I would like to ask the other NFJs how they view their tempers and their personal experiences with it. I ask this because I frequently feel, even when I'm calm and rather "Zen", that I've swallowed fire. When I watch other NFJs, I relate to the overmastering drive to help, rescue and connect to people, but also to that weird combustive underconscience that is no more malevolent than real fire, but just as blistering. I want harmony and safety for people, and I also have this war-like pounding in my blood. Rescue and contention: Are the two meant to go together?
I've struggled with feelings of ambivalence over this since I was young, like I *should* be "cool" because that's what was constantly thrown up in my face as the ideal when I was growing up. Even minor displays of emotional reaction were yelled down or considered bad or startling.
I try to ignore or hide it because I can't make it go away. My father, an INFJ, has a very fiery personality, and two other male friends of mine, both INFJs, are the same way. Very intense and combustive by nature (read: not insane, flighty, irrational, malicious or shrill...).
When I see Sidney Poitier, I relate to him strongly. He was/is pretty intense, but not out of control or unreasonable. I don't feel out-of-control or unreasonable either, but I *do* feel that being this naturally ferocious (even when contained) is frowned upon? My twin is very understanding and tries to help me be comfortable with myself.
I'm really DONE with feeling like I have to disown part of me to be acceptable.
I want to hear from other NFJs what it's been like for them. Do you have this same thing? Can you tell me about it/describe it to me?