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  1. #81
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Just listing a few impressions I have had of INFPs before I knew them well:

    Not outwardly ostentatious, which to me reads as self-confident
    Intellectual and/or intellectually curious
    Statements seem genuine, they don't speak without having something to say
    Can be strident about particular causes
    the formless thing which gives things form!
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    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  2. #82
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren View Post
    It has to be done not because you need or want something from the other person (so your motives have to be clear) or because you feel guilty or ashamed, but as an act that says there may be a piece of information I'm missing or that I'm not yet aware of, or I may have inadvertently contributed to the problem, and most importantly, it's not all about me. So, you don't feel like a push over because it's a humble, conscious act of love, a choice. A kind of forgiveness of yourself and the other person for being human, and for me, a flood of memories of the love and friendship the other person had demonstrated time and again that rose to the surface.
    Yeah. The situation is either:

    1) They do wrong to you because they didn't realize it is wrong/will hurt you.

    2) They consciously do wrong.

    3) You thought it is wrong but in fact it isn't. You are hurt for your own problems.

    In the first and the third scenario it is clearly logical to forgive, but the second is more difficult. But even that can be seen as them being weak for they have these impulses to hurt people knowingly. That is a terrible state to be in, as they will screw up most of their relationships eventually. So there is no point going hating them as they are not the ones who have upper hand, though they might seem so. But still, I don't like to hang around with people like that, if I am sure that my view of them is correct. It's a very small group, though.. so it's not too hard to avoid them.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Yeah. The situation is either:

    1) They do wrong to you because they didn't realize it is wrong/will hurt you.

    2) They consciously do wrong.

    3) You thought it is wrong but in fact it isn't. You are hurt for your own problems.

    In the first and the third scenario it is clearly logical to forgive, but the second is more difficult. But even that can be seen as them being weak for they have these impulses to hurt people knowingly. That is a terrible state to be in, as they will screw up most of their relationships eventually. So there is no point going hating them as they are not the ones who have upper hand, though they might seem so. But still, I don't like to hang around with people like that, if I am sure that my view of them is correct. It's a very small group, though.. so it's not too hard to avoid them.
    That second group is the hardest, definitely. I would say there might be a fourth category (related to the first): they hurt you out of an unthinking acting out in a moment of uncertainty or fear (I've been there too).

    To the bolded part: I've worked for a boss and a co-worker who both seemed to intentionally hurt other people. I agree with you: they don't have the upper hand at all; people like this are weak and insecure. And, as far as I can see, they are completely blind to it. They repeat hurtful actions again and again.

  4. #84
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Hmm, I will reply to this through how I've perceived other confirmed INFPs in the past.

    Mostly they frustrate me, because they look like they're thinking deep, serious, dark thoughts and then open their mouths and say something trivial, light-hearted and comical. You don't know whether to push for what you think might be underneath or just take them at face-value. And since I think they're intentionally withholding what they're actually thinking, it tends to makes me assume they're thinking critical (and accurate) thoughts, though that's probably just insecurity.

    If you want to really get to know an INFP you have to be willing to drop your guard first, which is very uncomfortable for me. INFPs are suckers for dropped guards. But generally you have to drop yours first, or at least show intent. Come to think of it, I've never been close friends with another INFP, even though I've gotten on well with all of them. But 4 of the 5 confirmed INFPs I've known irl were painfully hawt girls, and the 5th was a dude 30 years older than me. So that doesn't really help.

  5. #85

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    I'm still uncertain about my J/P preference, but I'll share anyway...

    Hmmmm... I've found people's reaction to me humorous. Mostly on the absurd level. They vary so much. One of my friends said her first reaction to me was that I was intimidating. At first, I annoyed her. She said I was always reading something and deep in thought and when I actually said something it was way over other people's heads. At first, she thought I was pretentious. Then she realized, I really knew what I was talking about. She is great! I love her honesty. She cracks me up.

    Other reactions... One of my friends told me this, "Some people are like an ocean. Their emotions come in waves and they don't last long. Others are like a still lake. They look quiet on the surface, but if you step in, that's when you realize the depth. You are the latter."

    You would think I had a blinking sign on my forehead that said, "Tell me all your problems!" I don't know why, but people will approach me and tell me anything. I love it though. I'm glad when people feel that comfortable around me.

    I had one friend who worked with me to "acknowledge people". Bad habit. If someone walks by me that I know and they are being quiet I naturally assume they want to be left alone. He also made me more aware of the fact that I seemed unaware of my surroundings.

    I can get so lost in thought that I totally forget where I am. I remember in college one time I was writing a final exam and was so lost in thought that i didn't realize how loud I was being when I erased a good chunk of my paper and blew the eraser shavings off my desk. Apparently I created an inner classroom whirlwind of laughter. Luckily, by then, most everyone knew me. Was actually kind of an ice breaker for the tension in the room. Laughter is good for that.

    Some people think I'm a total goofball. I have a gaggle of INFP friends. God forbid your first impression is of us together. We can volley silliness off of each other all day long. We probably look pretty childish, but goodness are we having fun!
    "We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  6. #86
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Hmm, I will reply to this through how I've perceived other confirmed INFPs in the past.

    Mostly they frustrate me, because they look like they're thinking deep, serious, dark thoughts and then open their mouths and say something trivial, light-hearted and comical. You don't know whether to push for what you think might be underneath or just take them at face-value. And since I think they're intentionally withholding what they're actually thinking, it tends to makes me assume they're thinking critical (and accurate) thoughts, though that's probably just insecurity...
    I am always thinking. My mind won't be quiet but find it extremely hard to verbalize my thoughts. Something like online chat is also hard. If someone pushes, it just gets harder. It's a frustration that's been there my whole life. Little of what's on the inside gets to the outside.

  7. #87
    Senior Member GirlFromMars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I am always thinking. My mind won't be quiet but find it extremely hard to verbalize my thoughts.
    Yeah, same. It can be really hard for me to verbalize my thoughts. I actually think I'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to getting my thoughts out. I want to word it perfectly, and I get all frustrated when it doesn't come out exactly how I was thinking it. But I cannot shut my head up. I'm allways thinking.
    INFP~ 4w5 ~ sx/sp ~ IEI ~ Libra

  8. #88
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    were probably seen as a joke

  9. #89
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    were probably seen as a joke

    hey! that's my type you're talking about!!:steam:
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  10. #90
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    i LOVE infps. The majority of my closest girlfriends are infps so I can spot them almost immediately and I always get my friends to take the myers briggs so I know i'm accurate. The first thing than cues me in is their interest in the meaning of life, as well as the likelihood that they are where they are because of their unorthodox way of making the world a better place, whatever that is for them. Though they seem reserved at first -- quiet, warmth, a sort of indefinable radiating integrity or authenticity -- they get more animated quickly once they realize how similar i am to them. Like them I love to talk about Ne and have a strong Fi, so before you know it we're going on about our theories of how to make the world a better place or whether near death experiences are true, etc. Once the friendships deepen, the only thing I find challenging is usually I want to spend more time with them than they want to spend with me. I have learned with difficulty not to take this personally as they are just very wrapped up in their private world and social contact is draining for them.

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