i'll start out by saying that two of my best friends are INFJs; the guy is also one of my best friends, but i get shyer around him. i have a way of coaxing out his inner extroversion, but i can never combat his stubbornness. his smile just makes me melt, i guess.
anyway, so i've liked this guy for a while and he is one of my best friends. he means a lot to me, and i know i mean a lot to him at least as a friend. a couple months ago the topic of us dating came up, and he told me that he didn't want a relationship. the topic came up again recently, and now i'm really confused.
basically, he has been hurt a lot in the past. his first girlfriend didn't take their relationship seriously, and it was more casual than serious for her, and it was very serious for him. she ended it with essentially no warning and nothing to ease the blow, and he was very hurt for a very long time after their breakup. he made a plan on what he wanted to do with his life, and dated one "distraction" girl after, who he's on really good terms with now.
he told me that he basically had a plan for his life, and asked me how i would feel about going into that plan....living the places he wants to live, future plans, etc. i basically told him everything that he wanted, and he told me that he knew i was perfect for him. this is where the problem comes in though, because his exgirlfriend contacted him recently and wants to "talk things out," which he obviously fell for.
he told me that he wasn't sure about what he wants to do and the only conclusive thing he can tell me is that he's sticking with his logic of "not wanting to get hurt" and pursuing relationships when he has a safe environment of getting hurt in; ie, no family problems or other issues to backlash his own problems if he does get hurt. i'm pretty sure he does like me, because i feel like he would've completely debunked the topic otherwise.
in general, he tends not to initiate this topic too much. i know he thinks about it, but he doesn't seem to initiate much in general with me to hang out, etc. but he doesn't really initiate with anyone, so i don't know. i told him to talk to me about this, and a week later, i had to bring it up.
so typology kids, i want your opinion; how do i pursue this, what outcomes do you think will come of this, and is this worth holding onto? i mean, i'm probably going to date other guys in the meanwhile while he figures his stuff out, but i'm just really confused as to what he wants, and what's probably going to happen. help!