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  1. #11
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    I told NF I didn't want a relationship because I have to get my own life sorted out (which is true). Told NF that I didn't think things would work out between us. Said I still liked NF though and cared about her. Kinda hinted that I just wanted a booty call *shrug*. We "made up" after a fight and then things were supposedly fine. Few days later NF said pretty much the same thing I did, doesn't want to be in a relationship because NFs life is messed up too. We broke up. Also said she still liked me but didnt want to waste time if 'things wouldn't work out'. NF said she wanted to be friends (doesnt everyone say that? lol) and I was like alright cool. TBH I think NF wouldve been better as a friend than GF any way so I was cool with that. Continued below..........................



    Yes to no effort to connect. I've made a couple efforts to connect and we talked a bit online but it felt forced on NFs behalf. Like NF was just doing it to be nice lol. So I'm not gonna talk to said NF any more unless she initiates it.

    It's not a big deal to me as it was never really serious to me. I find it more intriguing than anything.... How before I said certain things NF was basically inviting herself to my house, asking me to go out, etc - and then a few days later NF doesn't want to talk at all. ie. both on messenger at same time and NF doesnt say hi or anything.



    EDIT: Think I figured it out on my own from reading my own post. Cause it happened before with another NF. We were friends. Both liked each other and it was obvious. I never made a move on her because I was young and liked a lot of other girls at the same time. Any ways she went on long enough with the friendship until she really saw that nothing more than friendship was happening. Then she dropped me as a friend because I didnt do the relationship thing with her.

    My point - NF's use guys for relationships. Once they see I;m not into the whole relationship thing, they drop me as a friend. I'm like just because things wouldnt work out that way, does that mean we cant talk anymore


    NF's are users.
    You're clueless and arrogant.

    Anyway, I think you may be dropped by countless girls (of many types!) for a long time. Good luck on figuring out the problem!

  2. #12
    garbage
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    I'm finding it difficult to not be snarky.. the only things holding me back are that others have already covered that ground and that I know you're frustrated and confused.

    So I'll just say: don't insult the people you want advice from.

  3. #13
    Junior Member megm87's Avatar
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    There have been times in relationships where I have been really fighting nail and tooth for things to work out (I am truly the notorious impossible to break up with ENFP who has to make sure every single possibility has been explored before 'giving up' on the relationship) while oddly in the back of my head I almost agree with the other person. It's like I know one day things will probably not work out because I foresee the problems that will develop/the ones already present getting worse but I haven't exhausted my Ne curiosity about how the relationship will play out. It's like even if I see the train heading for the cliff I have to stay on just to see how it will land. It's infuriating for me and I'm sure for the guys I've dated. Anyway, sometimes after convincing the guy that we should stay in the relationship and pursue other avenues I start to have this dreaded feeling that we should have just ended then - however, I am glad that I am postponing the inevitable pain. But after awhile (in your NFs case I guess only a few days) I start to feel almost guilty for convincing the other person that we should most definitely stay together when I, too know things won't work out and realize that postponing the pain will only make it worse. I then will tell the person 'well actually I think you were right' or 'I'm really sorry I've been doing some thinking and you had some pretty good points when we were discussing where our relationship is headed last week' etc. How confusing that must be for you guys/gals that come upon us in your relationships! It seems like we want nothing more than to be with you (which is the truth) and that we are fully convinced we can make the relationship work (not so much the truth, just what we want to be the truth and want to convince even ourselves is the truth), and then randomly a short time later come back saying that you were right all along and that we think that the relationship should indeed end (out of seemingly nowhere to the other person involved.) Hope that helped! Other NFs let me know if I am the only crazy one who has suffered from this.

  4. #14
    morose bourgeoisie
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    You should suck it up and stop whining about it.

  5. #15
    Junior Member megm87's Avatar
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    Oh and PS I agree with the don't insult people you want advice from and also have to say that the NF you were dealing with might have had a suspicion you were trying to take the relationship down the 'booty call' route and thought at first she could do it because she wanted to make things work and then a few days in realized that she couldn't. Gah I can't ever stop with the possibilities!!!! haha

  6. #16
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
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    Sometimes it just depends on if I'm in the mood to be around that particular person. At least thats been one of my reasons. Other times the person may become annoying to me or I'll come to realize something I don't like about them/they show their true colors.
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

  7. #17
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I needed this laugh.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #18
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    Going with the thread title, others here have addressed the "problem" of the OP already. I can "drop" people when I just don't know how to act around them or talk to them, everything is just so awkward and I don't know how to fix that without it being embarrassing for both parties (or at least that's what I always seem to think). I get into this "what if..." loop, all the different (negative) possibilities start haunting me and although I'd very much like to be friends with that person, it's just easier to stay away. So, I avoid initiating any contact. And when they show no desire to connect either then things just fall apart and stay in this "unknown" limbo.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Going with the thread title, others here have addressed the "problem" of the OP already. I "drop" people when I ...
    Let's repurpose the thread to discuss something along these lines. Please. This terrible, terrible thread can yet be salvaged.

    I tend to drop people when it's impossible to maintain the right psychological distance--either they want to be way too close or way too far.

  10. #20
    /X\(:: :: )/X\ BlueSprout's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUPER View Post
    Elaborate please
    An INFP might feel overwhelmed by too many social expectations and drift away from those that were too taxing. An ENFJ (an extravert with dominant Fe) is less likely to simply drift away from friendship without a compelling reason, least of all because he/she was too overwhelmed to deal with social expectations.

    Also, what pretty much everyone else said, without any further information to go on, that is. Amargith, Prime and fidelia especially hit the nail on the head.
    Type: INFP Enneagram: 4
    Fi>Si>Ne>Te>Fe>Se>Ti>Ni

    cataplum!

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