User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 26

  1. #1
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ORLY
    Posts
    228

    Default You can defend others, but not yourself?

    You know what I mean? What're your experiences in this matter?
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    297

    Default

    I tend to think of people as my children (even if they're much older than me). People can say nasty things to me and it doesn't bother me.

    I feel a bit of a fatherly instinct with people, I suppose. Don't know if it's so much my typology as much as it is that I've always taken my big brother duties so seriously.

  3. #3
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    321

    Default

    That's a good question to ponder. I guess it's because I sometimes feel like I deserve all of the crap headed in my direction, while I like sticking up for people. It's more of a "me" issue because of my lack of self confidence and I try and make up for it with compassion. But I will say that I turn into a completely different person when I'm defending someone. I feel as if I'm sticking up for mankind, you know? I guess it's something to work on.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ORLY
    Posts
    228

    Default

    I had quite a few run-ins with a douchebag from my old high school. He'd pick on this one girl in our gym class who seemed to be mentally handicapped. I don't think I've ever felt so much hostility and disdain towards a person to that degree before. It was just sickening, and our gym teacher would never do anything about it because I couldn't 'prove it'.
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    Phantonym
    Guest

    Default

    Good question, indeed. I don't necessarily think that I deserve the things said to me but it seems that there's at least some truth in everything that comes my way. So, I start processing it and while doing so, defending myself is the last thing on my mind.

    Sometimes it's more like obstructionism, when confronted with something and I'm "pressured" to defend myself. It's like I have to put things on hold because I have to look at them from multiple aspects, consider all the data, myself, the person who is "attacking" me, evaluate the situation and the evidence the other party presents, is it even anything relevant and whatnot. I need time to think things through and reach a decision on whether it's even a situation where I should defend myself or how to go about doing that. And that can be interpreted as being submissive and unable to defend myself. Most of the time I simply choose that it's not worth the effort because the situation is absolutely ridiculous and I'm above that already. I walk away.

    But with defending others it's like a black and white scenario, there is not so much getting lost in the processing of the data but a strong need to act. I "feel" the need to stand up for those in need. And it's not that they can't do it for themselves, it's more like a unified front against the "evil".

  6. #6
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    ^this
    Love is the point.

  7. #7
    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Posts
    1,690

    Default

    For some reason, (apparent) altruism is honorable while self-preservation is deplorable. It seems to be some sort of (random?) social law...

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,498

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    For some reason, (apparent) altruism is honorable while self-preservation is deplorable. It seems to be some sort of (random?) social law that my Fe often fails to grasp and force me into submission.
    Its not random, (apparent) altruism is a true win-win situation.
    Im out, its been fun

  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    I'm kinda defensive unfortunately... Don't hesitate a bit to defend myself or others.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #10
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ORLY
    Posts
    228

    Default

    It's a curious thing. Like what was already mentioned, I think I either feel that defending myself is either not worth the grief (although it'll bother me for the rest of the day) or that I just don't really feel like I'm worth defending. I don't know what it us about defending others. Maybe it feels good to show others that you're on their side, that you know what's happening is wrong and that standing by and watching is just unbarable.

    I'd always be really shaken up after confrontations like that.

    ... Whatever happened to dueling over something? XD
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-08-2015, 08:09 AM
  2. Replies: 24
    Last Post: 07-06-2010, 02:11 PM
  3. [NF] Why are NF good in fighting for others but not for themselves?
    By Virtual ghost in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 12-28-2009, 09:07 PM
  4. Draw yourself (but not your portrait)
    By alcea rosea in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 03-17-2008, 06:41 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO