Yeah, I agree about the failure part, actually. I was thinking about this just the other day.
The illusion part and people secretly hating me...possibly. I'm sure it has probably been true occasionally. But most of the time, I doubt it. I think that when people secretly dislike you, you get to hear about it/find out about it eventually. People talk about you behind your back and someone passes it on to someone who passes it on to you...etc. Sure, there have been occasions in my life where someone has said something not the nicest about me behind my back and it got back to me. But mostly it's been nothing too hideous, and it happens so seldom that unless I'm grandly delusional, or totally wrapped up in my own little world, I tend to think that most people actually do think I'm ok.
I'm certainly not saying everyone adores me and is my friend...no way. I am saying that most of them probably fall somewhere between being indifferent to me, all the way up to being a very close friend (a minority).
It is also true that some people are assholes and will go in for the kill if you make the slightest error (however much you may try to fix it) or show weakness of any sort, even if you do your best to resolve the nastiness on your side.
I'm not going to stop trying to be a "nice person." I think the key is knowing when to be more assertive about your needs. And also not thinking that you have the power to control everyone's reaction just because you're doing your best to get along with them.