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Thread: INFJ withdrawal

  1. #11
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I withdraw when I'm overwhelmed with something I can't immediately figure out and when I don't entirely know what my thoughts/feelings are regarding a relationship. I guess this is a level of stress...sort of...even though externally I'm still fine going about my daily life, job, etc. But the uncertainty internally just results in my having *NO* desire, really, to interact with anyone on a social level - I just feel so off-kilter or overly emotional/confused- especially with the person/relationship I might be tossing around in my mind, trying to make headway out of. I just don't want to talk with them; and I think the state i am ins' comment on *resentment* is interesting, as that's one of the emotions that I don't want to taint the interaction with, thus withdrawal is quite preferable, esp. for the other party, because frankly I'm not in a positive frame to even want to talk to them.

    So the withdrawal is primarily because I don't know yet what I think/feel, with possible negative emotions such as resentment. I need to figure it out on my own and figure out what I want or need, etc, or whether I'm overreacting, or under-reacting, being fair or unfair, reasonable or not, justified in my feelings, is the relationship 'working' for both of us or not, am I being ridiculous to even fixate on all of it in the first place......need time to sift through all of that.

    As the-state alludes to, the withdrawal can easily lead to more imbalance, even though it is my natural instinct and I WANT to crawl into my shell and don't WANT to interact with people. But yeah, often-times being pulled out (assuming it's by a person other than the one I'm mulling over in my mind) or making a conscious effort, ourselves, to stay active, exercise, more engaged with the external world, can be of more use than going into analytical introverted-cave-antisocial mode.
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  2. #12
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    At the time of INFJ withdrawal for pondering, what would you want from a potential romantic interest? I'm not sure if the pondering concerns me or life in general. It's not quite a withdrawal but a hiding of sorts. Communication has slowed but is there is one form or another, the INFJ seems stressed and exhausted and generally less hopeful towards life. I'd like to be able to help in any way I can but just don't know how. Giving space for now but not sure if this is what the INFJ needs or wants. You lovely, complex creatures - darn you and your attractiveness!

  3. #13
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    At the time of INFJ withdrawal for pondering, what would you want from a potential romantic interest? I'm not sure if the pondering concerns me or life in general. It's not quite a withdrawal but a hiding of sorts. Communication has slowed but is there is one form or another, the INFJ seems stressed and exhausted and generally less hopeful towards life. I'd like to be able to help in any way I can but just don't know how. Giving space for now but not sure if this is what the INFJ needs or wants. You lovely, complex creatures - darn you and your attractiveness!
    to be honest, i find enfps are the best type at bringing me out of this kind of rut/rudderlessness. in a romantic relationship, i have no idea how this would work, but in my experience with enfps outside of that context, their ability to recognize me, draw me out, send messages to me thru all my own filth, makes them very attractive and desirable people to be around. entps are great too, for similar reasons, although they do more to help me combat them in my own langauge of reason, whereas enfps are great at recognizing and affirming with Fi. when Fi asserts that you have a special place within it, that you are part of its subjective truth, well, it's always been very good at getting me back on track. and making me believe in the world again. the color starts to come back and the world feels fresh, exciting, full of possibilities again.

    in a romantic situation, i need the ability to find my own truth, and i think it has to do with sx and feel merged and losing touch with myself. meaning, i merge so fully i can lose the ability to hear myself, lose grounding in my own objective reality. sp withdrawal helps me dissolve and connect with somethign greater, lose myself, forget myself, and it's very renewing when i recompile myself/put myself back together.

  4. #14
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    How long this period of "withdrawal" could last ? In the worst case.
    And what if she realize that she don't have enough data to make things clear ? Or realize that she arrived to an Erroneous conclusions at the end or didn't envisage all the possibilities ?

    And above all...can she move out in spite of the fact that she didn't make things clear even for her ?

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