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  1. #11
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Honestly? We were both highly emotional creatures and they were generally hot. God bless Diana for trying to get deep...she wasn't exactly shallow, it's just deeper things didn't appeal to her.

    I'd say healthier ESFPs make good friends (if you don't mind listening for awhile).

    --Fuzzy
    Love is the point.

  2. #12
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    I'd say ENFJs are very attracted to the silly energy of the ExxPs, but they need to stay in the friend zone or the ENFJ is going to get in over his head. :P

  3. #13
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Generally speaking, I agree with you. That's probably not true in all cases though.
    Love is the point.

  4. #14
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I have a lot of fun with ESFPs as friends. Can't say they've been all that interested in me as a romantic ideal either. But the ESTPs I know dig me, and I've been informed on more than one occasion that if they weren't so busy I'd be in trouble. ESTPs are forces of nature. You have to be built to handle THAT business. I've seen ISTJs and ISFJs (and even ESFJs) make GREAT natural compliments to them, not that other types can't hack it, just saying that the ESxPs are not to be trifled with.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #15
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    I don't like ESFP's. All the ones I've met have been stupid and shallow when it comes right down to it. They just give us feelers a bad name. It's hard to believe that they have Te as their tertiary function. Maybe, it's manifest in their bitchiness. There's always an amount of fake, nice pleasantries that they go through and then bam they hit you with a comment, not just about something you care about but about you yourself, that's such a bitch thing to say. Inconsiderate.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  6. #16
    Senior Member BlueFlame's Avatar
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    ESFP - My husband. He's actually my high school sweetheart . The good...we're both upbeat and positive most of the time, so when one of us is down, we have the other to leech off of. . We rarely fight or stay upset for more than a few minutes. Very passionate in the beginning...once he decided I was it (on the first date), he branded me and did what he deemed necessary to keep me! We always have fun no matter what we do!
    The bad...a little too needy for my taste. I don't mind giving, but when it starts feeling like a constant requirement, it makes me want to run and hide. He's one of the smartest people I know, but our intelligences are so different, we don't connect on that level.

    ESFP - During a break in my dating relationship with my SO. Had huge issues...turned out to have a bad drug problem and had the same instant attachment to me. When I tried to break up with him, he threatened to kill himself, me, my current SO, anything he could think of to get me to stay. Finally went to jail for robbery. When we were friends BEFORE he got off track, we had lots of laughs and tons of fun.

    INTP - Best friend, dated for a few months. Great connection, had an amazing time every time we were together, but he was obsessed with work and didn't really *know* how to reach out to me the way I wanted to. Horrible at validation and responding to subtlety, eventually ended in a big implosion.

    INTJ - We fought ALL the time. Liked each other a lot, but just never translated into a functional relationship. To different...too much alike.

    ~*79% Extraverted*~
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  7. #17
    Junior Member lilypad's Avatar
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    Only 2 major relationships, the second was:

    ISTP
    Bit of a mess, I would always try to talk, he would squirm! We had amazing chemistry, a great friendship too but ultimately we just could not relate. I would have my head in the clouds, he would always be quite harsh and make me feel a bit silly for dreaming. Hard to say what the main problem was that really broke us up but I guess I would always push for emotional intimacy and he just couldn't respond - that made me very insecure.

    Interestingly he really didn't come accross as an ISTP initially, he was quite loud and outgoing in public and I thought he was more on my friendly, upbeat wavelength. WORST BREAKUP EVER though. 5 years - very tragic and heartbreaking in the end.

    Does anybody here ever ask their partners to think of looking at their type - just to help improve their relationships?
    x
    “Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.”
    Stacey Charter

  8. #18
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypad View Post
    Only 2 major relationships, the second was:

    ISTP
    Bit of a mess, I would always try to talk, he would squirm! We had amazing chemistry, a great friendship too but ultimately we just could not relate. I would have my head in the clouds, he would always be quite harsh and make me feel a bit silly for dreaming. Hard to say what the main problem was that really broke us up but I guess I would always push for emotional intimacy and he just couldn't respond - that made me very insecure.

    Interestingly he really didn't come accross as an ISTP initially, he was quite loud and outgoing in public and I thought he was more on my friendly, upbeat wavelength. WORST BREAKUP EVER though. 5 years - very tragic and heartbreaking in the end.

    Does anybody here ever ask their partners to think of looking at their type - just to help improve their relationships?
    x
    I'm with an ISTP and our relationship has had similar problems from the beginning. I actually looked into typology because there was so much conflict, insecurity and confusion. It made sense when I knew we were naturally conflicting. It has helped me a lot. I have no doubt we're still together because of the the clarity that came from typing him & myself.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  9. #19
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    I've had two serious relationships, an IxTJ and an INTP.

    While the former and I were just too different (also quite young, we were in our early teens when we dated) we had a great time together. I tried desperately to engage with his passion (computers ), and so I always felt like there was this huge part of his life that was closed off to me. We had a great time together though, always laughing, and sharing common experiences. We were completely in love, I really brought out his Fi while he tried to encourage my Te, and we shared ideas and dreams on an abstract level with enough shared experiences to enjoy the concrete world in which we actually interacted. We were together for 9 months and in the end we just weren't mature enough to sustain the natural doubting period. He called me a few months after it ended claiming he was in love with me and wanted his best friend back but then never talked to me again :confused:.

    The second relationship, with the INTP, lasted almost four years. I deeply respected him and loved him, and being together facilitated tremendous personal growth for both of us. He was drawn to my charisma and passion, and I was drawn to his brilliance and ability to think globally and make connections. As a friend described it, "You love the intellectual who pairs off to your activism. It's the yin to your yang " It could get very turbulent as we communicated in fundamentally different ways: I spent those years "training" him in active listening, to give validation, and to try offering empathy instead of solutions . He taught me not to see debating ideas as a personal attack, whereas I might normally burst into tears and just shut down . But somehow we didn't have that spark. I think we could have if it wasn't entirely long-distance, but oh well... We never really were in love which makes both of us sad and resulted in him cheating on me, which is a different story. But I do miss him and he remains a close confidant, although not someone I plan to engage romantically ever again.

    It may be the enfj arrogance kicking in XD: but I've started to realize that what I'm really looking for is another person with most of the things I appreciate in myself :P I'm equally extremely turned on by Te and Fe, but something about NFs is just such a deep connection, and sometimes too much P just makes me really anxious. As if I can't trust you to understand the urgency of the things that I feel and respond to them appropriately. But it's damn hard to find male ENFJs hereabouts.
    Last edited by *poke*; 05-31-2010 at 02:34 PM.

  10. #20
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post

    ISFP: Melissa comforted me after Nichole left. We had a connection, but it was clear to me from the start that we'd probably make better friends than lovers. She ended up marrying a cool ISTP. Haven't talked with them in awhile, I think I need to give them a call...
    You know, this sounds familiar to me... except I didn't marry an ISTP.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

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