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  1. #11
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    A big genuine group hug for everyone who's commented, I really appreciate your help sorting this out with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gamine View Post
    I think your Fe is warm and honest. I think it comes down to the person and the intentions behind them. You value peace and harmony, and just speaking with you in small chunks it is obvious that you are kind. Not just the gentleness that I person might show with something like Fi, but the kindness that reaches out to others in an Fe way.

    Are people mistrusting of it?
    Um...well I think there are times where my Fe comes through too loudly for people, and I sound like I care way too much about someone (not just women; anyone going through a rough spot), and so sometimes I think I become associated with the group's problem-children without ever intending to be. I don't consider that in itself a negative trait, but I do have problems with "overcare" sometimes.

    My second issue would be my thin skin. I hide my negative emotions like the plague because very few people can understand why I would be so bothered by some things. People still read me though. I come off as brooding when I don't want to be. I think this might be a detractor from my preceived popularity. I really just want to co-exist and "play well with others", but the truth is, the only difference between a Fe-dom and an Fi-dom in this case is that I can wear a mask for a time, and the Fi-doms can't.

    The last thing I can think of has been discussed below...

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    One thing I've learned from Fi users is that sometimes, when you're really down, what you really want to hear is a genuine "I'm so sorry that happened. Would some ice cream help?", and not "That person is totally wrong and mean to you. You should stay way from them from now on."

    As an Fe user myself, sometimes I find it hard not to try to 'fix' things. I think the trick is trying to figure out whether they need advice or empathy at the moment. If it's empathy they need, advice would only make them feel worse about themselves.
    ...though I've become a good listener through practice and trial/error, I still have a strong urge to fix things. I rarely get the opportunity. I become deeply upset about personnel problems within a group (when it's not my position or place to take care of them), and maybe I open my mouth a little too often. I've got a reputation for being a cynic. People think I'm bitter. But I think it's just taken me this long to realize I don't need to involve myself in the problems of a given community to be a good part of it.

    If y'all have any other thoughts, I'd be happy to hear them. I just get tired, because I realize I'm the reason why I'm left out in the cold sometimes, but I also think over time my problems will lessen more as they have over the course of the last 24 years, and I gain better control over Fe and learn how to deal with people better.

    --Fuzzy
    Love is the point.

  2. #12
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    Um...well I think there are times where my Fe comes through too loudly for people, and I sound like I care way too much about someone (not just women; anyone going through a rough spot), and so sometimes I think I become associated with the group's problem-children without ever intending to be. I don't consider that in itself a negative trait, but I do have problems with "overcare" sometimes.
    Yeah I do this. I think it boils down to the ENFJ definition of how truly connecting with people is so meaningful/important to us.

    If you see someone going through something you can relate/empathize with, you can't resist but go over and just them. You can *feel* what they are going through, even when the people around write them off on the surface as being negative etc. My friend called me a mind hippie. lol. The downside about having such a depth of caring/understanding people, is sometimes it seems they become dependent and gravitate because you make them feel better and understood.

    Then if they are doing something which is actually pretty bad, I have a hard time coming to a realization maybe I shouldn't be their friend as much. I tell myself I'm being too judgmental (because I have ridiculously high standards with everyone) and they're having human feelings like anyone else, just in a bad situation.:rolleyes2:
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  3. #13
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post

    I've had more than one Fi-user lately express to me how much they hate Fe as a dominant function. One of them even accused me of being Te from a feeling angle. ( )
    __________________


    I'M OUTTA HERE.

    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


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