Does anyone ever feel like they are unable to commit to certain things or people because they are afraid they might change their mind entirely on an idea or person? Not any idea or person, but ones that most people would have strong one sided opinions about. I don't know if it is an ENFP thing because we are constantly changing directions, or rather our IDEAS about what our future directions should/could be, but it is really starting to freak me out about myself.
I started to notice a pattern about my lack of decisiveness for all of the big commitments friends my age are beginning to take, which I can't even begin to think about such as marriage, buying a house, kids, "settling down". For example, even if I have an incredible guy that fits perfectily into my current lifestyle, which I have, I am afraid to really let him in my heart or consider marriage because I don't think he'd be OK with accepting who I might become one day. I may decide to go back to Christianity or I may decide to become a buddhist, although currently a non-practicing agnostic. I may want to move to some new city in the US or, most likely, some very random place abroad to help the less fortunate, or I may decide I want to remain in my home town and "be normal/fit in". I may want my own family or may choose I only want to adopt. There are a multitutde of others that would change up a partners game plan/life style dramatically.
The thing is, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to stop evolving/reinventing who I am or want to be even if I wanted to. I know I may not be able to stay in a relationship if a person were to be completely different from who I fell in love with so how can I ask for the same? It's impossible to expect someone to love you after you completely change as a person or what you want out of life. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone but I'd have to stay true to myself and my dreams. I can make no promise on who I'll be or what I want..
I don't know what Im asking for here, really.. Advice, empathy, shared feelings, not really sure.