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  1. #1
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    Thumbs down What causes NF to drop ppl?

    ?


    to me (and possibly other NTs) once you're in...... you're in. Always keep my options open and never really drop ppl (unless there's a really good reason to). I might fade away or lose touch for awhile, but with NFs its like a switch is flicked and suddenly they dont want to talk to you anymore. Like one day they're pushing themself on you and the next day you're strangers.

  2. #2
    /X\(:: :: )/X\ BlueSprout's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    ?


    to me (and possibly other NTs) once you're in...... you're in. Always keep my options open and never really drop ppl (unless there's a really good reason to). I might fade away or lose touch for awhile, but with NFs its like a switch is flicked and suddenly they dont want to talk to you anymore. Like one day they're pushing themself on you and the next day you're strangers.
    I'm sorry that has happened to you - on multiple occasions no less. What kinds of NFs have dropped you? An ENFJ may have very different reasons for dropping you than an INFP would. Could you explain more about how they drop you too? For instance, how do you become a "stranger" to them? Do they rebuff you when you try to connect, or do they just stop making as much of an effort to connect with you? With a little more info, it will be easier to help you better understand why the NFs in your life might be acting the way they are.
    Type: INFP Enneagram: 4
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    I would say J's in general have a stronger urge to reshuffle and are more what's the word savvy in their delineations of who they feel comfortable with than P's who tend to clutter their open ended acceptance a lot longer. This might be going from personal growth vs possibility. how much change is there vs how much potential is there. how much have I gained vs how much haven't I gained. Really depends on an individualistic and or personal level. letting go is harsh hashish, start smoking some.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueSprout View Post
    An ENFJ may have very different reasons for dropping you than an INFP would.
    Elaborate please




    Could you explain more about how they drop you too? For instance, how do you become a "stranger" to them?
    I told NF I didn't want a relationship because I have to get my own life sorted out (which is true). Told NF that I didn't think things would work out between us. Said I still liked NF though and cared about her. Kinda hinted that I just wanted a booty call *shrug*. We "made up" after a fight and then things were supposedly fine. Few days later NF said pretty much the same thing I did, doesn't want to be in a relationship because NFs life is messed up too. We broke up. Also said she still liked me but didnt want to waste time if 'things wouldn't work out'. NF said she wanted to be friends (doesnt everyone say that? lol) and I was like alright cool. TBH I think NF wouldve been better as a friend than GF any way so I was cool with that. Continued below..........................

    Do they rebuff you when you try to connect, or do they just stop making as much of an effort to connect with you?
    Yes to no effort to connect. I've made a couple efforts to connect and we talked a bit online but it felt forced on NFs behalf. Like NF was just doing it to be nice lol. So I'm not gonna talk to said NF any more unless she initiates it.

    It's not a big deal to me as it was never really serious to me. I find it more intriguing than anything.... How before I said certain things NF was basically inviting herself to my house, asking me to go out, etc - and then a few days later NF doesn't want to talk at all. ie. both on messenger at same time and NF doesnt say hi or anything.



    EDIT: Think I figured it out on my own from reading my own post. Cause it happened before with another NF. We were friends. Both liked each other and it was obvious. I never made a move on her because I was young and liked a lot of other girls at the same time. Any ways she went on long enough with the friendship until she really saw that nothing more than friendship was happening. Then she dropped me as a friend because I didnt do the relationship thing with her.

    My point - NF's use guys for relationships. Once they see I;m not into the whole relationship thing, they drop me as a friend. I'm like just because things wouldnt work out that way, does that mean we cant talk anymore


    NF's are users.

  5. #5
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for what you experienced

    I also am amused to see that the thing men complain about, aka, 'are we going to get laid?/dating?' and they blame women for not picking up on, has been reversed here. We had a bunch of threads on how men expected sex/relationships from women and women just wanted to start out with friendship, with the whole friendzoning-thing following that. This isn't personally aimed at you, but when men want to get into the girls pants and she friendzones him, she's being cruel and/or ignorant and 'using' him emotionally. When an NF female does the opposite...she's 'using' you as well? How can we win???
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  6. #6
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    There can be a lot of different reasons, but the two reasons that come to mind as "likely":

    NFs usually have a strong value system. If someone does something that threatens that value system, it is possible that person can get a "bad" label slapped on them...causing the NF to withdraw.

    Many NFs have issues with feeling like we are being "taken for granted" and are "unappreciated" but often have difficulty verbalizing that (directly) since we tend to avoid conflict so we withdraw to avoid the hurt feelings.

    ^Neither of those things is really fair. People deserve and explanation and an opportunity to succeed in making us happy or to at least express their perspective instead of walking around scratching their heads going, "What'd I do? What happened?" I personally try not to put people in that situation...but I do have to try...expressing my needs and hurt feelings is not the most natural thing in the world for me.


    Edit: Where did you get that picture of me Super? I could have sworn I got rid of all the copies
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

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    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  7. #7
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    NF's are users.
    LOL. Yeah, especially when some guy wants to relegate us to Booty Call status. :rolli:
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #8
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah, I think it probably had more to do with how they felt with the arrangement that you came up with which they seemingly didn't even have input into. No one really wants to hear, "You're sure not the girl of my dreams and I don't want to date you though you clearly like me, but I'd still like to have sex with you while keeping my options open."

    Yep, sounds like a user to me...

  9. #9
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    Part of it may have to do with expectations. A booty call to a girl who may want a relationship could offend her. Depending on the complete temperament, it may be best to just move on. But remember next time you're in a situation with an NF -- if things end because you just "want to be friends," you probably will not be friends for very long.

  10. #10
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    LOL. Yeah, especially when some guy wants to relegate us to Booty Call status. :rolli:
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Yeah, I think it probably had more to do with how they felt with the arrangement that you came up with which they seemingly didn't even have input into. No one really wants to hear, "You're sure not the girl of my dreams and I don't want to date you though you clearly like me, but I'd still like to have sex with you while keeping my options open."

    Yep, sounds like a user to me...
    I'm with the NFs.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

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