[NF] Journaling

[cascadeco]

Are there many other NF journalers out there?? (or hey, non-NF-er's too?

I started journaling while I was in college, although my college entries were few and far between, and usually amounted to summaries of semesters, or 'highlights' of what had been going on.

I really dove into journaling on a regular basis post-college, beginning in 2000, and have continued fairly consistently/regularly since then. I probably have about 10 completed journals at this point. I began doing it as a way to 'document' my life, because I figured I'd forget a lot of the stuff as I got older, and that it might be fun to revisit the stuff and remember what I was doing X month of X year, and where my mental/emotional state was at that time. However, I find that it has turned out that it's more something I just DO to 'release' my thoughts; it can be clarifying for me. And often-times, I have no desire to go back in time and read about where I was at.

But at times, I do want to look something up, if I've forgotten a detail about something in the past that I'm curious about, and when I HAVE re-read what I've written, I've had either two reactions: either I laugh at how I used to be and how I used to think (example - in the short time period of a few yrs in college where I totally turned S in an attempt to ditch my N. , OR more often than not, how I truly haven't changed. ;-)

Like I was just re-reading parts of a journal from 6-7 yrs ago, and I'm pretty much exactly the same, deep down, as I was then. I still revisit the same themes ad-nauseum. I optimistically hope I'll eventually stop the circle of revisiting the same stuff, but at this point I'm thinking it's doubtful? :rolli:

My themes that I can't seem to get away from:

*Life purpose being in question, and confusion on what I want out of life
*Loneliness, feeling disconnected from others, not knowing 'how' to bring people into my life, and craving those connections
*Being emotional and desiring to be less so and desiring to be more 'stable' in the grounded, practical sense
*The Job Issue
*Self-growth
*Self-questioning

That sorta stuff. It's a good reminder to me (although at the same time kinda lame ) that I'm the same ME I've always been (so at least I'm consistent? , but at the same time, it kinda blows that I'm still revisiting the same stuff, so it would appear I haven't made any longterm headway. It makes me question my ability to grow as a person!!

So --> Any other journalers out there? Any patterns/insights you've found out about yourself through your journaling? What are your reasons for journaling?

 

[Atomic Fiend]

I actually started journaling June or July, and not unlike your first journal my entries are sparse, usually stories of how a year of class went, current and past loves, ideas, venting, and things of the such. Since It's my personal thoughts in written form I'm also very careful of what I write in it.

 

[Sandy]

I use to when I was younger. I have lost a lot of my journals. That really bugs me, because I think someone may have them. Who though?

I would like to start again at some point.

 

[GZA]

I did once when I went on vacation. It was only two weeks, a couple of months ago. I've read it a few times, its really interesting. I also tried some kind of experimental language and descriptive styles, sometimes effectively, sometimes not. Sometime si read these odd descriptions and I remember the feeling, but the words themselves don't totally fit it.

 

[Sandy]

A while back, I pulled out some of my remaining journals, and when I was going through my rough periods, it's as though I was re-experiencing every feeling as if it JUST happened (very painful). Strange...

 

[OctaviaCaesar]

I have been keeping a journal regularly for nine years. Some periods of my life are too painful for me to remember and reread through, others are too full of boring details that I will no doubt find hilarious someday.

Currently I am using my journal simply as a place to dream of the future without recording daily details and ramblings.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

This is something I really want to do, but am so lazy with. I've gotten spurts here and there ever since middle school where I'll keep a journal for a couple months, and then just stop making time for it. I have, however, kept up decently well with online journals. I write in there either to update friends or when something's bothering me so much I just have to write it out.

I'm at an off period right now, though I have been keeping a dream journal. For awhile it was really helping me, but lately the dreams have become very long and complex and any attempt at interpretation gets jumbled.

 

[nightning]

Are there many other NF journalers out there?? (or hey, non-NF-er's too?

My journaling is sporatic, but sure I do it too.

My themes that I can't seem to get away from:

*Life purpose being in question, and confusion on what I want out of life
*Loneliness, feeling disconnected from others, not knowing 'how' to bring people into my life, and craving those connections
*Being emotional and desiring to be less so and desiring to be more 'stable' in the grounded, practical sense
*The Job Issue
*Self-growth
*Self-questioning

I write about all of the above... also sometimes on the stuff I read or have heard about. I've came up with some pretty wild theories while journaling. But most of it is nonsense that helps me "re-experience" emotions... lack of Si

 

[arcticangel02]

I don't have the dedication to write any sort of journal for more than a few days, maybe weeks at a time. I've started a few, and they all seem to have been abandoned after a couple entries. (Though I did successfully maintain a journal for a couple of trips I did. ) My writing style is always verbose and very very descriptive, with pretty much anything I noticed or thought about or did that day getting described in detail. Along with all my feelings about said thing. I can't write briefly - that would totally circumvent the purpose of the journal in the first place, but the time and energy it takes me to write an entry is almost always too much, and ends up causing me to abandon it.

Or, alternatively, my ordinary day to day life is too mundane to bother writing about, so I don't.

But I really do enjoy looking back at what I've written. It really is like experiencing it again. And since I'm almost always happy and chirpy (or if not, amusingly annoyed), it's quite enjoyable to do so.

As far as having changed, I don't think I have, really. I've always been a lot more outgoing and exciteable in my writing, and it's only now that my external self is slowly catching up.

I would really like to have, like, a personal journaler, who writes down all the thoughts in my mind and experiences I have and commits them to paper. That would be cool.

 

[helen]

I pretty much always have had a notebook on hand to scribble in ever since I was ten. I've filled something like 24 journals by now (I'm 22). I use my journals basically either to vent or to sort out my thoughts on things, and I have written lots of notes to self about purpose and how to better live up to my ideals and stuff. They are also liberally scattered with to do lists, priority lists, shopping lists, etc., and random bits of quotes, Bible verses, and poems. I don't focus at all on the quality of my writing when I journal, and thus they are unliterary and make for really dull reading, even for me. I almost think of journaling as I practice it, as a bad habit, or neutral at best, but it's just become so central to my thought processes that I don't care to shake it. My journals don't represent me very accurately, so it's not like I'm producing something of any value for my descendants. Every so often I think I should just throw them out, but I haven't been able to bring myself to. Anyway, I have certain fondness for them, and they do provide a kind of personal record that I might like to look back on when I'm an old lady.

So yeah, journaling for me is a love/hate kind of thing. But I'll probably keep it up diligently till the day I die. It's second nature by now.