[NF] A honest description of an NF male.

[Orangey]

How so?

Well, it's been my experience that those with the highest interest in "proving" their manliness, for whatever reason, have the highest levels of gender insecurity. And your OP exudes all kinds of insecurity. And only someone with an unusual level of gender or sexuality confusion would be so insecure.

[And don't say that it's because of the context. I know full well that you are reacting to NF male stereotypes of being feminine. You should realize that it is your reaction to this stereotype that makes you seem gender insecure.]

 

[Kastor]

Hell, I'm offended by the stereotypes of NF females. It's just... wow. Sugar-coated to the extreme.

 

[Udog]

The OP should be clarified to state that it's an honest description of an ENFP male. Even though Fi has been the forum hot-topic lately, in this case I'd say it's Ne guided by Fi that is the star of the show. There is a clear desire to not be confined, regardless of how responsible or irresponsible the emotion-based action is.

 

[Kastor]

The OP should be clarified to state that it's an honest description of an ENFP male. Even though Fi has been the forum hot-topic lately, in this case I'd say it's Ne guided by Fi that is the star of the show. There is a clear desire to not be confined, regardless of how responsible or irresponsible the emotion-based action is.

Yeah, I got the same impression.

 

[JoSunshine]

Something in me has been sparked recently on this forum. And im tired of hearing about all the jokes and crap about NFs. This is to give you an idea of how me, Hexis, lives as an NF male and how I truly think. I would like opinions and discussion after you've read the following. The more you are offended by something in the following the more I want your opinion.


I'm an in NF no doubt about it. But in no way do I "feel" for animals who are abused, the poor, starving kids, the homeless, or those less fortunate than me. I like guns, like shooting them and better yet killing and eating an animal I just shot. I dont get teary eyed when I hear about your sap stories. I like using terms that others would find inappropriate to refer to parties of individuals who piss me off. I believe in an eye for an eye. I like fighting with my fists. A normal conversation with my mother includes enough swearing to make a sailor blush. If you offended me in person I would be just as liable to hit you as to call you down. I would be offended if you didnt stand up to me when I offended you. I take pride in being called bronze over brains. The sound of a Harley driving by or a colt .45 going off gets me just as excited as a chick moaning. Porn that a feminist has said personally to be demeaning to women I give five stars. Im offended when women get upset cause they think they should be on equal footing with a man in an MC. I feel women are better fit to be in the kitchen and bringing me a beer but im not against having a sugar momma who wants me at home to take care of the kids. Sup motherfucker is hello for my friends. Hello or hey is for people I dont like. I think of vegetarians as worthless ****ies even though my ex is one now my opinion altered accordingly. I dont do charity cause I believe the people asking for it are scamming me. If I owned a non profit organization my first goal on the agenda would be how to ring a profit out of it. I get pissed when a girl is slandered for having more sexual partners than me, id still hit it. I go for my knife when some bum asks me for change. The sight of kids playing makes me happy. I feel spanking as well as physical training are great motivators for kids. I feel religion is a waste of time. I respect those who can devote their lives to a singular belief. Im offended by those who believe its ok to push their beliefs on others. And I dont like people when I first meet them.

Discuss.

 

[runvardh]

I guess I'll pull this up again:

I am both the child in the bed and the monster under it. I walk this line not only to protect myself from the world; but the world from myself, as well.

I don't have the same reaction as Hexis does to gunfire; but I like the look of guns and I do enjoy witnessing destructive power - guns and explosives. It makes me laugh and smile, as long as no one is getting hurt... eh, I suppose certain situations when someone is getting hurt I'll laugh too. For me, killing an animal is just business - food. Killing another person would require the necessity, which I haven't had to deal with yet.

 

[Tallulah]

The OP isn't offensive to me so much as it tells me, "This dude is kind of a tool. Avoid." HOWEVER, your responses throughout the thread reveal a much more complex and interesting individual. It's like in proving that you're not an NF stereotype, you are making yourself sound like the ubermasculine/redneck-y stereotype. I don't think you're either, for the record. Why not just be who you are and not worry about proving or disproving things about NFs? Why be so invested in trying to offend people or their values? (I KILL 'EM AND EAT 'EM! I CUSS AT MY MOM! SCREW YOU!!!)

 

[Hexis]

The OP isn't offensive to me so much as it tells me, "This dude is kind of a tool. Avoid." HOWEVER, your responses throughout the thread reveal a much more complex and interesting individual. It's like in proving that you're not an NF stereotype, you are making yourself sound like the ubermasculine/redneck-y stereotype. I don't think you're either, for the record. Why not just be who you are and not worry about proving or disproving things about NFs? Why be so invested in trying to offend people or their values? (I KILL 'EM AND EAT 'EM! I CUSS AT MY MOM! SCREW YOU!!!)

If it helps for clarification I was drunk when I posted the OP and was in a bit of an unstable emotional state. So I figured what better time than now.

 

[Salomé]

It's like in proving that you're not an NF stereotype, you are making yourself sound like the ubermasculine/redneck-y stereotype.

I know. He gets his panties in a wad over all the people who stereotype NF men as "feminine". Then proceeds to insult his entire gender with neolithic ideas about what maketh a man.

Gotta love the irony.

 

[Stanton Moore]

Just gotta say, this is a description of one NF male; it in no way defines the type anymore than moon beams and unicorns do.


and btw, he lives in Texas.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Just gotta say, this is a description of one NF male; it in no way defines the type anymore than moon beams and unicorns do.


and btw, he lives in Texas.

What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?

 

[PeaceBaby]

When it comes down to it your description of me does get my blood boiling but there's nothing I can say cause on some level all of it is true.

I wanted to shake you a little to get the next part out. My assessment wasn't intended to diminish you.

If anything those traits dont make me feel manly at all. Possibly why I act out on them so much cause they don't do exactly what they should for me. If anything its like just temporarily plugging up the hole that is myself.

Exactly. You're right, they don't provide a solid starting point from which to know yourself. If anything, I suspect you rail against these very stereotypes you claim define you in this post, or in this case, define the NF male. Are you realizing they are only constructs, only a backdrop to life, and that you can build your own house or paint your own picture as long as you embrace the fact that you personally and your world are affected by your impassioned exploration? And I sense you certainly thrust yourself into life headlong, and then try to reconstruct meaning from whichever way the pieces hit the ground.

It's more about coming to terms with how intensely you feel, how out of control it seems to you at this point in your life. Making that fire within fit into a definition of manliness that reconciles with what a man is supposed to be or care about. Once you get in better touch with your own feelings, you will gain greater control over them, and you will find a greater awareness about your mission in life and in who you are. Sit for a minute and be quiet with them.. Let them envelop you instead of rushing to disperse them with action. You'll start to find peace of mind, or at least a clarity that will help you bridge this gap inside yourself.

Sending you more for being you.

 

[Kastor]

What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?

You kind of get tired of people assuming that you're a fluffball lol

 

[Sniffles]

What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?

It does get pathetic at times. That or wailing about hurting other peoples feelings and all that other fluff. I'm NF, and even I want to vomit at times.

 

[simulatedworld]

What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?

It does get pathetic at times. That or wailing about hurting other peoples feelings and all that other fluff. I'm NF, and even I want to vomit at times.

I think the NF stereotypes in question are mostly applicable to NFPs. I simply don't see NFJs exhibiting them very often at all.

 

[Southern Kross]

Hell, I'm offended by the stereotypes of NF females. It's just... wow. Sugar-coated to the extreme.

I hate them too. The INFP female stereotypes are particularly alienating to me. I find all that cutsie-cutsie bullshit rather patronizing. I can actually be in touch with my feelings without being naive, pathetic, ignorant, irrational and saccharine. :rolli:

 

[Kastor]

I hate them too. The INFP female stereotypes are particularly alienating to me. I find all that cutsie-cutsie bullshit rather patronizing. I can actually be in touch with my feelings without being naive, pathetic, ignorant, irrational and saccharine. :rolli:

Yeah, I totally get that. I end up relating more to INFP guys than anything :/

 

[kyuuei]

Ya'll are frustrated with NF Male stereotypes?.. I'm bombarded with them as well, only they go way beyond just type.

I've been giving a lot of thought to how I would answer this.. But I think Hexis pretty much wrote what I was going to write.

I think you have no clue who *you* are. You know what makes you happy.. you're not aware of WHY it does. You attribute it to "being a man" because it's the easiest path (Bonus: Society does the same thing as a whole, so to society it also makes sense.. which only furthers guiding you down the easiest path.) The problem is.. you're always taking the easier path when it comes to things that define who you are.

The result is.. when you're trying to describe yourself, you're using a lot of examples and society-based stereotypes. It's all you know, because you've clung close to them. (How I would describe you would involve none of the things you typed, for example. I'd paint an entirely different picture.. one you may not like, but to me would be accurate being your IRL friend.) There's nothing wrong with that by itself, the problem is I don't think it's making you happy. I think you're frustrated and angry with everything because you have no idea how to react.. you don't know who you are, so you don't know how you truly feel on anything.

I'm not going to lie.. I fear your enlistment. The military changes everyone.. it's impossible to not be changed somehow by it. It's not always a good change. I suspect... you'll end up with more contempt for civilians than you already have. (Most military people get frustrated with civilians..) I also suspect your respect for women will continue to deteriorate. You want to learn to pull women up on the same level with you.. and I think that's noble. But the problem is, you won't come into contact with any of them. Military personnel, and the military lifestyle, have a way of segregating women, diminishing them as "females" instead of "soldiers/people". They're always females first. Always. I think if you go into the service.. unless you do some really hard soul-searching now on where you stand with women.. your opinion of them won't ever change. In that.. I think you'll have a hard time finding a mate. I have a theory that people who cannot respect something cannot love it. (You respect weaponry.. and thus you love it and admire it. Your love for it never fades. Whereas.. even though you had an affection for your cat, you did not respect it, and thus love wasn't there for it. It'd wane, come and go, fade.. it wasn't strong.)

I think once you do some real soul searching.. looking for what makes a man who he is, instead of the things that stereotypically correspond to it, you'll find that many of the stereotypes for NFs will roll off your back like water. If you heard a stereotype that all ducks love chicken. You would think it silly, at best, if you thought on it at all.. it's comparing apples to oranges, if it's not an outright lie.

I understand the stereotypes are grating on the soul. But you, too, rely on stereotypes. It's hard to complain about something you're readily willing to give into and use yourself. The best thing to do would be to pull the stereotypes, all of them, out of the way. And look for Why, instead of What.

 

[Lady_X]

interesting thread....it's funny...i think a lot of fi users resist being put into some category...you're an f so you must be this way...screw that. we're individualistic and we're passionate but that doesn't mean we're all big fluffy warm hearted love everybody people all the time. we may react emotionally to things that resonate with us...but people get the wrong idea or make false assumptions a lot based on our fness.

 

[Qre:us]

Ya'll are frustrated with NF Male stereotypes?.. I'm bombarded with them as well, only they go way beyond just type.

I've been giving a lot of thought to how I would answer this.. But I think Hexis pretty much wrote what I was going to write.

I think you have no clue who *you* are. You know what makes you happy.. you're not aware of WHY it does. You attribute it to "being a man" because it's the easiest path (Bonus: Society does the same thing as a whole, so to society it also makes sense.. which only furthers guiding you down the easiest path.) The problem is.. you're always taking the easier path when it comes to things that define who you are.

The result is.. when you're trying to describe yourself, you're using a lot of examples and society-based stereotypes. It's all you know, because you've clung close to them. (How I would describe you would involve none of the things you typed, for example. I'd paint an entirely different picture.. one you may not like, but to me would be accurate being your IRL friend.) There's nothing wrong with that by itself, the problem is I don't think it's making you happy. I think you're frustrated and angry with everything because you have no idea how to react.. you don't know who you are, so you don't know how you truly feel on anything.

I'm not going to lie.. I fear your enlistment. The military changes everyone.. it's impossible to not be changed somehow by it. It's not always a good change. I suspect... you'll end up with more contempt for civilians than you already have. (Most military people get frustrated with civilians..) I also suspect your respect for women will continue to deteriorate. You want to learn to pull women up on the same level with you.. and I think that's noble. But the problem is, you won't come into contact with any of them. Military personnel, and the military lifestyle, have a way of segregating women, diminishing them as "females" instead of "soldiers/people". They're always females first. Always. I think if you go into the service.. unless you do some really hard soul-searching now on where you stand with women.. your opinion of them won't ever change. In that.. I think you'll have a hard time finding a mate. I have a theory that people who cannot respect something cannot love it. (You respect weaponry.. and thus you love it and admire it. Your love for it never fades. Whereas.. even though you had an affection for your cat, you did not respect it, and thus love wasn't there for it. It'd wane, come and go, fade.. it wasn't strong.)

I think once you do some real soul searching.. looking for what makes a man who he is, instead of the things that stereotypically correspond to it, you'll find that many of the stereotypes for NFs will roll off your back like water. If you heard a stereotype that all ducks love chicken. You would think it silly, at best, if you thought on it at all.. it's comparing apples to oranges, if it's not an outright lie.

I understand the stereotypes are grating on the soul. But you, too, rely on stereotypes. It's hard to complain about something you're readily willing to give into and use yourself. The best thing to do would be to pull the stereotypes, all of them, out of the way. And look for Why, instead of What.

I really liked this post in response to the OP. Obviously, it helps that you know him as a friend IRL. But, you hit upon a lot of truths. In particular, I completely agree with this sentiment of yours:

I have a theory that people who cannot respect something cannot love it.

And, this includes loving oneself as well. First we must respect the being (acknowledging, understanding and allowing its existence in the form that it does), in order to feel any deeper affection for it, such as love. And, not manufactured respect either, but honest-to-goodness respect (which includes a good dose of humility).