User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 53

  1. #21
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    12,444

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    to me (and possibly other NTs) once you're in...... you're in. Always keep my options open and never really drop ppl (unless there's a really good reason to). I might fade away or lose touch for awhile, but with NFs its like a switch is flicked and suddenly they dont want to talk to you anymore. Like one day they're pushing themself on you and the next day you're strangers.
    Don't include this NT in your stereotyping nonsense.

  2. #22
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    2,900

    Default

    In regard to your situation:
    Your involvement or lack of involvement with the NFs is what flicked that switch. It doesn't sound like it was a completely random event, just that it wasn't a declared event.
    Do you know their exact types? I'm curious.
    I'm under the impression that INFs are more likely to withdraw for themselves and the benefit of their own emotions, while ENFs would be more likely to attempt a solution for the other person until their emotions get in the way. (Anyone else- feel free to comment on that. I'm just guesstimating)
    Personally, i don't drop people i have been involved with or am interested in if things just aren't working or happening.

    In regard to the title:

    I've dropped people before because they have tried to manipulate or debase me immensely or because we weren't close in the first place. I have a specific amount of effort i'll make for people so it requires meeting in the middle most times.
    Ex. If i have a friend added on a website and on aim. I may not go out of my way to go to said site and comment or message them, but if they make the effort to go on aim i'll message them frequently.
    People need to be in an accessible place to me. Could be a side effect of branching out to too many people in a typical ENFJ way.

    I never drop people who meet me in the middle with the friendship/acquaintanceship and who respect that i'm a human being.
    It feels like that is extremely valuable to any NF so we don't take it lightly when something is amiss..
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  3. #23
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    202

    Default

    lol haters... I said NFs are users to make fun of my own situation. It wasnt meant as something to offend the people I was asking advice from.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4sop
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,505

    Default

    I don't usually drop people because I am very careful when I make friends. I can imagine dropping one of my friends if they greatly offended me or did something that they knew would hurt me. I have this thing about not forgiving people. I guess 'betrayal' would be a top reason. Also, if I feel that the friendship is not natural and is not 'even', then I see no point.

  5. #25
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    enfp
    Posts
    2,585

    Default

    k did you even think that maybe the girl was really into you and you just burned her and tell her all she is is a booty call? How demeaning is that ?

    I'd have told you the same thing so I wouldn't be crying my eyes out... and slowly walk away so I wouldn't get hurt any further

    FYI

    some NF's are highly emotional and sensitive and lead with their hearts they get attached, and fall hard.... and you sounded like an insensitive jerk. Hey I like you enough to 'f' yah and be your friend as long as I get to 'f' yah, but my life is too messed up to fight for you even though I like you a lot !
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
    Jung Test Results
    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  6. #26
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    ?


    to me (and possibly other NTs) once you're in...... you're in.
    Is this really true for the INT? I mean introverts just don't have the same energy for people in their lives as extroverts do. And at least for me, once a person is no longer an intimate, it takes more energy to deal with them, just as it does with other non-intimates, so I am probably not going out of my way to create contact.

  7. #27
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    eNFp
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    209

    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    Elaborate please

    I told NF I didn't want a relationship because I have to get my own life sorted out (which is true). Told NF that I didn't think things would work out between us. Said I still liked NF though and cared about her. Kinda hinted that I just wanted a booty call *shrug*. We "made up" after a fight and then things were supposedly fine. Few days later NF said pretty much the same thing I did, doesn't want to be in a relationship because NFs life is messed up too. We broke up. Also said she still liked me but didnt want to waste time if 'things wouldn't work out'. NF said she wanted to be friends (doesnt everyone say that? lol) and I was like alright cool. TBH I think NF wouldve been better as a friend than GF any way so I was cool with that. Continued below..........................
    So you ended up coming to an agreement. That you two, for various reasons aren't compatible for a relationship. When you tell a person you don't want to be with them, it's normal for them to wan't to cut off contact, completely for self preservation. It is hard to have sex with someone and be friends at the same time, and also, it takes a lot of work to compartmentalize, and effort, when she could be in a healthy relationship with a man that finds her more than just a booty-lishous curiosity...

    I think ending the whatever is was, was the best thing she, you could ever do. If you care about other human beings and their sanity is, let her go, and talk to us, which is what you are doing. Get some friends, that get that straight up, you are just want fun, and to be open, instead of letting them down later. Cause it sounds like you aren't ready for a relationship.

    Don't bother her with your needs. She might be tempted to want to help you, if you acted like you cared more.

    I say that she also did it on her own terms, and swiched it on you, and you were not expecting that. Hey you have to realize that when you say something your words and actions have consequences, you can't take them back. I think you don't have realtionship experience...and are being immature about it, cause you think you were dumped or something. You want to be the dumper, and don't like it that she did the no show. To me this is so obvious.

    I can't believe I actually took the time to write this, what a waste of time, I never want to talk to you again. (laughs)
    (actually true)

    From reading your post, knowing what you said you may be leaving something out, like if you lied to her, or fooled around with any other girls...

    Or there is the short answer...

    Withdrawing her attention completely and cutting off all contact is a form of self preservation, and it is her way of taking control of the situation, and punishing you for hurting her. (my guess)

  8. #28
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post

    My point - NF's use guys for relationships. Once they see I'm not into the whole relationship thing, they drop me as a friend. I'm like just because things wouldnt work out that way, does that mean we cant talk anymore

    NF's are users.
    Definitley untrue of me, though. But then again, I'm asexual... I've had to ask guys if we could remain in the friend zone, because they wanted to get romantic about it. Or grow cold and distant because I understood that this is all they were really interested in.
    In my experience, every time I've liked a boy, I realized that a meaningful friendship involving mutual trust and respect was really what I was after, because I would feel satisfied when I had reached that point. There was one guy I liked enough that if it had been mutual, I would have accepted to go beyond the asexual barrier, but he was already after someone else. They are married now, and obviously happy. I am very happy for them, and good friends with the both of them. I play music with him in the church's worship group, and appreciate our respectful friendship very much.

  9. #29
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    202

    Thumbs down

    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    So you ended up coming to an agreement. That you two, for various reasons aren't compatible for a relationship. When you tell a person you don't want to be with them, it's normal for them to wan't to cut off contact, completely for self preservation. It is hard to have sex with someone and be friends at the same time, and also, it takes a lot of work to compartmentalize, and effort, when she could be in a healthy relationship with a man that finds her more than just a booty-lishous curiosity...

    I think ending the whatever is was, was the best thing she, you could ever do. If you care about other human beings and their sanity is, let her go, and talk to us, which is what you are doing. Get some friends, that get that straight up, you are just want fun, and to be open, instead of letting them down later. Cause it sounds like you aren't ready for a relationship.

    Don't bother her with your needs. She might be tempted to want to help you, if you acted like you cared more.

    I say that she also did it on her own terms, and swiched it on you, and you were not expecting that. Hey you have to realize that when you say something your words and actions have consequences, you can't take them back. I think you don't have realtionship experience...and are being immature about it, cause you think you were dumped or something. You want to be the dumper, and don't like it that she did the no show. To me this is so obvious.

    I can't believe I actually took the time to write this, what a waste of time, I never want to talk to you again. (laughs)
    (actually true)

    From reading your post, knowing what you said you may be leaving something out, like if you lied to her, or fooled around with any other girls...

    What a weird reply.

    All I see is a bunch of assumptions that are nowhere near accurate, and you repeating what I already said and trying to make it seem as if you came to that conclusion on your own. Genius!

  10. #30
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    202

    Default

    some NF's are highly emotional and sensitive and lead with their hearts they get attached, and fall hard.... and you sounded like an insensitive jerk. Hey I like you enough to 'f' yah and be your friend as long as I get to 'f' yah, but my life is too messed up to fight for you even though I like you a lot !
    More wrong assumptions.

    1. Neither of us were attached.

    2. Doubt she fell that hard.

    3. How did I sound like an insensitive jerk? Because I was honest? Maybe next time I should just play along with the relationship and lie, pretending to be into it when I'm really not, just to get some more @$$ from it.

    4. When did I say anything like the bolded part at all? Completely wrong on your part to assume that.

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] What attracts NFs to Typology?
    By StephMC in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 01-12-2013, 12:21 PM
  2. What causes us to prefer Thinking or Feeling?
    By Giggly in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 10-28-2011, 12:38 PM
  3. What causes people to tell the truth?
    By xisnotx in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-18-2011, 08:11 PM
  4. What causes people to tell lies?
    By Rail Tracer in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 10-18-2011, 04:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO