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Thread: NFP-NTJ Dynamic

  1. #31
    Senior Member Lacey's Avatar
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    My ex-roommate/still best friend is ENTJ. We're thousands of miles away from each other and I miss her lots...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMonocle View Post
    INFP+ENTJ= ENTJ: I have the whole day planned out. Are you almost ready? INFP: We are going somewhere? Can't I just sit here and color instead?

  2. #32
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    My ESTJ sis and I, yeah, I know, wrong thread, but it should be noted!

    Our dynamic?

    For all intents and purposes, I'm her bitch.

    She strong arms me to do all that she wants me to do, errr, not all.

    Only when she acts evil, or particularly bossy, or inappropriate, she has buttons, very special buttons, buttons that will SHTFU, and or

    So, I guess she doesn't have all the "power" in the relationship.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #33
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I kinda...discovered all those 'tricks' that way, Neptune. And yeah, they occur naturally, you get an intense reaction to them and you're curious what the hell happened

    After that, I find that I can indeed use them the way you described *checks for ENTPs and whispers* ...aka manipulate. However, usually what I do is just be aware that I feel a certain way, know that he responds to that, and naturally enhance the reaction. It's by no means disengenuine at that point. Just...a bit amplified for effect

    I do use it on other occasions as well, but he *knows* me. He knows that those are not occasions I'm supposed to be looking or feeling that way. Plus, in order to make fun of myself, I way overdo them, to let him in on the joke. Just seeing him grin coz he knows what I'm up to, is worth it

    SS, I agree that misguiding someone is never a good thing. But it's kinda...a discovery of yourself that these guys make you do, they make you more aware of yourself by being that responsive. And over time as you grow as a couple, you develop just several scenarios becoz those happen to produce results that you both really enjoy, and learn to play with that connections and those scenarios. And you'll also find they start mimicing you (seriousl, an INTJ trying to pout is too adorable ), or like amp up their 'knight in shining armour' routine or play 'mercinary' instead, bartering for a huge reward if they deal with your problem for ya, or try to guilttrip you for once. It's all part of the fun. It keeps the playfullness in your relationship, and yeah, as Neptune said, it provides challenges, causing a pleasant tension between you two. That's something that's automatically there, especially in the beginning, but every couple at some point gets faced with being bogged down in daily life and getting stuck in a rut. These games kinda cause a pleasurable jolt and remind you to spend time together and why it is again that you feel so good together, why you make a great team....consider it maintenance
    Amar, I believe that every relationship, including romantic ones, contain/express/consist of some kind of dynamic.

    Where each individual, while maintaining a sense of self, an authentic self at that, essentially, assumes a given role that happens to suit that relationship.

    My relationship with my INTJ is pretty new, oh my, it's only been two months,!



    I feel like he and I have been together forever, granted, we spend a looooooot of time together.

    So basically, I am still unaware of our relationship dynamic, if that makes sense, however, if you wanted me to describe my relationship dynamic with my ISTP ex!?!?

    Hahahahhahaha, I could give you a humorous and detailed description.

    My question is, do you believe that in EVERY relationship each party plays/fills a certain role?

    Or is it exclusive to romantic relationships, and perhaps even enhanced in NFP-NTJ one?




    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    And this isn't codependence?
    The reason why you FRUSTRATE me soooooooooooooooooooo!!!

    Is due to the fact that you consistently choose to keep your personal self and experiences void from this forum yet you certainly chime in to ask questions, and give, give, give, give advice.

    You know what I want to ask you, and I would want to ask this to ANYBODY who responded the way you did..



    Ummm, haven't you ever been in a relationship before?

    Certainly, in EVERY relationship there exists a little bit of codependence, hence you each continuing to want and, in essence, need to be there for each other.

    There is definitely a delicate balance that ensues, one where you need to maintain a sense of separate self while also maintaining room enough for those you love, and their concerns to enter into your moral psyche.

    You care about them, their well-being, their needs, their desires, etc.

    Just as you care about your own.

    Is a mother codependent on her child and vice versa?

    Well, wouldn't it make sense that the person you're romantically with, and may potentially procreate with you also had these strong bonds of "codependence" with?
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #34
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post

    My question is, do you believe that in EVERY relationship each party plays/fills a certain role?

    Or is it exclusive to romantic relationships, and perhaps even enhanced in NFP-NTJ one?
    Ime, every emotionally intimate relationship kinda has those roles. I mean..we're usually attracted to each other for a reason, usually the bond forms because of certain needs or gravitations. That also means you kinda assume roles though they can be flexible and even interchange.

    For me, as far as I've seen, I find that these bonds most easily are formed with fellow NFPs, sometimes INTPs and ISTPs, and definitely with NTJs. The more intense the bond, the more clearly the role division, I think...*ponders*
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  5. #35
    Member Phenix's Avatar
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    Just to add a little balance to this NFP-NTJ love in. My INTJ blows my head off every time I open my mouth. It's death in life like the Ancient Mariner.

  6. #36
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    I know it seems counter-intuitive if we rely solely on type stereotypes, but NTJ's and NFP's should potentially get along very well if we look purely at the functions.

    The Te of the NTJ's could be admired by both NFP's who aspire to it, and the Ni could smooth out potential pitfalls because Ni is a great vehicle for empathy, and being able to understand the essence of something even if the details might be unclear.


    I believe many people mistype themselves as INTJ because some of the INTJ stereotypes are incongruent with how someone who has intuition as his primary function would behave.

    There is a connection between INFP's and (true) INTJ's, and I think they can potentially get along very well. Many INTJ's have an "inner INFP" which is related to the Fi connection.

    A case in point: when I take an mbti test, I get INTJ more often than any other result, especially if I try to answer as honestly and as spontaneously as possible.(INTP second most, then INFJ, INFP least) .

    My primary function is actually Ni, and through this, it is more than possible for an INTJ to relate to an INFP's imaginative proclivities. This intuition also makes us INTJ's "messy" on the inside, but this is balanced with our Te's desire for categorizing the dominant patterns that we have observed. This in turn creates a veneer of order and directness on the outside.



    ---My post probably caused some confusion, but MBTI just doesn't apply very neatly to me ---
    The purple sun won't heal my purple bruises :ouch:

  7. #37
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Let's try this again, shall we, and add our INFP and ENTJ siblings
    I'm enfp and my brother (i think) is infp although quite a social guy all his feelings seem to be internal...so i'm guessing infp...??
    My Partner (Fiance) is Either intj or entj. One thing is for sure and that is that my partner will absolutely not ever admit he is wrong even if the proof is right infront of his eyes

    Example...i couldn't find my house keys they have a green keyring on, we both look for them (with some gentle coaxing) whilst looking he points out that the keyring is yellow. I know it's green. He insists it's yellow, no point arguing lets just find the keys. We find them it's green-of course. He says "told you it was yellow" and will insist it is. He also knows he is slightly colour blind but will he admit that it's bloody green-no!
    What is with that?

    We love each other deeply btw, and i've found a way of dealing with the control freak in him like he's found a way of dealing with the untogetherness of me.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  8. #38
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    lol, I have that problem too
    Moreso when I was younger...once you've invested fully in it emotionally and you're utterly convinced that you're right, it a) makes you feel like an incredible idiot when it turns out you were wrong, b) really does take a while to admit to yourself that you were in fact wrong and c) fess up to that fact takes even longer.

    I dunno if that's what's going on with him or if it is truly him being colourblind, but I've learned never to claim somethign with such certainty, as I have been known to be wrong (my Si-memory isn't great when it's not connected to emotions ). I know INTJs tend to be very much sure of themselves though, but his Se is bound to be as lousy as my Si if not worse
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  9. #39
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    lol, I have that problem too
    Moreso when I was younger...once you've invested fully in it emotionally and you're utterly convinced that you're right, it a) makes you feel like an incredible idiot when it turns out you were wrong, b) really does take a while to admit to yourself that you were in fact wrong and c) fess up to that fact takes even longer.

    I dunno if that's what's going on with him or if it is truly him being colourblind, but I've learned never to claim somethign with such certainty, as I have been known to be wrong (my Si-memory isn't great when it's not connected to emotions ). I know INTJs tend to be very much sure of themselves though, but his Se is bound to be as lousy as my Si if not worse
    Ha, well at least you are outwardly aware of it
    To be honest.. with him, it concerns pretty much everything, he just hates admiting he is wrong-me thinks part of it is pride. We even joke about it.
    I can be wrong too but i admit it and feel guilty and say sorry. Sorry is not in his vocab but if i am really determined in getting a point across he goes away and thinks about it and also addresses it. Which is pretty good thing.

    So we do compliment each other very much. Although there are some red zones when the air could be cut with a knife and we get to a stage where we are so cross that we ignore each other till we have calmed down-sometimes 2 days. But it's better than having a shouting match-he dosn't do shouting, even if i shout :steam:
    It's actually funny watching him raising his voice (about twice a year), it's so unnatural i giggle inside.
    The things we disagree on are pretty much always the same things, we seem so very very different in our views but have learnt to accept each others, and avoid grey areas.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  10. #40
    Senior Member JHBowden's Avatar
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    NFP-NTJ Dynamic
    This is not a necessary connection. People do not reduce to a string of letters!


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