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[NF] What NF's look for in a potential mate

G

GirlAmerica

Guest
Define the following characteristics-

Physical:

Emotional:

Mental:
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Physical: I'm more concerned about healthy than anything else; the rest I end up overlooking when the other two are satisfied. Physical affection, though is one thing I tend to prefer a lot of.

Emotional: I have to feel wanted; though I suppose I'm easier than some on that as evident in my random comments on "the heat within the freezer". Someone who will be nice to me :)

Mental: I require some form of intelligence be it book or street, but it has to be there. If she's too simple and out of it I lose interest fast. I'll take the handmade dark chocolate with real caramel and toffee over a pretty wrapper.

Edit: PM me if you think you can fit the above and aren't scared by my posts on these forums.
 
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Sandy

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
552
MBTI Type
INFP
Physical: I'm more concerned about healthy than anything else; the rest I end up overlooking when the other two are satisfied. Physical affection, though is one thing I tend to prefer a lot of.

Emotional: I have to feel wanted; though I suppose I'm easier than some on that as evident in my random comments on "the heat within the freezer". Someone who will be nice to me :)

Mental: I require some form of intelligence be it book or street, but it has to be there. If she's too simple and out of it I lose interest fast. I'll take the handmade dark chocolate with real caramel and toffee over a pretty wrapper.

Perfect! I couldn't have said it better than this! :yes:
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Perfect! I couldn't have said it better than this! :yes:

You sure? I am a guy; guys are supposed to be wrong about this stuff :D
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Physical: Good-looking in a peculiar feral unfussy way. (Can't stand me a frou-frou pretty metro-man.) Gotta have a sharp look around the eyes, and I have a weird thing about noses.

Emotional: On an even keel, but not a dead zone where nothing grows. I lean strongly towards Ts for mates because they simply are not affected by the things that I am. Yin-yang power trade.

Mental: Intellectually inquisitive and sharp as a tack. I like men smart, smart, smart. I don't mean that they have to have an MBA from Harvard -- more like an instinctive cunning smart that radiates from a cellular level. But dilettantism is a no-no.
 

Theory

New member
Joined
Jul 17, 2007
Messages
49
MBTI Type
ENFJ
^I agree with everything you said. Although I have to admit, while I sometimes prefer T's, I tend to go for F's more often because they can pretty much understand my emotional quirks and why I do what I do.

Oh... and I like it when men take good care of themselves and dress nicely, but I can't stand "frou frou" men either. There is definitely a difference.
 

Sandy

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
552
MBTI Type
INFP
You sure? I am a guy; guys are supposed to be wrong about this stuff :D

It works for me! I have never been picky, but there are some very basic things that I need from a man...

1) looks aren't ever an issue, but connection is very much an issue
2) loving, kind, thoughtful, trustworthy and optimistic
3) I enjoy cleverness - so brains rack up there!
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
^I agree with everything you said. Although I have to admit, while I sometimes prefer T's, I tend to go for F's more often because they can pretty much understand my emotional quirks and why I do what I do.

Oh... and I like it when men take good care of themselves and dress nicely, but I can't stand "frou frou" men either. There is definitely a difference.

Agreed! Metro is icky. :thumbdown:
 

Kiddo

Furry Critter with Claws
Joined
Sep 25, 2007
Messages
2,790
MBTI Type
OMNi
Hm...well I have preferences and I have requirements.

Physical - I prefer average to toned guys with a nice ass and a warm smile. I prefer average to toned women with smaller breasts and soft eyes. I only require that they be healthy, have good hygiene, and are affectionate. Overall looks isn't that important to me. Good sexual chemistry is essential though.

Emotional - I prefer friendly, energetic people. I would especially prefer romantic people who know how to have a good time. I require that they are nice, not criticizing, capable of commitment, intimate, and can incite a little passion in me.

Mental: I just flat out require intelligence. Smart enough to hold an interesting conversation with but not so smart that intellectual discussions dominate all the communication. I prefer witty and funny, but not in a sarcastic or sardonic way if possible.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Define the following characteristics-

Physical:

Emotional:

Mental:

***SIGH***

Physical: I'm not going to lie, looks are important. But, not necessarily 'conventional' good looks; more that *I* find them attractive, and ideally, want to jump them. ;) Chemistry is important. In shape and healthy is pretty important to me.

Emotional: em...I have a hard time breaking this off from mental, because to me, it's the whole package, all together. Kindness is important to me. Emotional maturity. Confidence, and a strong sense of self. But also a desire to connect with others. Self-growth. Awareness.

Mental: Men who are equally or more intelligent than I. And no, he doesn't have to have a PhD or anything. One of the most intelligent men I've met, and love, didn't ever complete his college degree, and self-teaches himself everything. He's probably the wisest and smartest person I know, and I grovel at his feet. ;) Well, no, not really, but...I really respect him.

The two people I've fallen in love with have been 'free spirits'. Arg, haha. I love those who walk their own path and move to the beat of their own drum -- but usually this quality also coexists with one who doesn't want to 'settle down' -- like a bird in flight. :) But they're the only ones I've fallen for. Perhaps one day the birds will land. :) It also could be argued though that I'm a bird too. hehe.

Um...I want to share a life with someone and grow with them. Mutual respect and love. Someone who isn't caught up in material things and prestige and status...someone more on a spiritual plane perhaps. But, I also don't want someone TOO much like me, that would probably be bad. I haven't found it yet, and I don't feel I can throw out any specific qualities that would be 'It'. It's who the person is in their entirety - not necessarily the individual pieces. It's how all of the pieces add up to a unique individual - and it's that whole that is important to me.

Edit: I desire men who are *in general* at peace with their lives and know how to take care of themselves emotionally and physically, and are in general happy and optimistic -- I've dated a few who have been basically the opposite, and I don't desire that type of dynamic in any future relationships.
 

wolfmaiden14

*ears perk up*
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
590
MBTI Type
Infx
Physical: I like dark hair, just long enough to run my fingers through. It's rare I'm attracted to blondes or redheads. (Though it's rare I'm attracted to someone based on looks at all. >.>) I go for the stereotypical tall dark and handsome, but really, I can FIND attractive things about people if I want to. I love everything style-wise. Metro is a clean and respectable sexy and rugged or just comfortable is nice and masculine. Long as they don't smell bad. Slightly toned or slightly chubby and cuddly is best (especially since I'm certainly no twig and don't want someone smaller than me!), but toooo much extra weight looses some attractive points. So does too much muscle. I certainly wouldn't complain if they were built, but I do like the little bit of squishy. :3

Emotional: Respectful, honest, all that typical good stuff. The empath in me tends to fall for the needy, wanting to be that person to make everything all better, or the total unstable because they light me up trying to figure them out, but I've learned that both of those create horrible co-dependence, so while I still have that inkling, I find emotional independence and confidence *more* attractive now. I want to be wanted, not needed. ;) I tend to have a thing for sensitive/girly(F?) guys, I guess because it shows me they trust me enough to show me their emotions, though shows of masculinity and dominance still get me going. Maybe I'm weird, but attention kind of makes me feel awkward, so *I* prefer to do the romancing(not that I'd refuse them pulling their weight of thoughtfulness ;) ). They gotta be upbeat and fun-loving to cheer me up when NF moodiness kicks in(especially since I want to be a therapist or counselor). I also hope they'd want to better themselves and make others happy, because that's what I try to do too. I get ridiculously giddy when I see guys who have a talent or personality that can spread positive feelings. And for some reason, I have an affinity for obnoxious asses just because I admire the balls they have to mess with people like I would never be able to. That's probably a bad thing, though. -.-
The two people I've fallen in love with have been 'free spirits'. Arg, haha. I love those who walk their own path and move to the beat of their own drum -- but usually this quality also coexists with one who doesn't want to 'settle down' -- like a bird in flight. But they're the only ones I've fallen for. Perhaps one day the birds will land. :)
Same thing exactly, even the number. XD The first I know is an ESFP with a well developed intuition, the second an E_F_. I'm thinking ENFJ, but he switches around a lot. Really, with wanting someone who wants to bring joy to others any ExFx would most likely suit that just fine.

Mental: I like debate. Seriously.. nothing really excites me like toying with ideas, playful power struggles and flirtatious banter. So there has to be some common denominator of higher reasoning if not intellectual knowledge. Plus I like sharing new concepts and ideas, so it'd be nice if they could also have some input. Smarter, and especially more worldly people would intimidate me, but as long as they don't hold it over my head(I have insecurities from being called stupid a lot by my parents, plus failing at a lot of the things I try to do at first.), I'd probably like that.

Um...I want to share a life with someone and grow with them. Mutual respect and love. Someone who isn't caught up in material things and prestige and status...someone more on a spiritual plane perhaps. But, I also don't want someone TOO much like me, that would probably be bad.
Again, I agree with you on that!

Now.. that's my huge ass list of ideals, and experiences thus far...but really... as long as that person knows what they want, and why they want it out of life, and chooses to want me, accepting of all my strengths and weaknesses, along and support me in the same way, I can probably learn to deal with the bad and love the good. Hopefully, we'd be on similar paths and lifestyles, but with our own personal interests and quirks enough to keep it interesting.
 
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quietgirl

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2007
Messages
401
MBTI Type
INFJ
Define the following characteristics-

Physical:

Emotional:

Mental:


Honestly? I simply want someone who has their shit together, treats me well, and provides me with some sort of stability. When I was younger, I could've written you a long, indepth description of my perfect man. However, after being with someone in the grips of bipolar and getting cheated on left & right, I have begun to appreciate people for their simplicity & reliability. Obviously, I need chemistry - that's what ultimately seperates a friendship from a relationship - but my core needs have changed a little as I've gotten older and dated a bit.

I bet I sound soooo SJ right now. :p

My current relationship serves me well, though. My boyfriend is fairly easy to read, which after the bipolar ex is WONDERFUL. He doesn't have any deep, unresolved issues that I need to fix for him - as much as I hate describing S types like this, as it has a negative connotation, he really is a simple guy. He's very loyal and genuinely enjoys being in a relationship & doing relationship like things. We're extremely attracted to one another. He'll tell me how he feels about me, but he's really not an overly emotional, sensitive guy which is nice. Honestly, the only thing I have to worry about with him is which bone he's going to break next from doing something reckless (remember the tv show Jackass? That sort of reckless). But on the plus side, I'm always entertained. Small price to pay for happiness.
 

niffer

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,217
MBTI Type
ENfP
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
THIS: YouTube - "The Cuppycake Song" - Acoustic Cover

Physical: It's all in the face. Eyes mostly.

Emotional: Secure, and can take a joke. Not insensitive towards others. Positive outlook on life.

Mental: Intelligence is extremely important to me- I would prefer it if they were smarter than me. It would be cool getting intellectually pwned every day. But not irritatingly so...I don't want to get corrected every five minutes when I talk.

Mental: Intellectually inquisitive and sharp as a tack. I like men smart, smart, smart. I don't mean that they have to have an MBA from Harvard -- more like an instinctive cunning smart that radiates from a cellular level.

^
THAT
 

Mempy

Mamma said knock you out
Joined
Jul 29, 2007
Messages
2,227
Physical: It makes no difference to me what they look like, if I like their personality. Average Joes or studmuffins become one. The only thing I couldn't put up with is stink or lack of hygiene.

Emotional: I like someone to be simply available to me, emotionally. I like them to be in touch with all their emotions, good and bad, new and old. If they're aware of and comfortable with all their emotions, they shouldn't have a problem sharing them with me.

Mental: I'd like us to share most opinions. Not all, but most. The ones we don't share I will happily debate/argue about. I need someone who can debate with me without tucking their tail between their legs or taking it too seriously. Come to think of it, I hope they don't take themselves too seriously, either. I love someone with a quick wit, good sense of humor, and sound intelligence and level-headedness. Someone who is very hard to offend. Like Piranha said, I like my men "smart, smart, smart." I love confidence and playfulness. Someone who can laugh at me and at himself, and make a point with humor without drawing blood (like a rubber sword). Honesty, honesty, honesty.

I desire men who are *in general* at peace with their lives and know how to take care of themselves emotionally and physically, and are in general happy and optimistic

I agree. Being around someone who is overall happy and well-adjusted, and especially confident, is like a weight off the soul.
 

helen

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
241
MBTI Type
INFJ
Physical: I like to see that a person has enough respect for themselves to take care of their appearance, maintain a healthy weight, etc. Attraction is important, but if I like someone enough I will usually find them attractive. Typically, I'm attracted to tall guys (but not too tall!) with dark hair, expressive eyes, and slim to average builds. :heart:

Emotional: I mostly value kindness, sensitivity, some level of optimism, and generosity (not so much with stuff, but in their way of percieving and treating others).

Mental: The more common interests, beliefs, and values the better. And I definitely like guys that can discuss happily and at some length abstract ideas and concepts. :party2:
 

GZA

Resident Snot-Nose
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,771
MBTI Type
infp
Physical: I find that I really like dark brown hair and blue eyes. I don't have any real specific measurments or anything, ahaha, but I do like a nice body with some tone to it. I find that a lot of physical energy is very attractive, someone who could just run around and jump in the air in pure joy, I guess thats because thats what the inside of my mind is like, and seeing that in another person's physical energy is really attractive.

Emotional: Someone who sits back and understands and is supportive but also has their own way of doing things -someone who doesn't rely on me, and who I don't rely on, but together find everything so much better.

Mental: I like a level of sassiness, but only if its kind. I don't like smart ass girls who are trying to make people look stupid, but someone who can humourously call you on your poor little mistakes and make a good joke in a comfortable kind of way, in a way that always makes you feel better about yourself. I don't think its important to have the same opinions about everything. Its important to have some common ground, and an appreciation for some of the different opinions and tastes, but its not essential to have everything in common. Intelligence is good, I don't like empty-headed girls. I absolutely hate this "dumb is cute" mentallity a lot of teenage girls have, because it is not cute at all, its really quite revolting. Sense of humour is good too, I love making girls laugh. I find myself attracted to girls who have a big laugh. Extraverted is good, in the same sense as I described in the "physical" portion. I like someone with a lot os soul, a lot of mind, a lot of ideas. Soul is important, I'm not talking like Aretha Franklin, I just mean someone who has a set of morals and ideas on life and has a deep idea of who/what they are or what the world is/will be.
 

whatnot

New member
Joined
Nov 18, 2007
Messages
39
MBTI Type
xNfj
Physical: I prefer a slightly athletic build, but not a requirement. I like quirky looks like a crooked grin or a big nose. I don't like classically good looking men. (Think Zach Braff not Fabio.)

Emotional: I need someone who has some emotional depth and intensity. I'm typically attracted to NTP men in this regard. I don't want a weepy man. Though, that being said, I'm sort of in a relationship right now with an INFP, who is completely on the same page as I am emotionally speaking, and that can be quite refreshing. I don't feel like I have to justify feelings to him. I need to have the best friend AND romantic connection. Ideally, I'd like someone more stable than I am, but (so cliche for an F) that I can help express their F side. Overall, I prefer an up-beat personality. I tend to be happy in general, but need association with a positive person to maintain that. I also need someone independent. I'm very attracted to driven men. I don't want to feel like I have to parent or push someone.

Mental: Super smart, intensely curious, and creative. I have to be able to learn from him. They have to be very witty and logical. I'm a hair on the F side, but have an appreciation for a strong T. I feel secure with someone very logical. Abstract thinking is a must. I like someone centered, but able to go all the way down the rabbit hole with me.
 

gretch

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Physical: I prefer Tall dark and nerdy. The nerdier the hotter. Observe husband left. But like Sandy said, I have never really looked at looks or even been enticed by someone just because of their looks.

Emotional. Someone who is emotionally independent. WHo doesn't let their emtions rule them, but who also allows room for their feelings and cares, desires and dreams. But most of all someone who doesn't hold me back or ick on my wow. But above all someone who is genuine, kind and sincere. Emphasis on genuine.

Mental: A superior lifeform. Fairminded, open, understanding, original, and extremely intelligent. Obviously, abstract in thought is preferable, or at least able to follow mine. Mental chemistry is definately the biggest issue for me.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
I want a man so pretty and vain I never have to worry about running out of product.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I want a man so pretty and vain I never have to worry about running out of product.


LOL! Best answer ever. Marry me! :D
 
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