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  1. #91
    Senior Member Parrish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fireandwater View Post
    Once the friendships deepen, the only thing I find challenging is usually I want to spend more time with them than they want to spend with me. I have learned with difficulty not to take this personally as they are just very wrapped up in their private world and social contact is draining for them.

    (OT, sorry)
    One of my closest friends is an ENFP, she`s awesome I really like hanging out with her, she`s so full of energy and gets me hyper too but once I get home I`m usually exhausted. But it`s totally worth it, cuz those are some of the best laughs ever As you said, I need time alone to recharge after that. However, I think the ENFP (at least the one I know) easily gets swept up and enthusiastic over new acquaintances, but just as easily "moves on" from them. Which only makes me happier, when even if we aren`t in regular contact, I`m the one she calls when she`s in over her head and needs another point of view
    .:"Claude os, aperi oculos.":.

    "You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless, you have to hope even harder and cover your ears and go 'lalalalalalala'"- Fry (Futurama)

  2. #92
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
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    I was very, very INFP as a preteen and teenager. I've gotten much of the same. I either seem very arrogant, stuck up (honestly I think I just SOUND this way when I talk) or just a weirdo "freak." Depended on how well the person knew me because I had way more "masks" back then.

    I think I cope a little bit better in society since I've shifted to INFJ, so the arrogance thing isn't coming up as often anymore. But yeah, still a freak. I feel no need to hide my random delight in unusual things. Was teaching my freshmen about the Iliad today and I told them essentially that "Diomedes is my warrior boo" because I always favored him the most. Yeah I wonder why people think I'm a freak. Ho hum.

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiley45 View Post
    I expected INFP's to freak out over being called boring and give us a good show. No such luck.
    My ex wife used to call me boring - externally YES but internally there's lots going on - probably TOO much.

    I've been called aloof, standoff-ish, arrogant, boring, private,nice, calm,shy, confident, quiet, a good storyteller, a good listener, rude, polite, bossy, oppressive, strange, weird. My own opinion is that other people just slap on the easiest to find label as they really do NOT have clue what I'm like - very few people have gotten to know the real me.

    At the moment I seem to vibe well with gay men - not a conscious choice - but hey I'm not a judge on their lifestyle! But I rarely vibe well with women unless they're married!

  4. #94
    Senior Member ChildoftheProphets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by purplesunset View Post
    Dude, are you a masochist?

    If you go into hero mode with an INFP female, you're basically writing your own death wish. Well, this applies to NF females in general, but especially with INFP females.

    What will happen is this:

    You will be smitten by her sweetness and vulnerability.

    . . . . She falls hard in love with you, while constantly pointing out her flaws because of her vulnerability which you mentioned above.

    As she starts to trust you, she will dump all her deep rooted emotional problems unto your bosom. Until one day, she will reflect on it, and start to feel a bit too vulnerable from baring herself so much to someone else. And perhaps even a bit ashamed at baring so much of herself to another person.

    Then the resentment will slowly begin. In order to not feel so vulnerable/ashamed anymore, she will start to close up to you, until she eventually just dumps you, and walks away, leaving all her baggage behind in your heart. You will be left with all the emotional mess she had previously confided to you.

    This mess is comparable to a broken vase, but even if you do repair the broken vase, there is no owner to return it to, because she's already moved on to give another broken vase to some other unfortunate bloke.

    That my friend, is the story of the [NF] hero, and the INFP damsel in distress.
    Good God, that describes my last relationship with almost perfect certainty.
    "In the opening and shutting of heaven's gate, are you able to play the feminine part?" -- Lao Tzu

    "For when the One Great Scorer comes
    To write against your name,
    He marks - not that you won or lost -
    But how you played the Game."
    -- Grantland Rice

    “Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.” -- from The Catcher in the Rye

    "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do, and what a man can't do." -- Jack Sparrow

  5. #95
    Senior Member ChildoftheProphets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I think this only happens if the [other NF] does not confide in the INFP also. One-way confiding can feel vulnerable and create resentment, but where there is a mutual sharing of feelings and mutual support, trust and closeness may result.
    That makes a lot of sense, although I am very confiding as well. My problem was geopraphic distance after going off to college and a little bit of an age distance, which created closeness problems of a different sort.

    As Chris wrote earlier though, female INFPs are incredibly sexy. When I look into their eyes I feel like I'm suddenly taking part in a two-way mindmeld!

    NFs are so rare though; it makes those experiences all the more electric.
    "In the opening and shutting of heaven's gate, are you able to play the feminine part?" -- Lao Tzu

    "For when the One Great Scorer comes
    To write against your name,
    He marks - not that you won or lost -
    But how you played the Game."
    -- Grantland Rice

    “Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.” -- from The Catcher in the Rye

    "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do, and what a man can't do." -- Jack Sparrow

  6. #96
    Senior Member ChildoftheProphets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I hate that I just followed the crowd despite my better judgement. I think if it happened again I would tell them to get fucked and hand it in anyway - but things are different when you're 15.

    It often seems to me that real rebellion is, in fact, being a good person and doing the right thing - as backwards as that sounds.
    I had very similar problems back in high school, but really more with the school board and administration than I did with other students; lol, I probably could have blackmailed the school into changing some of its policies if I had threatened to sick the local news papers on them (the media loves tearing apart hypocritical Christian schools).

    I've developed much more of a backbone since then, and lately I've been using my abilities of stratagy and insight to help my friends and family.

    As Dr. Wilson put it to Dr. House a few weeks ago, "You are the diabolical, yet benevolent, puppet master."
    "In the opening and shutting of heaven's gate, are you able to play the feminine part?" -- Lao Tzu

    "For when the One Great Scorer comes
    To write against your name,
    He marks - not that you won or lost -
    But how you played the Game."
    -- Grantland Rice

    “Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.” -- from The Catcher in the Rye

    "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do, and what a man can't do." -- Jack Sparrow

  7. #97
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by purplesunset View Post
    OK, my fellow INFP's, what is so bad about people getting the impression that we're "goody-two-shoes" ?

    You guys say that like it's a pejorative or something.


    Is it because of the "it's cool to be baaaad" cultural trope?

    The " badass" anti-hero type dominates books, TV, and movies. Bad is seen as cooler than good.


    What eventually happened is we have reached a point where the "cool to be bad" cultural trope is no longer original. It pops up everywhere. All we get is a bunch of self-absorbed prima donnas trying to out-cool and out-bad each other. (This is why I hated Wolverine from the X-men movies. Talk about a scenery chewing, grandstanding douchebag all in the name of being a "cool" anti-hero)

    People need to realize that being good is actually cooler than being bad. Being good is not neutral. Just because you pay your taxes, and never commit a crime, does NOT mean you're good. You're just neutral.

    Goodness is a constant struggle.

    Goodness takes active effort.

    The sweet, good girl-next-door is actually cooler to me because it's so easy to slip into evil. It's easier to be the narcisistic prima donna. Self-preservation (which drives "badass" characters) is a basic instinct that even the lowest life forms share. What's so cool about that?
    Just... .


    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren View Post
    That second group is the hardest, definitely. I would say there might be a fourth category (related to the first): they hurt you out of an unthinking acting out in a moment of uncertainty or fear (I've been there too).
    Please, go ahead and add that fourth category.

    Please.

  8. #98
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    My aunt is an InFP, and I think she's the greatest. Since she's in her late 50s, she has already developed a lot of her functions, which makes her really awesome. In addition to having a really deep capacity for feeling that she does not often show, she's really creative and imaginative but is mature enough to keep things in balance and be down-to-earth. She's really a wonderful woman, and I wish I knew more people like her.

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