Hi quietgirl, new INFj here. Just wondered what MBTI type is your boyfriend?
I have not been in anything that I could say was a good committed relationship up until now myself.
There's no telling his type. I posted a thread in the What's My Type section, but he keeps testing different types. He's borderline on just about all letters - but it's been narrowed down to ISTP, ISFJ, INFJ, or a weak extravert ENFJ. haha.
Physical: quite important for me, sadly. I must be savagely attracted. However, the girls I fall hardest for are rarely conventionally pretty. It usually takes a while for me to realize that I find them attractive. My first reaction to their appearances tends to be "Hmm, she has a strange look. Definitely not ugly but... What is it about her appearance? Intriguing..."
Emotional: I tend to fall for girls who are coming out of a dark place rather than girls who are going into one. Girls who have never been into a dark place are fascinating but I tend to leave them alone as much as possible. It's stupid, but I guess I don't want to be the one to "taint" them.
Mental: I guess the same as anyone. Smart enough to be interesting, not so smart that she doesn't find me interesting. It's a fine line. Offbeat sense of humour definitely desirable. Preferably an understated, intelligent offbeat sense of humour (as opposed to the "zany, wacky" offbeat sense of humour). Must definitely laugh at my jokes or at least laugh at me as I tell my jokes.
NFs can be so detached and optimistic when they are ready for "change", and they idealize other people so much... They can make ANYONE their "potential mate"
While NT's look for flaws in people, NF's look for what's good. They can see good in anyone.
Then a few months pass by and reality hits them. Back to square one.
I think I have to agree with you! My INFJ friend...married on the rebound....and a SHORT time later....realized what a mistake the marriage was. NTs DO look for flaws (as evidenced by some of the NEGATIVE threads/comments on the NT forums..especially INTP Central!)...and NFs are so positive. Ah...it makes me miss my INFJ friend right now.
Physical: Ideally, someone close to my height and weight, and in good health. Fair, creamy skin, high cheekbones, bright eyes and blond or brown hair are particularly attractive. There are a lot of things, however, I need to improve about myself before I really have the right to talk.
Emotional: Probably someone who feels with similar intensity as me. A man who is mature and driven, and who would keep me motivated to improve myself (but who will still let me know that I am desirable.) I like intimacy and privacy, so I would appreciate that in a potential partner.
Mental: Intellect is attractive, but I don't believe that it's a total be a necessity. A reflective nature can make up for lack of academic interest if we can still have thoughtful conversations. Someone who is more practicaly-minded would be nice, since I'm a bit airy.
"Why had he never appreciated what a miracle he was, brain and nerve and bounding heart?"