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Thread: An NF Curse?

  1. #11
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    i think NF just goes through more ups and downs than other types

    a lot of that probably depends on how their love life is going at the time

  2. #12
    Senior Member tovlo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OctaviaCaesar View Post
    Is this just an NF thing, or is it a strong F thing?
    Don't know, but I know it's true for me and I'm NF and strong F.

    You describe typing as INFJ and you mentioned your ENFP mother. There were other NF types who responded here, but I noted a strong infj response.

    I wonder if there is a particular manifestation to this in types with dominant intuition combined with feeling. Perhaps something with the intuition seeing many possibilities and feeling judgement getting fixated on the negative ones in an act of proactive emotional self-protection?

    When I was still at the infp forum, I spoke once of paralyzing perfectionistic fear. The only other person there who seemed to resonate strongly with what I was speaking of was another infj mistyped as infp.

    Perhaps all NF's struggle with a strong negative emotional response to the idea of making errors, but it manifests differently in different NF types?
    "We don't see things as they are,
    we see things as we are."
    ...Anais Nin

  3. #13
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I only find it a curse when I don't just keep it as a note and try anyway. I find that once you realize how much of a beautiful safety net it is you tie it up under you and do the high flying feats anyway. It can help see the dangers as you go so you can dodge them as you focus on the goal ahead. I say it's a beautiful gift that one has to learn how to use properly; though I'm not the best at it, I can already see some positive results.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #14
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tovlo View Post
    I wonder if there is a particular manifestation to this in types with dominant intuition combined with feeling. Perhaps something with the intuition seeing many possibilities and feeling judgement getting fixated on the negative ones in an act of proactive emotional self-protection?

    When I was still at the infp forum, I spoke once of paralyzing perfectionistic fear. The only other person there who seemed to resonate strongly with what I was speaking of was another infj mistyped as infp.

    Perhaps all NF's struggle with a strong negative emotional response to the idea of making errors, but it manifests differently in different NF types?
    Quite possibly. Though I would possibly change that to all* INF's. I'm not sure ENF's are as prone. (They may still exhibit it, but I'm guessing it would be much less intense than an INF's response.) I'm a pretty strong F, too, but I've never really feared making mistakes, exactly. In fact, I'm probably on the more reckless side - doing something and then later going, oops, that probably wasn't the best approach.

    And there's no way I'm a perfectionist.

    And I notice the only other ENFP posted on this thread (Niffer) didn't see it applying to her, either.




    *And by all I mean most. Most INF's. Let's not generalise, folks!
    ANFP:
    Extraversion (52%) ---- Introversion (48%)
    Sensing (26%) ---- iNtuition (74%)
    Thinking (16%) ---- Feeling (84%)
    Judging (5%) ---- Perceiving (95%)

    9w1 so/sx/sp

  5. #15
    Senior Member tovlo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arcticangel02 View Post
    Quite possibly. Though I would possibly change that to all* INF's.
    Actually I have a suspicion that INFP's experience is different as well. I'm not sure though and know an ENFP's or ENFJ's experience even less well. I do have some sense of shared experience here among the INFJ's though.

    Yet, Kiersey did say it was an NF phenomenon so it left me considering that all NF's experience some form of what was described, but the experience is different enough that there may not be much felt resonance between them even if they come from a shared similar core experience.

    Basically I don't know. I just resonated personally.
    "We don't see things as they are,
    we see things as we are."
    ...Anais Nin

  6. #16
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Sorry for not being so depressing on my outlook?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    Fear of making mistakes pretty much dictated my whole highschool/undergrad years. I'm thinking of putting a stop to this irrational fear. *sigh*
    I remember discussing "self-talk" in a college class: the things you say to yourself in your own mind, and how your life might be different if you told yourself different things. There was a long list of possible things people tell themselves and seem to accept as true. One of them was "It's terrible to make a mistake."

    When I read it, I stared in amazement. What? Huh? You mean it's possible that making mistakes ISN'T terrible? It's possible that I don't have to crucify myself every time I make a mistake? How on earth would that work?

    I'm trying, but now I tend to become angry with myself for forgetting to remember not to become angry with myself over mistakes.

  8. #18
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    The below may seem like a mass of contradictions, but... ;-)

    I do hold myself to high standards. As in, I expect a lot out of myself. I can be pretty hard on myself (in terms of my how I view myself and interactions with others), and probably don't cut myself enough slack half the time.

    But I don't have something innate within me where I feel that I'm going to fail at whatever I do. I have a reasonable amount of confidence in many of my abilities - the 'tangible results' piece.

    Beyond tangible stuff, looking more at overall life stuff in the long term...I'm not too worried. Things will work out, even though in the present moment I might be living in a state of confusion or unhappiness or whatever negative emotion. I'm not at all saying that I don't experience despair/anxiety/fear/whatever -- oh, I experience these often. But there must be some deep-seated 'optimism'/'idealism' where I resurface again.

    I can only be who I am, and I don't really compare my outward 'successes'/accomplishments against others (although I might be sad or wistful that I operate differently and can't jive or connect easily with many I meet, or might be wistful that life doesn't seem to be as 'easy' or straightforward for me as for many surrounding me); it's always held to an internal standard as far as what I want to achieve for myself. I don't really fret the small stuff, and making mistakes on the little details. I don't mind making a mistake once. If I do it once, ok, fair enough, no biggie. It's if I repeat the same 'mistake', or the same situation occurs repeatedly and I haven't found a 'solution' or resolution to it, then I'll start being hard on myself. Or in terms of my hobby of painting -- I'm incredibly perfectionistic by this point, because I've been doing it for nearly 7 years, so you'd think I'd have it down pat by now. I don't. I still put out really lousy paintings, that put me in really bad moods because I think I shouldn't be making any painting 'mistakes' by this point. ;-)

    But there is definitely an element of fear for me in making big life decisions-- and fearing making mistakes with the big stuff --> life direction, job, relationships, etc. I think fear is 'normal' in the sense that anyone will experience it if the person is in any way looking beyond their own comfort zone or way of doing things or existing. But I try not to let the fear rule me - I will take risks and throw myself over the cliff if I feel it'll help me to grow or is something I 'need'. It's not that the fear isn't there...it might be quite powerful in fact - but I sometimes 'ignore' it because I think a greater good will come by me looking past it. For example, right out of college I had the opportunity to go out to Utah for a 5 month job working for a national park. It was June 5ish - I got the offer - I had to provide a response by June 7 on whether I'd be ready/able to be out in Utah by June 16 to start work. You have no idea how scared I was. I was terrified. My heart was thumping. But deep down I *knew* I would regret it if I didn't. I knew I had to go, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. So, that was my answer. And 10 days later I was driving cross country to the unknown. :-) So with the big stuff...I always end up following my gut. :-)

    Have I made 'mistakes' when it comes to relationships? My assessments? Jobs I've taken in the past?? Oh, definitely. You have no idea one of the jobs I took the first yr out of college - what a clueless fool I was. But you learn from them too, and you might learn more about yourself through the mistakes than if you didn't make them.

  9. #19
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Not contradictions cas, it's moving past curse to becoming a gift.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #20
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Not contradictions cas, it's moving past curse to becoming a gift.
    Oh, you are too kind. :-) I don't know that I'm quite there.... baby steps....

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