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  1. #31
    Senior Member One Day's Avatar
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    This thread is funny.

  2. #32
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Moved some posts to the graveyard. Please try to stay civil even when people post things that offend you.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
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  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post

    I told NF I didn't want a relationship because I have to get my own life sorted out (which is true). Told NF that I didn't think things would work out between us. Said I still liked NF though and cared about her. Kinda hinted that I just wanted a booty call *shrug*. We "made up" after a fight and then things were supposedly fine. Few days later NF said pretty much the same thing I did, doesn't want to be in a relationship because NFs life is messed up too. We broke up. Also said she still liked me but didnt want to waste time if 'things wouldn't work out'. NF said she wanted to be friends (doesnt everyone say that? lol) and I was like alright cool. TBH I think NF wouldve been better as a friend than GF any way so I was cool with that. Continued below..........................



    Yes to no effort to connect. I've made a couple efforts to connect and we talked a bit online but it felt forced on NFs behalf. Like NF was just doing it to be nice lol. So I'm not gonna talk to said NF any more unless she initiates it.

    It's not a big deal to me as it was never really serious to me. I find it more intriguing than anything.... How before I said certain things NF was basically inviting herself to my house, asking me to go out, etc - and then a few days later NF doesn't want to talk at all. ie. both on messenger at same time and NF doesnt say hi or anything.
    When you said you didn't want a relationship and just a booty call, she probably was hurt by that or at least disappointed, and now just wants to go on with her life. Talking to you may be seen as pointless, possibly even damaging to her emotions.



    EDIT: Think I figured it out on my own from reading my own post. Cause it happened before with another NF. We were friends. Both liked each other and it was obvious. I never made a move on her because I was young and liked a lot of other girls at the same time. Any ways she went on long enough with the friendship until she really saw that nothing more than friendship was happening. Then she dropped me as a friend because I didnt do the relationship thing with her.

    My point - NF's use guys for relationships. Once they see I;m not into the whole relationship thing, they drop me as a friend. I'm like just because things wouldnt work out that way, does that mean we cant talk anymore


    NF's are users.

    Ahhh. I wouldn't say they're "users" - the possibility exists here is that they see your "booty calls" as using them. Or simply that they feel so rejected or disappointed by you not wanting a relationship that they feel they can't be friends.

    I find it really hard to feel sorry for you, I'm going to be honest.

  4. #34
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Moved some posts to the graveyard. Please try to stay civil even when people post things that offend you.
    AHEM.

    Don't complain if you get an infraction for any insulting posts that are time stamped after this one.
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  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Or simply that they feel so rejected or disappointed by you not wanting a relationship that they feel they can't be friends.
    Possibly.

    She's the one who said she wanted to stay friends though. She also said she was at a point in her life where she didn't want a relationship either. So we were on the same page there.

    Then again, some NFs say what they think you want to hear instead of what they're truly thinking.



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  6. #36
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    There may not be one tangible reason that can be discerned here. Maybe something else came into her life and she got distracted.

  7. #37
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    NFs usually have a strong value system. If someone does something that threatens that value system, it is possible that person can get a "bad" label slapped on them...causing the NF to withdraw.

    Many NFs have issues with feeling like we are being "taken for granted" and are "unappreciated" but often have difficulty verbalizing that (directly) since we tend to avoid conflict so we withdraw to avoid the hurt feelings.
    ^She hit the nail on the head. Dealing with both of these right now. Sigh. Can't I just have some normal friends?

    On the second one, it's not so much being taken for granted, I feel like I'm being used, become a mental stability crutch for someone who is depressed to feel better about their life.

    But no I haven't cut either of them off, it's more just a being less responsive. Ignoring some phone calls - postponing my response because I don't feel like talking right then. They're still my friends but it's more a distancing.
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  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post

    On the second one, it's not so much being taken for granted, I feel like I'm being used, become a mental stability crutch for someone who is depressed to feel better about their life.
    Interesting. So do NFs ever take others for granted or use others? Because theres been times in the past when Ive felt like an emotional crutch for an NF who's having problems and needs me to listen. Actually almost EVERY NF I've been with has some moment of truth type thing where they tell me their insecurities and/or problems. Weather we're dating or just friends. Always happens . And I feel the same way you do. Like I'm just some crutch for them that they need to prop themselves back up on.

  9. #39
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    Interesting. So do NFs ever take others for granted or use others? Because theres been times in the past when Ive felt like an emotional crutch for an NF who's having problems and needs me to listen. Actually almost EVERY NF I've been with has some moment of truth type thing where they tell me their insecurities and/or problems. Weather we're dating or just friends. Always happens . And I feel the same way you do. Like I'm just some crutch for them that they need to prop themselves back up on.
    I've definitely used a few people in my life, but only because they were too persistent to be in it when i've advised them that it is a bad plan.
    ENFJs specifically can be good for both if in a bad frame of mind. I'd chalk it up to feeling that people aren't up to our level of caring and intensity so, when we are at a low point, their best isn't enough.
    Do they actually divulge their emotions to you or do they just discuss things? A release can be really important to an NF and if they go to you and emotionally open up then that can be really good.
    I know when i do that, i will dust myself off afterward and appear like nothing was an issue. I'm sure it comes off as a crutch-like action to some friends, but it mostly isn't.
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  10. #40
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post





    I told NF I didn't want a relationship because I have to get my own life sorted out (which is true). Told NF that I didn't think things would work out between us. Said I still liked NF though and cared about her. Kinda hinted that I just wanted a booty call *shrug*. We "made up" after a fight and then things were supposedly fine. Few days later NF said pretty much the same thing I did, doesn't want to be in a relationship because NFs life is messed up too. We broke up. Also said she still liked me but didnt want to waste time if 'things wouldn't work out'. NF said she wanted to be friends (doesnt everyone say that? lol) and I was like alright cool. TBH I think NF wouldve been better as a friend than GF any way so I was cool with that. Continued below..........................



    Yes to no effort to connect. I've made a couple efforts to connect and we talked a bit online but it felt forced on NFs behalf. Like NF was just doing it to be nice lol. So I'm not gonna talk to said NF any more unless she initiates it.

    It's not a big deal to me as it was never really serious to me. I find it more intriguing than anything.... How before I said certain things NF was basically inviting herself to my house, asking me to go out, etc - and then a few days later NF doesn't want to talk at all. ie. both on messenger at same time and NF doesnt say hi or anything.



    EDIT: Think I figured it out on my own from reading my own post. Cause it happened before with another NF. We were friends. Both liked each other and it was obvious. I never made a move on her because I was young and liked a lot of other girls at the same time. Any ways she went on long enough with the friendship until she really saw that nothing more than friendship was happening. Then she dropped me as a friend because I didnt do the relationship thing with her.

    My point - NF's use guys for relationships. Once they see I;m not into the whole relationship thing, they drop me as a friend. I'm like just because things wouldnt work out that way, does that mean we cant talk anymore


    NF's are users.

    although it sounds like you were using her

    she liked you and you basically said booty call material
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