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  1. #51
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    Just gotta say, this is a description of one NF male; it in no way defines the type anymore than moon beams and unicorns do.


    and btw, he lives in Texas.
    What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?

    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #52
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexis View Post
    When it comes down to it your description of me does get my blood boiling but there's nothing I can say cause on some level all of it is true.
    I wanted to shake you a little to get the next part out. My assessment wasn't intended to diminish you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hexis View Post
    If anything those traits dont make me feel manly at all. Possibly why I act out on them so much cause they don't do exactly what they should for me. If anything its like just temporarily plugging up the hole that is myself.
    Exactly. You're right, they don't provide a solid starting point from which to know yourself. If anything, I suspect you rail against these very stereotypes you claim define you in this post, or in this case, define the NF male. Are you realizing they are only constructs, only a backdrop to life, and that you can build your own house or paint your own picture as long as you embrace the fact that you personally and your world are affected by your impassioned exploration? And I sense you certainly thrust yourself into life headlong, and then try to reconstruct meaning from whichever way the pieces hit the ground.

    It's more about coming to terms with how intensely you feel, how out of control it seems to you at this point in your life. Making that fire within fit into a definition of manliness that reconciles with what a man is supposed to be or care about. Once you get in better touch with your own feelings, you will gain greater control over them, and you will find a greater awareness about your mission in life and in who you are. Sit for a minute and be quiet with them.. Let them envelop you instead of rushing to disperse them with action. You'll start to find peace of mind, or at least a clarity that will help you bridge this gap inside yourself.

    Sending you more for being you.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  3. #53
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?

    You kind of get tired of people assuming that you're a fluffball lol
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?

    It does get pathetic at times. That or wailing about hurting other peoples feelings and all that other fluff. I'm NF, and even I want to vomit at times.

  5. #55
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    What is it with you NF's and trying to stay away from stereotyping, but almost always fall victim of making a stereotype almost at the same time?




    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    It does get pathetic at times. That or wailing about hurting other peoples feelings and all that other fluff. I'm NF, and even I want to vomit at times.
    I think the NF stereotypes in question are mostly applicable to NFPs. I simply don't see NFJs exhibiting them very often at all.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #56
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kastor View Post
    Hell, I'm offended by the stereotypes of NF females. It's just... wow. Sugar-coated to the extreme.
    I hate them too. The INFP female stereotypes are particularly alienating to me. I find all that cutsie-cutsie bullshit rather patronizing. I can actually be in touch with my feelings without being naive, pathetic, ignorant, irrational and saccharine. :rolli:

  7. #57
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I hate them too. The INFP female stereotypes are particularly alienating to me. I find all that cutsie-cutsie bullshit rather patronizing. I can actually be in touch with my feelings without being naive, pathetic, ignorant, irrational and saccharine. :rolli:
    Yeah, I totally get that. I end up relating more to INFP guys than anything :/
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

  8. #58
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Ya'll are frustrated with NF Male stereotypes?.. I'm bombarded with them as well, only they go way beyond just type.

    I've been giving a lot of thought to how I would answer this.. But I think Hexis pretty much wrote what I was going to write.

    I think you have no clue who *you* are. You know what makes you happy.. you're not aware of WHY it does. You attribute it to "being a man" because it's the easiest path (Bonus: Society does the same thing as a whole, so to society it also makes sense.. which only furthers guiding you down the easiest path.) The problem is.. you're always taking the easier path when it comes to things that define who you are.

    The result is.. when you're trying to describe yourself, you're using a lot of examples and society-based stereotypes. It's all you know, because you've clung close to them. (How I would describe you would involve none of the things you typed, for example. I'd paint an entirely different picture.. one you may not like, but to me would be accurate being your IRL friend.) There's nothing wrong with that by itself, the problem is I don't think it's making you happy. I think you're frustrated and angry with everything because you have no idea how to react.. you don't know who you are, so you don't know how you truly feel on anything.

    I'm not going to lie.. I fear your enlistment. The military changes everyone.. it's impossible to not be changed somehow by it. It's not always a good change. I suspect... you'll end up with more contempt for civilians than you already have. (Most military people get frustrated with civilians..) I also suspect your respect for women will continue to deteriorate. You want to learn to pull women up on the same level with you.. and I think that's noble. But the problem is, you won't come into contact with any of them. Military personnel, and the military lifestyle, have a way of segregating women, diminishing them as "females" instead of "soldiers/people". They're always females first. Always. I think if you go into the service.. unless you do some really hard soul-searching now on where you stand with women.. your opinion of them won't ever change. In that.. I think you'll have a hard time finding a mate. I have a theory that people who cannot respect something cannot love it. (You respect weaponry.. and thus you love it and admire it. Your love for it never fades. Whereas.. even though you had an affection for your cat, you did not respect it, and thus love wasn't there for it. It'd wane, come and go, fade.. it wasn't strong.)

    I think once you do some real soul searching.. looking for what makes a man who he is, instead of the things that stereotypically correspond to it, you'll find that many of the stereotypes for NFs will roll off your back like water. If you heard a stereotype that all ducks love chicken. You would think it silly, at best, if you thought on it at all.. it's comparing apples to oranges, if it's not an outright lie.

    I understand the stereotypes are grating on the soul. But you, too, rely on stereotypes. It's hard to complain about something you're readily willing to give into and use yourself. The best thing to do would be to pull the stereotypes, all of them, out of the way. And look for Why, instead of What.
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  9. #59
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    interesting thread....it's funny...i think a lot of fi users resist being put into some category...you're an f so you must be this way...screw that. we're individualistic and we're passionate but that doesn't mean we're all big fluffy warm hearted love everybody people all the time. we may react emotionally to things that resonate with us...but people get the wrong idea or make false assumptions a lot based on our fness.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #60
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Ya'll are frustrated with NF Male stereotypes?.. I'm bombarded with them as well, only they go way beyond just type.

    I've been giving a lot of thought to how I would answer this.. But I think Hexis pretty much wrote what I was going to write.

    I think you have no clue who *you* are. You know what makes you happy.. you're not aware of WHY it does. You attribute it to "being a man" because it's the easiest path (Bonus: Society does the same thing as a whole, so to society it also makes sense.. which only furthers guiding you down the easiest path.) The problem is.. you're always taking the easier path when it comes to things that define who you are.

    The result is.. when you're trying to describe yourself, you're using a lot of examples and society-based stereotypes. It's all you know, because you've clung close to them. (How I would describe you would involve none of the things you typed, for example. I'd paint an entirely different picture.. one you may not like, but to me would be accurate being your IRL friend.) There's nothing wrong with that by itself, the problem is I don't think it's making you happy. I think you're frustrated and angry with everything because you have no idea how to react.. you don't know who you are, so you don't know how you truly feel on anything.

    I'm not going to lie.. I fear your enlistment. The military changes everyone.. it's impossible to not be changed somehow by it. It's not always a good change. I suspect... you'll end up with more contempt for civilians than you already have. (Most military people get frustrated with civilians..) I also suspect your respect for women will continue to deteriorate. You want to learn to pull women up on the same level with you.. and I think that's noble. But the problem is, you won't come into contact with any of them. Military personnel, and the military lifestyle, have a way of segregating women, diminishing them as "females" instead of "soldiers/people". They're always females first. Always. I think if you go into the service.. unless you do some really hard soul-searching now on where you stand with women.. your opinion of them won't ever change. In that.. I think you'll have a hard time finding a mate. I have a theory that people who cannot respect something cannot love it. (You respect weaponry.. and thus you love it and admire it. Your love for it never fades. Whereas.. even though you had an affection for your cat, you did not respect it, and thus love wasn't there for it. It'd wane, come and go, fade.. it wasn't strong.)

    I think once you do some real soul searching.. looking for what makes a man who he is, instead of the things that stereotypically correspond to it, you'll find that many of the stereotypes for NFs will roll off your back like water. If you heard a stereotype that all ducks love chicken. You would think it silly, at best, if you thought on it at all.. it's comparing apples to oranges, if it's not an outright lie.

    I understand the stereotypes are grating on the soul. But you, too, rely on stereotypes. It's hard to complain about something you're readily willing to give into and use yourself. The best thing to do would be to pull the stereotypes, all of them, out of the way. And look for Why, instead of What.
    I really liked this post in response to the OP. Obviously, it helps that you know him as a friend IRL. But, you hit upon a lot of truths. In particular, I completely agree with this sentiment of yours:

    I have a theory that people who cannot respect something cannot love it.
    And, this includes loving oneself as well. First we must respect the being (acknowledging, understanding and allowing its existence in the form that it does), in order to feel any deeper affection for it, such as love. And, not manufactured respect either, but honest-to-goodness respect (which includes a good dose of humility).

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