[MBTI General] Are You Sick of Being an N in an S world?

[Poki]

School = 5-13th grade

But generally, I mean lower-level school. Not Gymnasium (college/uni prep) or higher education

Interesting. I wonder why some kids need that. Can't really relate. If someone gives me a vague idea of something, I can take it, run with it, and bring back a beautiful, shiny, cool thing. You know?

It took me a while to realize that a lot of people do not like that freedom. They want or even NEED to be told what to do every step of the way.

I wonder why that is. Really. If I could understand the underlying reason, it wouldn't frustrate me as much.

Im almost the exact opposite, show me a pic of some shiney new thing you want and I will come back with what you asked for, I dont need steps either just need to know what you want the outcome to be.

 

[Snow Turtle]

School = 5-13th grade

But generally, I mean lower-level school. Not Gymnasium (college/uni prep) or higher education

Interesting. I wonder why some kids need that. Can't really relate. If someone gives me a vague idea of something, I can take it, run with it, and bring back a beautiful, shiny, cool thing. You know?

It took me a while to realize that a lot of people do not like that freedom. They want or even NEED to be told what to do every step of the way.

I wonder why that is. Really. If I could understand the underlying reason, it wouldn't frustrate me as much.

The times I've wanted clear instructions are either a) It's easier to have somebody point out what I need to do, which is just mental laziness. b) For some individuals, their desire to get things correct first time induce a sense of uncertainty within them on whether they are doing something correct. Emphasis on there is no correct method might be a better approach in this regard, but still there will be students who want methods from authority purely because of pleasing tendancies. [There must be a best/efficient route.]

The times people do like freedom is when they are extremely interested in their own work. For example, think of all the SJs who decide to set up their own business and work for themselves. Alternatively, the SPs that get carried away with their project that they are working on. It's mostly about motivation...

School is kind of tedious for most students hence the horrible attitude that exists within some societies, that people are just getting through college/university so that they can move onto the next stage of life.

 

[PeaceBaby]

I’ve since come to understand that I was looking at things the wrong way. I was assuming that everyone thought like me. This was such a fundamental assumption for me that it had never even occurred to me that there was another way to think about love.

Excellent you see this now. This is where MBTI / personality style discussions really offer value. It is refreshing to gain insight into the generalized uniqueness of us all.

...I don`t think it would work out with an S in the long run. I want someone who will understand me like I really am, not just my top layer.

Don't start me on another rant: love ≠ preferred "type". I have been married to an ESTJ for 20+ years, and cutting potential mates from your list because of their "type" is short-sighted at best.

There's a book dedicated to this called the 5 Love Languages. While it seems true that SJs will prefer acts of services as their top 3. It could be based on a completely off-base stereotype.

It is a good book though, and it's a good mention in this thread.

And in response to the OP:

I always chewed on the question from a different perspective. Specifically, how come I "adapt" myself to the world but no one "adapts" to me? I often felt like the communication chameleon; I would read the situation, adapt my body language and verbal style to the person or group. It's instantaneous; I do it without even trying, and it used to make me feel a little less defined, like I had less of a unique identity or character than other people.

After all, why do I bend and adapt to them? Why do they not read me and try to emulate me in order to foster relationships between us? Then, in learning about MBTI I had an "aha" moment. A very affirming one.

Now, I see this ability as a huge asset, and I would suggest you look at it the same way. What a wonderful gift you have, that you can see and sense what is required in order to communicate effectively with a variety of types and you can offer that up at a moment's notice! Sure, I hear what you are saying, you feel alone sometimes in that ... space. But you need to realize that rather than a burden it's a life-affirming gift, and if that means you feel the occasional isolation from it, that's a small price to pay, no?

There are, after all, pros and cons to everything.

 

[1487610420]

No.

As I age, I find that a natural balance seems to be taking place; one that forges intellectual abstraction with fact-based analysis. I'm grateful, therefore, that I encountered the MBTI and directed it as a lens to enhance what I would have formerly considered deliberate puerility - certainly to my loss.

This on top of some of what the OP wrote as an inner perception.

 

[Litvyak]

Notice the qualifier "really," meaning "not much."

Yeah this does change the meaning, you're right.
I wouldn't want to live this way, but I guess it's possible to close the world til a certain point.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Esoteric Wench: First off, can I just give you a hug?
It sounds to me that the S's you've been involved with don't completely care to try to understand you and maybe lack the knowledge to try. I can say that I LOVE ENFPs! Heck, I enjoy N's quite well. I've found that my closest friends/relationships have been with N's, and they seem to understand me, and I them quite well.

Actually, your story of you and your boyfriend irritated me. It seemed that he just didn't really value what you had to say. I know, personally, I would've enjoyed listening and learning about the history of the house. If that person cares about you, they'll make an attempt to listen and to understand.

And you know what? You don't have to change at all. In fact, I suggest you don't. There are people out there who value people like you. Heck, I'm one
I'd be pretty disappointed if I didn't have any N's out there to play with.

So this is more of an encouragement post than an actual 'knowledgeable' one. Sorry I couldn't better contribute, but I felt that you should know that your appreciated the way you are.

 

[teslashock]

Are you sick of being an S in an N forum?

 

[sticker]

Are you sick of being an S in an N forum?

Yes but I wouldn't sweat it because I don't treat the forum as seriously as most Ns here seem to be.

 

[Poki]

Are you sick of being an S in an N forum?

Sometimes get bored, but not sick. Its pretty obvious when I have a desire to stick around in a thread, but NTs arnt add anything new and just want to fight for what they think is right. Ive noticed thats its usually INTPs are the ones that I seem to bring in new ideas for me to think about, but they dont seem to keep things up and give up or something.

INTPS make me go hmm.....ENTPs make me derail the thread.

 

[PeaceBaby]

^ like now LOL!

C'mere all you ENTP's, I love ya all and give you a giant !

 

[PeaceBaby]

Actually, your story of you and your boyfriend irritated me. It seemed that he just didn't really value what you had to say. I know, personally, I would've enjoyed listening and learning about the history of the house. If that person cares about you, they'll make an attempt to listen and to understand.

And this is a astute observation - my son, ESFP, a complete lover of history, could talk your ear off about it. He too would have loved this part of the convo.

That's not necessarily an S / N divide, using it as a subjective "for example".

And @bolded:

 

[Poki]

^ like now LOL!

C'mere all you ENTP's, I love ya all and give you a giant !

ENTPs Just because I have so much fun in the process Especially when I hit that button that makes them have to explain their reasoning to me Dont worry, I do this to pretty much everyone

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Are you sick of being an S in an N forum?

Not really, no. In fact, it's kind of exhilarating. I actually really like watching and seeing how N's interact and think. I think the only thing that upsets me is when someone immediately pushes me away because I'm an S. But that's only happened just a very few times(like twice).

 

[teslashock]

Not really, no. In fact, it's kind of exhilarating. I actually really like watching and seeing how N's interact and think. I think the only thing that upsets me is when someone immediately pushes me away because I'm an S. But that's only happened just a very few times(like twice).

I'm sorry; this thread was directed at Ns. Could you and your S-hat please See your way to another area of the forum?

Thanks!

 

[ayoitsStepho]

I'm sorry; this thread was directed at Ns. Could you and your S-hat please See your way to another area of the forum?

Thanks!

I see what you did there

 

[Llewellyn]

Personally, I don't find anything wrong with talking about the style of the house that's pretty. That actually sounds pretty Si for comparing to something you know about in the past. Heck, sometimes I'm the one rambling on.

I can easily imagine this. It depends, I think, on where your interest is. I can imagine the particular person's Ne not with the details or history of something but 'in loose space' around it. N then will drift off, likely, while the S(i) will probably stick to the thing in question - or to the person in question as the Se in OP's story.

To OP: I've encountered things like that, where I was literally requested to "just say [only] yes" to a question. Or was it in my phantasy?

 

[CzeCze]

I think it was more frustrating when I was younger but I think life experience and repetition makes things easier.

I also think I have a lot of intuitive friends and a larger circle of intuitives in my social networks (woot woot for liberal arts colleges and progressive/hippies? lol). I think some of the friction that people associate with S vs N is not a personality typing issue but an institutional issue. Meaning its not so much about interpersonal conflict but rather you dealing (or not) with the nitty gritty of life like dealing with utility companies, insurance, doctors visits, driving, etc. There are some things that could be more intuitive friendly and be retooled, for instance schools and learning environments, but there are some that are inherently super 'S' or detail/sensory oriented.

I think as far as adulthood is concerned, a lot of N/S friction or disorientation can't be helped, it's really up to you regardless of your personality type to be competent and get around in the world.

The most extreme case of N vs S interpersonal friction or misunderstanding I've seen is when extreme N's (especially NPs) are considered "spacey" or "airheady". In this I have to side with the "S's" - if you are extremely in your head or disconnected in a concrete/sensory way with your surroundings that is often read (correctly) as not being in touch with the people around you and just not caring. I think this is exacerbated if you are an introvert or if you are extraverted and read as having a "hard edge".

I know I've been read as aloof or unfriendly or just in my own world in the past and I understand why.

 

[Parrish]

Don't start me on another rant: love ≠ preferred "type". I have been married to an ESTJ for 20+ years, and cutting potential mates from your list because of their "type" is short-sighted at best.

I don`t "look" for certain type related preferences. If the relationship would be fulfilling I wouldn`t really care about type. But I have yet to meet a sensor romantically interested in me, who wouldn`t just think I`m weird and leave it at that. Or it could be I just met really immature/unhealthy guys (which can be of any type of course).

 

[IZthe411]

I tihnk it's more balance and maturity.

After my last reltionship, I've come to appreciate a girl that can expand on a topic that's thrown out and share something with me that I didn't know or isn't widely known, whether it's directly related to what I said or it somehow connects to another thought within that person.


Overall, This is going in the direction of 'stereotyping S' threads... It's not that an S cannot relate, or they fail to see the connections from an N. Sensors have the capacity to use intuition and theorize. We all do. It's just that it's more prominent in you, that's why you are type as a dominant N. Besides, the S way of thought and life isn't consistent and concrete among all Sensors. My values and beliefs aren't linear to the status quo. Some of the systems in this world make no sense to me. I have the ability to discuss theories that I have, but that's not what I'm prone to do.

I think the best approach to your situation is to continue to do what you stated in your OP: take in knowledge. Learn to express yourself in a variety of ways to reach the desired result. If you don't, don't blanket blame 80% of society. If you have questions about sensors you are welcome to come over to the SP or SJ forums.

 

[The Outsider]

I prefer it that way actually.