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  1. #21
    Phantonym
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    Yes and no. To me, not remembering a person's name and/or other details they've shared with me personally means that there isn't enough respect from my part. And I expect that from the other person as well. So, being absent minded is not really an excuse because you haven't made any significant efforts to remember things. And the feeling of embarrassment is strong and unpleasant enough to try not to experience that frequently.

    I used to be a lot worse when younger, in from one ear, out the other, even when I did try to remember things like that. Now I just try to pay attention and say the name over and over in my mind along with trying to imprint their face into my mind. It's like a small file in my head and whenever I meet the person, I go over the details again, so that they wouldn't slip my mind. And it works.

    But sometimes, if I am careless or unless I write the most important stuff down, they're gone.

  2. #22
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    I'm notorious for forgetting names, numbers, most details in record time. I often need to write things down. I can't remember a 3 digit number for more than 5 minutes.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    To me, not remembering a person's name and/or other details they've shared with me personally means that there isn't enough respect from my part. And I expect that from the other person as well. So, being absent minded is not really an excuse because you haven't made any significant efforts to remember things.
    A person's name is superficial.
    A conversation is not.

    I can remember a conversation I had with someone from 15 years ago, but I can't remember their name to save my life.
    When I see that person, they fall over in shock that I remember our entire conversation.
    Paying attention to content is infinitely more meaningful to me than remembering their name is Bob.

    I could say the same of books.
    I remember stories and large amounts of information, but the title of the book can elude me.

    Thank God for Google.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    A person's name is superficial.
    A conversation is not.

    I can remember a conversation I had with someone from 15 years ago, but I can't remember their name to save my life.
    When I see that person, they fall over in shock that I remember our entire conversation.
    Paying attention to content is infinitely more meaningful to me than remembering their name is Bob.

    I could say the same of books.
    I remember stories and large amounts of information, but the title of the book can elude me.

    Thank God for Google.


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  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    A person's name is superficial.
    A conversation is not.

    I can remember a conversation I had with someone from 15 years ago, but I can't remember their name to save my life.
    When I see that person, they fall over in shock that I remember our entire conversation.
    Paying attention to content is infinitely more meaningful to me than remembering their name is Bob.
    Of course a conversation and the content is more meaningful than solely remembering the name.

    But people are different. I wasn't only talking about the name but other personal "superficial" information as well. Why ask or tell people anything personal and waste time on something you already know you/they will not bother to remember and use the same questions over and over again just a way to fill the gaps in conversation? I've had numerous encounters with people who do that and I consider it disrespectful even when the overall conversation is meaningful.

    That's my take on the matter and I do make an effort to remember the "superficial" things as well because for me, connecting a name to a face and the meaning the person has for me through conversations make up the whole picture. Just as a computer file and its meaningful contents are useless if I don't find the file because I can't remember the name. Yes, people and everything connected to them are files in my mind.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Lacey's Avatar
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    I always remember faces (weird, since I'm not really a visual person) but names are harder. If I'm in a situation where I'm meeting a lot of people at once, and I have lots of names to remember...ugh. I do try to make an effort to remember though, since it can make people feel bad if you don't. I know it kind of makes me feel bad sometimes.

  7. #27
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Terrible with names, good with faces.
    Something Witty

  8. #28
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sofmarhof View Post
    I realized that it's mostly because I flat out don't pay any attention when people tell me their names, rather than because I forget.
    This, to a degree, but then too someone's name is one of those details I have to make a focused effort to retain. And to make the focused effort, that means I have to be focusing beforehand, and usually when I'm introduced to people it's so spur-of-the-moment that I haven't 'prepared' myself mentally to retain the information.

    Like, this morning..ha...so funny...I was at my new job and one of the employees there just walked up and introduced himself to me, and I realized the minute he said his name, and I followed up with mine, I'd already forgotten his. It's like I was forgetting it while he was saying it. He was cute, though. I think that was part of the problem. I was all excited he came up to me. But now next time I see him, I won't be able to greet him with his actual name. oops.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  9. #29
    morose bourgeoisie
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    What I do:

    Think of a word that sounds like the person's name and associate it with some feature.

    For instance: I meet Mike. I remember his name by seeing his head as a giant microphone.

    Alice has pretty brown eyes. I see lace coming out of those eyes. Or lice.

    Dorothy: I see the lead character from the Wiz 'o Oz, with Toto humping her leg.

    the wierder or more sexual the image, the more likely it will stick. the hard part is remembering to apply the technique, but it works.

  10. #30
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    For me, there seems to be a correlation between my level of one-on-one interactions with people and being able to remember their names.

    An example from my own personal experiences could be when my mom was remarried in '08. Her husband's family is this giant Greek family, so you can imagine how huge the reception had been, how many blood relatives showed up and milled about, and spoke to me in the course of 5 or so hours. It was a blur of humans, mostly.

    I still don't know most of their names, I hardly recall their faces. I mean, if I saw them again, I'd recognize them, but I doubt I'd remember their names. It's nothing personal; I think it's just an aspect of my individual learning process. [That said, I rarely mind if someone needs help recalling my name or other details.]

    The only people from that function whose name I can recall, are the people who interacted with me, say, a bit more indepth. My stepfather's cousin, her husband, her son.. We discussed more than just, "hello, great party.. nice shoes. Blahblahblah"

    I learned new things about those people, so their identity had more meaning to me, perhaps. Committing them to memory was automatic.
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