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  1. #1
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    Default developing Fi / vital for enfp

    i'm going to be blunt with this. i know many enfps irl & they come across as being hot messes. they have lots of drama in their love relationships, they still smoke weed, they make inappropriate fart jokes & sex jokes & burp & don't care, they hit on their friends boyfriends (and the male ones hit on me even though i test them & tell them to their faces that they have the polar opposite characteristics of what i find attractive in a male) behind their friends backs, overall they seem immature, silly, childish, irresponsible, lazy & not really that intelligent - more like airheads. OK maybe i'm exaggerating a little, but i feel i have to be extreme because i don't know how they they could be in in their late 20's early 30's & still be so far behind.

    My theory is that they must must must develop Fi. they must say no no no to going out for drinks & they should stay home as much as possible & read / journal / reflect . . . they must face their pain, their lonliness, their anxiety & the only way to do this is to stop moving, stop going, stop drinking, stop smoking . . . but yeah - what are some good ways to develop Fi? and if an enfp were to not leave the house for 1 year (except for work & other mandatory obligations) would they accelerate the process of developing Fi?

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    You can be immature, silly, childish, irresponsible, lazy, and unintelligent and still have well-developed Fi.

    Fi is Fi, it's not excellence.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    You can be immature, silly, childish, irresponsible, lazy, and unintelligent and still have well-developed Fi.

    Fi is Fi, it's not excellence.
    you're right. but don't you think an enfp with well developed Fi is going to make less stupid mistakes? (keep in mind i am an enfp so i have alot of paranoia / projection going on here )

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Using Fi does not mean you will make objectively right decisions, but underdeveloped Fi could certainly give lend to a lack of its employment when making decisions.

  5. #5
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    You can be immature, silly, childish, irresponsible, lazy, and unintelligent and still have well-developed Fi.

    Fi is Fi, it's not excellence.
    Perfectly true.

    But the general theory is generally the challenge for healthy development is avoiding over-dependence on your primary function by developing and exercising your secondary function (although you primary function always remains your primary).

    So for an more balanced ENFP, Fi provides a counter-balance to Ne. Ne on it's own can lead to continually bouncing from one new possibility to the next.

    For an INFP, Ne provides a broader perspective and awareness of external possibilities. Over reliance on Fi can lead to internal obsessing and continual inaction.

    Later addition:

    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Using Fi does not mean you will make objectively right decisions, but underdeveloped Fi could certainly give lend to a lack of its employment when making decisions.
    Exactly. Sorry, I wrote the above before you posted again.

  6. #6
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    i'm going to be blunt with this. i know many enfps irl & they come across as being hot messes. they have lots of drama in their love relationships, they still smoke weed, they make inappropriate fart jokes & sex jokes & burp & don't care, they hit on their friends boyfriends (and the male ones hit on me even though i test them & tell them to their faces that they have the polar opposite characteristics of what i find attractive in a male) behind their friends backs, overall they seem immature, silly, childish, irresponsible, lazy & not really that intelligent - more like airheads. OK maybe i'm exaggerating a little, but i feel i have to be extreme because i don't know how they they could be in in their late 20's early 30's & still be so far behind.
    Ummm, the bolded above does not equal hot mess...it's personality and preference for certain substances.

    How many ENFPs do you know? You may be wrongly typing some of these people - they could be ESFPs too!

    In the event you have correctly typed them all as ENFPs, yes I would agree that better developed Fi helps and is a sign of maturity.

    The people you've described sound more like Enneagram 7s which would be from across types...you could suggest some Enneagram books to them. They have suggestions in there for moving up in health levels.

    You can't really convince someone to face their anything unless they want to do so themselves.


    if an enfp were to not leave the house for 1 year (except for work & other mandatory obligations) would they accelerate the process of developing Fi?
    No. They're extroverts, remember? Slowly the batteries would lose charge and eventually just die. No ENFPs left

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    Perfectly true.

    But the general theory is generally the challenge for healthy development is avoiding over-dependence on your primary function by developing and exercising your secondary function (although you primary function always remains your primary).

    So for an more balanced ENFP, Fi provides a counter-balance to Ne. Ne on it's own can lead to continually bouncing from one new possibility to the next.

    For an INFP, Ne provides a broader perspective and awareness of external possibilities. Over reliance on Fi can lead to internal obsessing and continual inaction.

    Later addition:



    Exactly. Sorry, I wrote the above before you post again.
    this is excellent, very helpful. so what are some good ways for an enfp to develop & exercise their Fi? i am obsessed with this topic, i apologize- i actually lived like a hermit for a year in attempts to accelerate my Fi - - i can't tell if my Fi is well developed or not . . . i feel like it has to be nourished / cultivated / maintained on a daily basis . . . or it could slowly slip away overtime & that terrifies me.

  8. #8
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Well, I think that Fi is always there, but needs the help of Ne and Te to ground it.

    For example, immature Fi would seem irrational and blind to outsiders. It needs to be guided and tamed by the ENFP's extraverted (objective) functions.

  9. #9
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I think when you say 'well developed Fi' you mean well-developed moral/value system which considers other people. It also means balancing Ne with a judging function (which I think is Fi...) so that you aren't just exploding Fi and goofiness everywhere but you think a little more about how appropriate you are being and how you are affecting others.

    I think ENFP as a type can really sum up the annoying adolescent. Actually, so does ESTP and ENTP. You know, kids who run around being loud and obnoxious. So maybe you are mistyping these ENFPs because they are annoying, not the other way around. They shouldn't be *that* common.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  10. #10
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    You can be immature, silly, childish, irresponsible, lazy, and unintelligent and still have well-developed Fi.

    Fi is Fi, it's not excellence.
    I assumed by developing Fi the OP meant promoting a relatively healthy Fi which balances dominant Ne. "Well-developed" usually implies positive advancement....

    I think it's probably more likely for extroverts to have less "mature" auxiliary functions than for introverts because introverts are forced to extrovert in life, but introversion is not forced on extroverts as much.

    Much introspection is required for Fi to do it's thing well, so I think the OP has some good ideas. A pause in seeking out possibilities and novelties to sort them & evaluate is definitely needed.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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