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Thread: INFP in an Extroverted Household

  1. #11
    :) Array INFtha14's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
    6w7 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Lacey View Post
    My mom doesn't do this exact thing, but it reminded me of this:

    My mom talks a lot. Which isn't a big deal. She usually talks about interesting stuff (and she doesn't completely dominate the conversation). But sometimes she tends to tell me stories/things I already know or have already heard...and for some reason I can't STAND that. I guess I'd just rather not waste time being re-told something? I get really impatient. So I'll say things like, "Yeah, Mom, I already know that." It makes her soooo mad. Which is understandable, because it sounds pretty snotty. hahaWhen my mom would pick me up from dance classes, she would always ask me all these questions about it. What I really wanted to do was sit in silence on the way home, because I wanted to reflect on/process what had happened in class. I couldn't really communicate that very well at the time, so I would just say things like, "It was fine," and leave it at that. It drove her crazy. My poor mother. haha"Overstimulated" is an excellent word. And I do the opposite...I stay up really late to get extra alone time. I know! haha I found it randomly and absolutely fell in love with it. It's become something of a mantra to me...reminds me not to care too much about what people think.

    haha I know what your talking about. The old " ooh Dots I wanted to tell you something..." and it's something she just needs to keep going over and over and over via ranting.

    I understand the 20 questions, whenever she'd pick me up from school and I just wanted to just sit for a few minutes to take it all in.

    I'd do the same thing "it was fine" How was your test today? " I think it went well, I don't know yet" or Did you get the results back? what were they? " Shows paper or tells just the percentage XD if I knew and If I didn't I'd say "i don't know yet".

    I'll do stuff like that on like weekends after I get back from seeing my friends.
    Just cause it's so nice to have that alone time.

    My 3 college roommates last year were all extroverts. ENTJ, ESFJ, and ESFP are my guesses. It was a really good experience for me. I didn't necessarily get out more, but they invited a lot of people in. It did stress me out at times, but I did my best to socialize. (If I really had to, I would just hide up in my room and pretend I had a lot of homework or something.)

    There was a tiny problem at first with my need to withdraw...with the ESFJ especially. (The ENTJ had lived with me for 2 years prior, so she already knew...the ESFP and I didn't really "click", we got along, but never really hung out much.) I think she was a little worried about me. I just had to explain myself, basically. "Yeah, I'm introverted, so I need a lot of alone time or I lose my mind! It's not because I don't like you!" "Oh, okay. Whenever you feel like you want company come find me." I love her; she's such a sweetheart.

    You got to love healthy ESFJs, once they understand something about you and it's how you work personally. They will bend over backwards just to make sure your happy.

    It's nice cause you can be yourself in a seemingly unaccepting world of introverts with balanced ESFJs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kastor View Post
    My mom doesn't understand how I'm relaxed about most things, especially school. If she confronts me about not doing well in school or something, I'll usually reply calmly, which she seems to take as carelessness. She gets worked up over EVERYTHING, I rarely get worked up at all. So I guess, in her view, if you're not getting all worked up and emotional over something, then you probably don't care. It's so absurd, like she wants to get that rise out of me.
    Oh my... I could of wrote this.

    My mother is the same way *eSFJ* and boy is the overreaction ever present to anything in her sight. Personally like you I don't really get worked up over much either and I've seen at times her really just waiting in anticipation after telling me something like she's expecting a dramatic display of response.

    Nah...XD. My poor mother and telling me seemingly interesting things
    just to get a "cool" response of " Oh that's neat/really? or the famous " ooh..." maybe i'll ask a question or two as i'd be seriously curious at times.
    But very nonchalant, all while doing so. It drives her batty cause i'm not meeting her level of expression in dramatic flair perhaps.

    Nothing ticks me off faster than manipulative Fe games. That's why I prefer the healthy SFJs .
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array Parrish's Avatar
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    Dec 2009


    I`m not in an extraverted household, but I did notice ALL of my close friends are E`s.Weird.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kastor View Post
    ...So I guess, in her view, if you're not getting all worked up and emotional over something, then you probably don't care. It's so absurd, like she wants to get that rise out of me.
    haha, I know what you mean My mom is the same way (she tested as ISTJ). She compares me to her coworkers kids, who just happen to be going to the same college as I am, but are studying all the time and doing so great and have good grades and whatnot. If I happen to mention how others did on a test she`ll say "I don`t care how others did". Talk about double standards:rolli: She thinks I don`t care, but I do, I just don`t wanna wallow in misplaced self-pity. I try to be calm about it, but sometimes she just can`t let it go and mentally pokes at me until I burst out in a sudden fit. Then she`ll tell me there`s no need to get so worked up upon which I usually storm away to hide my anger-driven tears.

    Or she`ll just casually tell me to come sit beside her (and I think she`s trying to be affectionate), the minute I sit down beside her on the sofa, she`ll just drop the bomb, like "Oh, you know that girl that was in the same year as you? *sting* Well she`s already going around with a senior, listening to trials." *sting*

    My dad (who tested as ESTJ) is usually the one who just sits there observing the situation unless he`s mad and is in prosecutor mode. The last time he brought up the "talk" himself was while we were driving home alone. He totally had me cornered. I give him some credit for that one.

    I mean I really love them and I think I`m lucky to have such a great family, but they sure know how to push my buttons. I don`t think anyone else, not even the closest friends ever saw/made me react like that. I usually control the raw emotions and notice when my mood changes.

    For instance, a common situation: My brother comes home from work;
    B:heey, I`m home. (is loud)
    Me: Yeah *grumble*
    B:I`m hooooome. (even louder)
    Me:YEAH! *annoyed*
    B: (usually repeats it a few more times, but knows I heard him the first time)
    B:How was your day? (really cheerfull)
    Me:Okay*grumble*. How was yours?
    B: Good. Hey, why are you in a bad mood?
    Me: I`m not. *annoyed*
    By then I usually get annoyed at myself for letting sth like that annoy me.

    I totally let the hormones take control:blushing:
    .:"Claude os, aperi oculos.":.

    "You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless, you have to hope even harder and cover your ears and go 'lalalalalalala'"- Fry (Futurama)

  3. #13
    Senior Member Array
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    Oct 2008


    It's like their in and out and always doing something fun, you just wish they'd take you with.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Array Kastor's Avatar
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    Jul 2007


    They've tried to get me to go places with them, but it's almost always sports related, and in that I have no interest whatsoever. I'll go with them to any of my little sister's school concerts, her big basketball games, and etc. for her, but that's about it and it doesn't happen very often.

  5. #15
    Junior Member Array
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    Apr 2010


    My family I grew up with was all Es and I was the artistic, moody, difficult one. In their words. I love them all (and I know they love me) but my stepdad and my sister-in-law are extreme Es and although I love being with them, I have to go take a breath outside now and then. I think they used to take offense. Now they know about MBTI and they understand me a lot better (and vice versa). What I used to do that helped:
    --excuse myself to go for a walk. If they want to come along that's fine, I might tune them out if they're chattering.
    --tell them that the chaos is hard on you, but that you love them. Just like they need you around a bit, show them that you need a bit of alone time.
    --try not to get mad or frustrated. I know this is hard. Sometimes just spending ten minutes with them after dinner buys you good graces.
    --because I was into creative fields, I would say "I gotta go think about a project". They'd for sure leave me alone then for a bit.
    --watch movies. You do it together but you don't have to talk a lot.

    hope that helps.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Array Rebe's Avatar
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    Nov 2009


    My mom is the only extroverted one in my family, but believe me that is enough, for all of us. We live in a tight space too. But, she is loud and talkative and emotional enough for all four of us. My dad and brother are both ISTJ and I am INFP, my mom is ENFJ, on the unhealthy side. She explodes and we all tip-toe around her. Another extrovert and it will be a nightmare.

  7. #17
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    Apr 2010


    Luckily, my family are all introverts.

    Me: INFP
    Dad: INTP
    Mom: ISFJ

    But, I am the only introvert among my friends, which does get very annoying when they all want to hang out and do things ALL THE TIME! And I just want to be left alone. They don't understand why I need to be alone to often.

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