and getting stuck in a rut. These games kinda cause a pleasurable jolt and remind you to spend time together and why it is again that you feel so good together, why you make a great team....consider it maintenance :D
Amar, I believe that every relationship, including romantic ones, contain/express/consist of some kind of dynamic.

Where each individual, while maintaining a sense of self, an authentic self at that, essentially, assumes a given role that happens to suit that relationship.

My relationship with my INTJ is pretty new, oh my, it's only been two months,!

:shocking:

I feel like he and I have been together forever, granted, we spend a looooooot of time together. :D

So basically, I am still unaware of our relationship dynamic, if that makes sense, however, if you wanted me to describe my relationship dynamic with my ISTP ex!?!?

Hahahahhahaha, I could give you a humorous and detailed description.

My question is, do you believe that in EVERY relationship each party plays/fills a certain role?

Or is it exclusive to romantic relationships, and perhaps even enhanced in NFP-NTJ one?


:)

And this isn't codependence?
The reason why you FRUSTRATE me soooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Is due to the fact that you consistently choose to keep your personal self and experiences void from this forum yet you certainly chime in to ask questions, and give, give, give, give advice.

You know what I want to ask you, and I would want to ask this to ANYBODY who responded the way you did..

:shock:

Ummm, haven't you ever been in a relationship before?

Certainly, in EVERY relationship there exists a little bit of codependence, hence you each continuing to want and, in essence, need to be there for each other.

There is definitely a delicate balance that ensues, one where you need to maintain a sense of separate self while also maintaining room enough for those you love, and their concerns to enter into your moral psyche.

You care about them, their well-being, their needs, their desires, etc.

Just as you care about your own.

Is a mother codependent on her child and vice versa?

Well, wouldn't it make sense that the person you're romantically with, and may potentially procreate with you also had these strong bonds of "codependence" with?
 

Amargith

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My question is, do you believe that in EVERY relationship each party plays/fills a certain role?

Or is it exclusive to romantic relationships, and perhaps even enhanced in NFP-NTJ one?

Ime, every emotionally intimate relationship kinda has those roles. I mean..we're usually attracted to each other for a reason, usually the bond forms because of certain needs or gravitations. That also means you kinda assume roles though they can be flexible and even interchange.

For me, as far as I've seen, I find that these bonds most easily are formed with fellow NFPs, sometimes INTPs and ISTPs, and definitely with NTJs. The more intense the bond, the more clearly the role division, I think...*ponders*
 

Phenix

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Apr 28, 2009
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Just to add a little balance to this NFP-NTJ love in. My INTJ blows my head off every time I open my mouth. It's death in life like the Ancient Mariner.
 

purplesunset

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I know it seems counter-intuitive if we rely solely on type stereotypes, but NTJ's and NFP's should potentially get along very well if we look purely at the functions.

The Te of the NTJ's could be admired by both NFP's who aspire to it, and the Ni could smooth out potential pitfalls because Ni is a great vehicle for empathy, and being able to understand the essence of something even if the details might be unclear.


I believe many people mistype themselves as INTJ because some of the INTJ stereotypes are incongruent with how someone who has intuition as his primary function would behave.

There is a connection between INFP's and (true) INTJ's, and I think they can potentially get along very well. Many INTJ's have an "inner INFP" which is related to the Fi connection.

A case in point: when I take an mbti test, I get INTJ more often than any other result, especially if I try to answer as honestly and as spontaneously as possible.(INTP second most, then INFJ, INFP least) .

My primary function is actually Ni, and through this, it is more than possible for an INTJ to relate to an INFP's imaginative proclivities. This intuition also makes us INTJ's "messy" on the inside, but this is balanced with our Te's desire for categorizing the dominant patterns that we have observed. This in turn creates a veneer of order and directness on the outside.



---My post probably caused some confusion, but MBTI just doesn't apply very neatly to me :unsure:---
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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Let's try this again, shall we, and add our INFP and ENTJ siblings ;)
I'm enfp and my brother (i think) is infp although quite a social guy all his feelings seem to be internal...so i'm guessing infp...??
My Partner (Fiance) is Either intj or entj. One thing is for sure and that is that my partner will absolutely not ever admit he is wrong even if the proof is right infront of his eyes

Example...i couldn't find my house keys they have a green keyring on, we both look for them (with some gentle coaxing) whilst looking he points out that the keyring is yellow. I know it's green. He insists it's yellow, no point arguing lets just find the keys. We find them it's green-of course. He says "told you it was yellow" and will insist it is. He also knows he is slightly colour blind but will he admit that it's bloody green-no!
What is with that?

We love each other deeply btw, and i've found a way of dealing with the control freak in him like he's found a way of dealing with the untogetherness of me.
 

Amargith

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lol, I have that problem too :blush:
Moreso when I was younger...once you've invested fully in it emotionally and you're utterly convinced that you're right, it a) makes you feel like an incredible idiot when it turns out you were wrong, b) really does take a while to admit to yourself that you were in fact wrong and c) fess up to that fact takes even longer.

I dunno if that's what's going on with him or if it is truly him being colourblind, but I've learned never to claim somethign with such certainty, as I have been known to be wrong (my Si-memory isn't great when it's not connected to emotions :D). I know INTJs tend to be very much sure of themselves though, but his Se is bound to be as lousy as my Si if not worse :D
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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lol, I have that problem too :blush:
Moreso when I was younger...once you've invested fully in it emotionally and you're utterly convinced that you're right, it a) makes you feel like an incredible idiot when it turns out you were wrong, b) really does take a while to admit to yourself that you were in fact wrong and c) fess up to that fact takes even longer.

I dunno if that's what's going on with him or if it is truly him being colourblind, but I've learned never to claim somethign with such certainty, as I have been known to be wrong (my Si-memory isn't great when it's not connected to emotions :D). I know INTJs tend to be very much sure of themselves though, but his Se is bound to be as lousy as my Si if not worse :D

Ha, well at least you are outwardly aware of it ;)
To be honest.. with him, it concerns pretty much everything, he just hates admiting he is wrong-me thinks part of it is pride. We even joke about it.
I can be wrong too but i admit it and feel guilty and say sorry. Sorry is not in his vocab but if i am really determined in getting a point across he goes away and thinks about it and also addresses it. Which is pretty good thing.

So we do compliment each other very much. Although there are some red zones when the air could be cut with a knife and we get to a stage where we are so cross that we ignore each other till we have calmed down-sometimes 2 days. But it's better than having a shouting match-he dosn't do shouting, even if i shout :steam:
It's actually funny watching him raising his voice (about twice a year), it's so unnatural i giggle inside.
The things we disagree on are pretty much always the same things, we seem so very very different in our views but have learnt to accept each others, and avoid grey areas.
 
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