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[NF] Unbalanced relationships

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
How about we compromise:

Women like a man that makes her come to him.

LOL

sure....

but yeah, i think 20 years ago, the whole " bombard her until she gives in" works somewhat better than nowadays...just my opinion though...
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
In the beginning, of course.

Women like men that aren't desperate for their affection.

But once we're together, lay it on me. ;)
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
In the beginning, of course.

Women like men that aren't desperate for their affection.

But once we're together, lay it on me. ;)

That's the part that most guys don't understand. It's like the game changes once the chase is over.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
My first point was that a man shouldn't have to play games because if she likes you she will appreciate your attention.

My second point was (because it was brought up by nomadic that it's a different ballgame before the two of you are bf/gf) that it is true that women can be attracted to a certain degree of reserve in a man. If only because it means that the affection you give her is special.

But my first point holds true: it doesn't matter what you do. If she likes you, whatever you do will be endearing.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
My first point was that a man shouldn't have to play games because if she likes you she will appreciate your attention.

My second point was (because it was brought up by nomadic that it's a different ballgame before the two of you are bf/gf) that it is true that women can be attracted to a certain degree of reserve in a man. If only because it means that the affection you give her is special.

But my first point holds true: it doesn't matter what you do. If she likes you, whatever you do will be endearing.

There are some women out there, who like to play hard to get. They feel you have to work to win them....what about those women?
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
My first point was that a man shouldn't have to play games because if she likes you she will appreciate your attention.

My second point was (because it was brought up by nomadic that it's a different ballgame before the two of you are bf/gf) that it is true that women can be attracted to a certain degree of reserve in a man. If only because it means that the affection you give her is special.

But my first point holds true: it doesn't matter what you do. If she likes you, whatever you do will be endearing.

i agree with all u said right here brah. we were just misunderstading about timing issues and sub-context.

about the first point u had, yeah it shouldn't be like that. i can't play games on purpose, for me sometimes it does feel like they jump on me more if they feel me slipping away, but i don't do it on purpose though... im sure girls can tell if i am doing it on purpose...
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
There are some women out there, who like to play hard to get. They feel you have to work to win them....what about those women?

When you want something very much, you don't let them slip away. It's a wonderful filter, when you don't play games.

She has to know you're interested... but even then, humans are designed to be able to pick up the attraction of another, so there's little excuse there.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
When you want something very much, you don't let them slip away. It's a wonderful filter, when you don't play games.

She has to know you're interested... but even then, humans are designed to be able to pick up the attraction of another, so there's little excuse there.

A perfect balance then, because I think it backfires more than it works. Looks alone don't work, either. There are a lot of nice looking girls out here. Hopefully she has something to say too
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Just because a woman doesn't pick a bunch of guys that want her more than she wants them doesn't mean she wants a guy that wants her less than she wants him.

She isn't picking those guys because she isn't interested, not because they want her, although it's might feel better to think that way if you are a guy being rejected. Well, it's because girls always want what they can't have. No. It's because she isn't interested. Ignore her, try it! She won't come running. But it's nice to fantasize about.

Women with self-esteem appreciate a man that is 100% invested (when they are interested). That bold part is the fact that needs to be faced.

yeah, i agree with the 100% invested part but come on bro, thats when you are together, like BF/GF.... later down the line. this relationship "power balance" seems more about the dating stage, what we are talking about in this thread...

actually i never ignore a girl on purpose... it just happens that someone else called first and grabbed my attention... also its my situation too. Im going to grad school, so i got a lot of free time, while all these girls im talking about are working full time...

I was about to agree with disregard, but then my PUA instincts kicked in, and I agree with nomad more :laugh:. Until there are LABELS and terms of endearment involved, its a power struggle of who has the fastest exit strategy (or so I have experienced sadly :cry:)
 
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