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Thread: An NF Curse?

  1. #1
    Senior Member OctaviaCaesar's Avatar
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    Question An NF Curse?

    Is this just an NF thing, or is it a strong F thing?

    Here I quote from Kiersey's Please Understand Me II, where he compares SPs' attitude toward errors to that of the NFs, saying, "...nor do they live in anticipation of mistakes as their abstract opposites the idealists do...." THAT'S IT!!!

    Part of what contributes to my depressive outlook on life is my high perfectionistic standards joined to my belief that I will probably fail at what I do. I have hardly ever failed at anything I have tried, but I believe that I have a greater chance to do badly than to succeed. I have a high GPA, and yet each time I sign up for a class all I can see is myself bringing home an F on the last day of class. What on earth?!?!?

    I would have thought it was just my weirdness, except that it is the same for my ENFP mother. Is it just my family? What do y'all think?

  2. #2
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    I do fear making mistakes. Sometimes it takes forever for me to try or learn something new because of that fear. Often I doubt myself so much that I will make very slow progress, if any, at what others may consider very simple tasks. If anyone shows the least bit of doubt in my ability then it will double my anxiety. But I have gotten much better. There was a time when I was so nervous about driving to places that I would have my friends drive me there in my car.

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    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    It has been my experience that NFs can be both paranoid and very negative.
    I always attributed that to the ST shadow being too narrow minded though.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    I am also anticipating problems the whole day through. But not necessarily in a negative way. I've even turned it into my job as IT manager/troubleshooter, for now.
    There's a thin line between being intuïtive and being paranoïd. More like the downside of the medal rather than a curse. I am personally getting better at directing my intuition over the years and through experience. I suspect NFs are often latebloomers.

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    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    I definitely experienced that a lot when I was younger, and still do to a slightly lesser degree now. I've viewed some things from a "I'm going to fail" outlook, although that didn't always happen. Right now my biggest worry is the future. I'm being drown in high expectations to go to university and all that usual stuff, but at this point I have no idea what I want to do. I often worry I won't do well enough in school next year to get into a school and that my family will abandon me or something because of it. I sometimes worry I'll get into a school, but fail when I get there due to lack of motivation, and having only gone there because I was told to and not because of an honest desire to study something. I'll worry about car crashes, tornadoes, the plague (:P) ect.

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    Senior Member OctaviaCaesar's Avatar
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    GZA, it sounds like you worry just like me. It's more fun when you are actually in college, NOT.

    Xander, would you elaborate on the ST shadow? What does that mean?

    Kiddo, it sounds to me like you are close to being an NT in your desire to be good at what you do. Are you borderline F/T?

    Vince, what do you mean by being a late bloomer? Personality-wise, how would this manifest?

    Thanks to all for posting!

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    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Fear of making mistakes pretty much dictated my whole highschool/undergrad years. I'm thinking of putting a stop to this irrational fear. *sigh*

    The ST shadow thing make sense to me... especially with ESTP being my shadow type. Coming up with twisted logic to explain irrational thoughts about stuff that's going to happen. NFs and paranoia goes hand in hand. I although I sometimes wonder why does paranoia have to be in a negative direction. Why can't it be about happy stuff?

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    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    I guess we all share the same curse. My main problem is that I always set my standards kind of high. I remember when I used to go to the gym with a trainer and he always told me that I worked hard but one time he told me to just chill and got pissed off and yelled at me because he said that I was being unreasonable with way I was working out and my expectations where not reasonable even though I busted my ass there. After that I learned to set more realistic goals for myself. I try to keep things in perspective as much as I can but I still find myself dissappointed a lot of times because things don't live up to my expectations. Yes and I can get depressed because of this as well.
    ENFJ 3W4

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    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Actually, no. This doesn't apply to me.
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    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

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    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OctaviaCaesar View Post
    Vince, what do you mean by being a late bloomer? Personality-wise, how would this manifest?
    Well, I know I am a late bloomer. It might be a personal thing or just an INFJ thing.
    I'm 28 and pretty succesfull at what I do, now, but it took me longer to find my niche, than average, I supose. Between age 18-24 I wasn't half as mature and socially skilled as many other people of my generation. I think it might take an INFJ longer to mature or to develop, because business and carreer wise we live in an (E)ST-world. With that I don't want to generalize anything, just giving my input. INFJ's in particular are also rather spiritual in nature and let's just face it, society is very material. I took me long to get used to that, to learn to play the game.

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