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  1. #11
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    You start by getting a baseline. Watching how others interact, and respond to each other. You notice how different personalities have different priorities and how those clash and harmonize with other people's priorities. And from that, you can ask yourself the question how you as a person fit into that system. What's important to you? What do you prioritize? How do you feel about the situation they're debating? Without having to tell them about it, just ask yourself that. How come it differs from the other person's pov? Can you see where they're coming from? And why they are thinking differently about it than you? This will allow you to sharpen and outline your values more and pinpoint what value is important in which situation and when it can take a backseat. And it will give you security in the fact that those are in fact values you want to stand up for, and at the same time give you the insight you need in others to value what they are standing up for. Your emotional responses triggered by insecurity and self-doubt will lessen and you'll be more understanding to others, more accomodating without forgetting who you are and what your priorities are.

    All of this takes a lot of time and effort. But it's worth it. Good luck to you
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #12
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Much introspection is required for Fi to do it's thing well, so I think the OP has some good ideas. A pause in seeking out possibilities and novelties to sort them & evaluate is definitely needed.
    agree completely.

    Fi helps enfps know what is actually important to them. it takes a lot of effort and energy to prioritize, weigh, and, ultimately, make your decisions. decisions are excruciating. without accessing Fi and developing it, cultivating values, etc, enfps often end up wasting much potential. those who develop it are able to resonate with others so easily, effortlessly, and naturally, and give them what they need without breaking a sweat. they're able to inspire others, give them a bit of lift, etc.

    i have an enfp friend who is at this stage and knows she needs something but doesn't know what.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I can't help but notice that I appear to have a much more developed Fi than most ENFPs mentioned in the stories posted on these forums.

    Call me arrogant, but the reason why I have trouble identifying with other ENFPs I sometimes read about, is because they seem to lack a coherent moral compass...which is pretty much my foundation.

    You can't really be a Champion if you have no well-defined values...what is there to champion exactly?


    I do think developing Fi in a healthy way is important for all ENFPs. It makes you second guess your Ne....which I'm sure most of you would agree...is a very good thing.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    i'm going to be blunt with this. i know many enfps irl & they come across as being hot messes. they have lots of drama in their love relationships, they still smoke weed,
    you sound really judgemental


    they make inappropriate fart jokes & sex jokes & burp & don't care,
    I still make sex jokes, and burped out loud until my mom made me stop...recently in my late twenties. I've never really cared for fart jokes, though.

    they hit on their friends boyfriends (and the male ones hit on me even though i test them & tell them to their faces that they have the polar opposite characteristics of what i find attractive in a male) behind their friends backs,
    I never did this. Not even in high school. Everyone's Fi is different.

    overall they seem immature, silly, childish, irresponsible, lazy & not really that intelligent - more like airheads. OK maybe i'm exaggerating a little, but i feel i have to be extreme because i don't know how they they could be in in their late 20's early 30's & still be so far behind.
    In some ways I feel like I am less mature than other people my age. But mostly I don't give a crap because I'm actually very intelligent and don't have any children who suffer because of it.

    My theory is that they must must must develop Fi. they must say no no no to going out for drinks & they should stay home as much as possible & read / journal / reflect . . . they must face their pain, their lonliness, their anxiety & the only way to do this is to stop moving, stop going, stop drinking, stop smoking . . . but yeah - what are some good ways to develop Fi? and if an enfp were to not leave the house for 1 year (except for work & other mandatory obligations) would they accelerate the process of developing Fi?
    I agree they should probably moderate the smoking and drinking - anyone should, not just ENFPs. But I have very developed Fi, and have as long as I can remember. I and others even thought I was an INFP (Fi DOM!!!) until I learned more about MBTI.

    So, um, yeah. I dunno. Some ENFPs get on my nerves, too. One of my sisters is a lot like what you described, and I think she's just more extroverted and leans slightly more towards sensor than me. That is, my types go:

    1) ENFP (what I really am)
    2) INFP (next greatest possibility)

    and hers go

    1) ENFP (what she really is)
    2) ESFP (next greatest possibility)

    I really don't know what to tell you. We're not all the same, even when we're related.

    Oh...P.S....it is my personal belief that the "airheaded" quality you observe is in ENFPs lacking development in Te, not Fi.

  5. #15
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    this is excellent, very helpful. so what are some good ways for an enfp to develop & exercise their Fi? i am obsessed with this topic, i apologize- i actually lived like a hermit for a year in attempts to accelerate my Fi - - i can't tell if my Fi is well developed or not . . . i feel like it has to be nourished / cultivated / maintained on a daily basis . . . or it could slowly slip away overtime & that terrifies me.
    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Well, I think that Fi is always there, but needs the help of Ne and Te to ground it.

    For example, immature Fi would seem irrational and blind to outsiders. It needs to be guided and tamed by the ENFP's extraverted (objective) functions.
    I think the answer is Si, not Fi. (This is this week's theory...)

    I think the Si allows for to maintain a historical record of where using too much Ne, Fi, or Te or using them out of wack, fucked you over.

    If you live too much in Ne, you never reflect back on the past.
    If you use too much Te you seem mean.
    NeTe together is impatient, can be mean, but can be effective.
    NeFi alone seems very childlike and airheaded, but sweet.

    As I watch my kid-an enfp-he developed Ne at birth, and had a sense of Fi. By eighteen months his Te grew in as severe temper tantrums, anger, rage, and getting kicked out of three daycare centers.

    Not until puberty-12 or so-did Fi really start to finish development. Suddenly he became very caring and sweet. Total airhead but very kind.

    My Fi comes and goes in waves. Somedays I cant find it at all. However Te is always there. I think I skipped that puberty step I have seen my son go through, as I didnt really have people I could trust Fi with. I just made Te stronger and stronger.

    Fi is still very much there, but is like a bucket of molten lava. When it gets out it is kinda messy. It also is exceptionally sensitive. To offer Fi emotional connections to a person is terrifying. To have it rejected, very painful.

    Yet with each round of this offering/rejection I figure out how the cycle works via Te-record via Si-and that eventually the pain and sadness will pass. So each time the pendulum swings less and I remain more centered.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    You start by getting a baseline. Watching how others interact, and respond to each other. You notice how different personalities have different priorities and how those clash and harmonize with other people's priorities. And from that, you can ask yourself the question how you as a person fit into that system. What's important to you? What do you prioritize? How do you feel about the situation they're debating? Without having to tell them about it, just ask yourself that. How come it differs from the other person's pov? Can you see where they're coming from? And why they are thinking differently about it than you? This will allow you to sharpen and outline your values more and pinpoint what value is important in which situation and when it can take a backseat. And it will give you security in the fact that those are in fact values you want to stand up for, and at the same time give you the insight you need in others to value what they are standing up for. Your emotional responses triggered by insecurity and self-doubt will lessen and you'll be more understanding to others, more accomodating without forgetting who you are and what your priorities are.
    This sounds very good-Could the bold be Si, the underlined Te and the italicized Fi? Thus they all work together in unity?

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    you sound really judgemental

    I still make sex jokes, and burped out loud until my mom made me stop...recently in my late twenties. I've never really cared for fart jokes, though.

    Oh...P.S....it is my personal belief that the "airheaded" quality you observe is in ENFPs lacking development in Te, not Fi.
    I make can be quite inappropriate at times-I think this may also be a lack of Fe. Social convention is a odd concept.

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