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  1. #21
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post

    I've got two modes -- on and off. When I love you, I love you forever. Therefore I resist love. And my nature fights back, driving me toward it. Likewise, when I hate something, the hate is hard to shake off. I have an elephant memory to aide this, for better or worse. I seem to love and hate in a big ball of fire, but it's not irrational or even destructive. It just seems transmuting? One state of being to another?
    Sometimes it's like this:



    Sometimes it's like this:



    But it's never this:



    It's difficult to get people to understand that you're not having some half-cocked emotional reaction because for all intents and purposes that's exactly what it sounds like we're describing. No, it's not that. Maybe even reactive isn't a good word either. I would say responsive, but that lacks intensity as well. And then you get into the whole emotionally (un)stable thing, which I think it sounds like the precarious edge we're dancing on. The only thing I know how to do is show pictures. There's consistency and stability in this, it's not irrational or illogical. It's not just reactive but proactive as well.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #22
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Your inner NFJ Aragorn archetype asserting itself, perhaps?
    *gasp* How did you know? He's always been my favourite character from the Lord of the Rings books. The movies only made it worse.

  3. #23
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    She'll be in good hands, or at least the best I can summon up. But yeah, 10ft high flames of OMG

    It does things to me that turns kitty almost slave-like

    Please don't take this as an offense
    None whatsoever, dear Run. And please do stick around the thread. We like having you here.



    Quote Originally Posted by Theory View Post
    Amen to absolutely everything that has been said. It's all me, all of it... especially the burning passion/flame analogy. It's weird, because I can even get passionate about the mundane things of life,
    Yes!! That's it exactly! Like NOTHING seems to register a half-baked feeling or response. And it's not a shouting screaming thing either. It's just this constant low-level intensity.


    and you know, maybe that's why ENFJs in particular burn out quicker than other extroverted types (or at least that's how it is with me).
    My sister, the ENFP, is more extroverted than I am and (I hate to use this term because it makes me sound like a fluctuating lunatic) "even-keeled". I've often used elemental signs to describe her and myself and our friends/family. To me, Jaye's cooling like water, is a powerful non-aggressive force and if someone attempts to strong-arm her, she just parts around them or closes over them. I'm more like fire. Everything I touch changes form or burns away.

    My sister once said that if we had two islands, hers would be for people who needed some R&R and affection, while mine would be for catharsis? To me, catharsis almost indicates a burning away. Do the other NFJs have private "islands"?

    Another interesting thing that someone pointed out was the deep love for heroism and ideals that NFJs possess. It might not go for all of us, but I can definitely relate to that. That's the one thing that gets me passionately angry faster than anything else -- when I feel that someone's humanity or rights are being violated in some way, or when my values and beliefs are being infringed. And I love the idea of fighting for those things... I feel like those battles are justified and noble and should be fought with enthusiasm (again with the passion). And for some reason I've also always been fascinated by battles and warrior societies. I'm the one girl in my family who absolutely loves watching war movies and long battle scenes (if they're done well). Granted, I usually go for the historical ones, simply because I find the tactics more interesting, but either way.
    I wanted to be an Amazon when I was a teenager. lol Take me down some uppity male-dominated martial societies!... but on the serious side, I fully understand what you mean. I seem to engage, on a gut level, the idea of battle and contention for the higher purpose. War and bloodshed of themselves is revolting to me, and amounts to barbarism. I can't stand brutality. But I suppose brutality is another way of saying "one-sided fight" which is in turn an activator for my ever-present justice function.


    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Sometimes it's like this:



    Sometimes it's like this:



    But it's never this:


    Yes!! Just like that! Pictures are a great idea!

    It's difficult to get people to understand that you're not having some half-cocked emotional reaction because for all intents and purposes that's exactly what it sounds like we're describing. No, it's not that.
    Thank you! Exactly!


    Maybe even reactive isn't a good word either. I would say responsive, but that lacks intensity as well. And then you get into the whole emotionally (un)stable thing, which I think it sounds like the precarious edge we're dancing on. The only thing I know how to do is show pictures. There's consistency and stability in this, it's not irrational or illogical. It's not just reactive but proactive as well.
    I'm going to share with you guys a word that really struck me as being fundamentally ENFJ (and perhaps INFJ too?). It describes a state of being, rather than a "thing". Let's see if you agree or disagree?

    In ancient Stoic cosmology, there was a word used to describe the way the universe came into being, in a sudden and constantly reforming CREATIVE gout of fire, called "ekpyrosis" or literally 'heating to the ultimate' or "out of the fire'. The cosmos is engulfed in a firey eternal cycle of birth, destruction and rebirth, transmuting everything into this fire-energy. I've never felt a stronger affinity to a word before. I refer to myself as being "ekpyrotic" and it makes me feel understood.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    *gasp* How did you know? He's always been my favourite character from the Lord of the Rings books. The movies only made it worse.
    Aragorn is, to my mind, the most pure form of the best of NFJ drives/intentions. It's good that you see yourself in him. You know nobility (and yourself too) when you see it.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #24
    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Aragorn is, to my mind, the most pure form of the best of NFJ drives/intentions. It's good that you see yourself in him. You know nobility (and yourself too) when you see it.
    Yeah Aragorn is a perfect example. He's all about poetic justice.

  5. #25
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Well, there is the phrase "light a fire under someones ass" when you need to get them going...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #26
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Well, there is the phrase "light a fire under someones ass" when you need to get them going...

    hahahahah! I like it! NFJS: The Fanny-Scorchers of the Cosmos.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #27
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    One of my INFJ friends, when he talks about his cameras, he combusts and smiles and it's intense. When he talks about something that makes him really angry, he combusts and bites his lips and it's intense. The intensity is the constant.
    Now, this is something I can relate to. But only amongst close friends and family, as around coworkers or acquaintances or group settings I usually keep things very calm. I'm careful who I express myself to, and whether I think it's 'appropriate' or not.

    But my brother, who I live with right now, can attest to my emotional....intensity. I think I read a description somewhere on infj (or perhaps it's NF's across the board), that mentioned when happy (or whatever) the face will light up instantaneously and will be glowing and exuberant. But when angry/upset/brooding, the same face will darken instantaneously like a thundercloud.

    I can sometimes be like that. The perfect thundercloud/fire-within example for me is when my brother's flicking channels on tv and lets it sit too long on CNN or FoxNews or any news station for that matter - I become quite vocal, my face thunderclouds, I want him to change the station, I can't stand watching/listening to the inane news banter (i.e. 'How to not get into debt over Christmas' -- well, how about not spending more than you make?? grr ) ....it disturbs my peace (because 99% of what I see on the news makes me angry... hehe.

  8. #28
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    Now, this is something I can relate to. But only amongst close friends and family, as around coworkers or acquaintances or group settings I usually keep things very calm. I'm careful who I express myself to, and whether I think it's 'appropriate' or not.

    But my brother, who I live with right now, can attest to my emotional....intensity. I think I read a description somewhere on infj (or perhaps it's NF's across the board), that mentioned when happy (or whatever) the face will light up instantaneously and will be glowing and exuberant. But when angry/upset/brooding, the same face will darken instantaneously like a thundercloud.

    I can sometimes be like that. The perfect thundercloud/fire-within example for me is when my brother's flicking channels on tv and lets it sit too long on CNN or FoxNews or any news station for that matter - I become quite vocal, my face thunderclouds, I want him to change the station, I can't stand watching/listening to the inane news banter (i.e. 'How to not get into debt over Christmas' -- well, how about not spending more than you make?? grr ) ....it disturbs my peace (because 99% of what I see on the news makes me angry... hehe.
    I can identify with that, but to a lesser extent; I tend to just pull inward instead and get spacy. When I'm happy I have to becareful not to look too giddy or the other heteros around me start wondering if I'm gay ><
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    You know, I think it might be nice to have an NFP temperament thread to compliment this one! I'd like to see what happens inside the NFPs' heads. I've often stood in astonishment when my sister is able to disengage from a bad situation. She can choose to feel things to some extent, or delay a reaction. I have no choice whatsoever. I look at her as being the stronger one, but she discourages such talk out of me.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #30
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You know, I think it might be nice to have an NFP temperament thread to compliment this one! I'd like to see what happens inside the NFPs' heads. I've often stood in astonishment when my sister is able to disengage from a bad situation. She can choose to feel things to some extent, or delay a reaction. I have no choice whatsoever. I look at her as being the stronger one, but she discourages such talk out of me.
    That's because it hurts or explodes just as much, we just handle it differently.

    Actually, LadyJaye, want to start one?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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