Really stressed INFJs either become kinda mean or they can be rather odd and persnickity.
Aphrodite, I didnt quote but could you be using Fe to manage the household? I am going to comment on the ISFJs in a sec, but they use Fe like Te to run organizations.
Jen, I have been watching two male ISFJs lately. They are horrific. This seems odd to me as I have multliple INFJs who are actually quite good. The Ni-Si diff is striking here.
Both of these men will use Fe to "feel" like Te and control others. It works very well on Fe users, even EXTPs. People get a sense or caring and logical competence from them. They can organize effectively to a localized extent. On the surface they are very impressive and poised. They are horrifically nonlogical.
One seems to live in his own little universe. You bring him new information about how things are doomed to fail, and he just says, well we need to work harder as a team and I am sure these things will work out and smiles. Any mention of problems is considered negative. He actively avoids people who disrupt harmony-ie mention reality. This guy is at a breaking point though, so this Si-Ti linkage is very pronounced.
What is extraordinarily scary about both of these guys is what they say-it changes everytime you talk to them, depending on who you are. And they dont seem to recognize it changed. So they say different things to different people, and everyone trusts them, until the entire system implodes upon itself.