These past two years I have fallen in love with a teacher. I think that she is totally unaware of how much I love her. Other than the fact that she is married and is at least 15 years old older than I am, I know that I'll never "marry" her. I've been thinking about this woman since my first year in high school. I'm now a sophomore. She's an ESTJ. She teaches me once every three school days. She's been teaching me for two years. She likes me though... she definitely doesn't hate me. She's so hot that it's even more heartbreaking that there are other boys that have a crush on her. I blush whenever I talk to her; my hair stands on its end (I have to rub my neck with my left arm for personal comfort when talking to her). I'm always QUIET in her class. All I do is nod my head, and if I wanted to ask her something after class I would wait for everyone in my class to leave the room then I would say something like: "Excuse me, ma'am...." or "May I please talk to you for a minute?"... When I found out that she got married about a month ago, I literally spent that whole day secretly crying in my bedroom.. Two weeks ago, I found out that this will be her last year at our school!!
I need guidance and would like to hear what other people have to say about this. How can I get over her? Am I hurting myself in the long run? If I email her in the future, will she reply to my messages or will she "ignore" them and move on with her life. I've heard that ESTJs are not very good with long distance relationships. I was thinking about facebook-ing her but after viewing her small friend list (which I was surprised because I knew that many people adore her).. I thought that it might be inappropriate. I'm thinking about writing to her a small thank-you book that I will present to her on the last day of school... Is that inappropriate too? I'm paranoid right now. Please help me.