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  1. #1
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Default Outlet of NF expression through writing?

    Do you think in very expressive and profound wording when you're feeling something intensely?


    I really didn't want to start a new thread for this, since it's just something personal relating to me this weekend.
    But I don't have a blog.

    And I'm curious if anyone else here is the same way.




    ISFP bf and I broke up Friday evening. Painful.

    In the moments I'm feeling something intensely, these profound expressions just come to mind - which deeply describe what I'm feeling. Don't really think of anything so descriptive otherwise - in everyday life. But perhaps it is because this is so personal, it only seems expressive to me.

    Must share.

    -------------

    How can you reject someone who loves you to death, and watch the shattered pieces of their heart written all across their face?

    ----------------
    What is it they say... pain makes you feel alive. You feel its edge cutting through your soul. Through each gasp of air you breath in. The essence of your being wrenched to knots inside your chest. The agony of tearing yourself from someone you love because that is how the balance of nature must be. The raw experience of life's journey. A release, though painful bringing one back to the place where they belong, feeling once again right with the world.
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    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  2. #2
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Do you think in very expressive and profound wording when you're feeling something intensely?
    Not really, for me it comes out through painting. Yesterday I managed to paint how I think creativity and pain are associated. There is a head that explodes into flowers...

    One of my best friends is an ENFJ. Her boyfriend is ISFP. It seems they are pretty good match. Now they've been living together for a while and they are having some trouble...

  3. #3
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Sounds like my life. We never argue and are both laid back and doting. But the depth is completely lacking... and other things like that. Lived together for over a year also. But it's like being in a relationship with your best buddy. I want someone who inspires and pushes me to expand my life. =/
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I write when I'm feeling something intensely (especially heartbreak).

    I'm sorry about your situation, but I've been there (so incredibly lost and heartbroken) and now I'm ecstatic with the one I'm with (the one in general!).

    Pain is like growing pains. You're changing, and your body/mind is crying out in discomfort. But you're going to be bigger and stronger.

  5. #5
    Senor Membrane
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    Well, what I can say about my friends. After some time they had been dating, the ENFJ started having second thoughts and told me about that. It was actually quite sad, as she said it in a way that implied she would have rather been with me.. It's weird how things go.. we had kind of a thing before she was dating this guy but it never was anything serious, but then when she was dating, we kinda got to know each other better, and in some ways I was closer to her than her boyfriend... It seems like there is some area in which they don't work too well together.

    After they started living together the problem seemed to be that the ISFP didn't have enough time alone and he became kinda uninterested in everything and the ENFJ became quite bossy... So I don't know how long they will stay together. I think they are happiest when traveling together, other times it is a good match except for something... I'm not sure what.

  6. #6
    Junior Member Lotte's Avatar
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    Yes, absolutely. Writing has always been my preferred outlet for dealing with intense emotions. I'm bipolar, and journalling through my exacerbations has helped more than any therapist ever could. Writing lets me take a small step back from a difficult situation to figure out what's going on and describe it in my own words. Then I can deal with it better going forward.

    Very INFP trait, BTW.

    I'm sorry about your breakup ... if writing your feelings down lets you vent, then by all means do it! Good music helps too!

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    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Extremely expressive. It's as thought i have "daily life" mode and "intensity" mode. It's as though there is a switch for them and i can turn them on or shut them off as i please.

    Fuzzcrossed also mentioned an ENFJ code language. I do think it is a good part of it. Descriptive to ourselves, yet vague to others. We can make an account of everything with heaps upon heaps of details, but it can appear so vague and as though we've said nothing at all.
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Sounds like my life. We never argue and are both laid back and doting. But the depth is completely lacking... and other things like that. Lived together for over a year also. But it's like being in a relationship with your best buddy. I want someone who inspires and pushes me to expand my life. =/
    i'm an enfp currently separated from isfp and going for the divorce now . . . so yep i felt the same exact way . . . and that's why i left him . . . it's been hard, . . . being in the process of divorcing your old best bud but i wanted more too.

  9. #9
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I'll sing and dance my heart out, to release the emotion, usually, especially spontaneous emotion or stress. Often this happens when I haven't been aware really something's been bugging me and haven't thought it through. It's pure and raw emotion at that point.
    I'll find a song on youtube that resonates with me, and scream along or sing one of my favorites and feel the music course through my body, making it move almost involuntarily.

    Writing works too though. Especially if it was a topic I've been thinking about for a long time, and done a lot of mulling over. Then writing it all down can be a release...a way to declutter your mind. I sometimes feel frustrated at the inability of words to transfer what I'm feeling, so I will use the most expressive words at my disposal to at least somewhat be able to transfer those emotions.

    Take heart..the pain will only be temporary. Give yourself time to process
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  10. #10
    Senior Member BlueFlame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Sounds like my life. We never argue and are both laid back and doting. But the depth is completely lacking... and other things like that. Lived together for over a year also. But it's like being in a relationship with your best buddy. I want someone who inspires and pushes me to expand my life. =/
    Ah, heartbreak. I think it's even harder when there's nothing *obviously* wrong - when there's something deeper that can't really be fixed.
    I have that struggle with my ESFP husband at times. I love him and he's my best friend, but there's no forced growth there. There's no betterment and expansion. I really hate saying it, but my first interaction with a male INTP (who things would never work out with romantically, even if I was single) was a sort-of game changer to that end. He pushed me to think and move in ways my husband doesn't, and it made me acutely aware of something missing that I didn't notice before-hand.
    I feel badly just writing that, but it's the truth, and in the end, I'm grateful that that's our biggest struggle.
    But I feel you.
    And, yes, I am incredibly expressive in times of strong emotion. People tend to think I'm being over-dramatic, but I'm not expressing anything deeper than what I'm actually feeling. The abstractness of my emotions in words just tends to unnerve a lot of people.

    I'll sing and dance my heart out, to release the emotion, usually, especially spontaneous emotion or stress. Often this happens when I haven't been aware really something's been bugging me and haven't thought it through. It's pure and raw emotion at that point.
    I'll find a song on youtube that resonates with me, and scream along or sing one of my favorites and feel the music course through my body, making it move almost involuntarily.

    Writing works too though. Especially if it was a topic I've been thinking about for a long time, and done a lot of mulling over. Then writing it all down can be a release...a way to declutter your mind. I sometimes feel frustrated at the inability of words to transfer what I'm feeling, so I will use the most expressive words at my disposal to at least somewhat be able to transfer those emotions.
    I do both of those things, as well, especially the singing and dancing! Sometimes I'm just feeling so much I just...can't...get...it... out or find the exact emotion to express, so it helps to have someone else right that words and just use it to expel the excess emotional energy. Writing is the same way. I went through a terrible heartbreak over a friend a few weeks, and I wrote my friend at least 2 letters a day for a week. Looking back at them, it's amazing to see the range of emotions and the intensity.
    But once all of the feeling is out, I can be calm, and I can think. I can be at peace. I like peace.

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