When Feeling types talk about things they care about (their Feeling values), an expression of emotion may accompany their expression of the values involved. For Introverted Feeling types, the emotion may be somewhat muted, but it is still a way of emphasizing the importance of whatever is being discussed. Extraverted Thinking types may not differentiate between Feeling as a judging process and a Feeling type's use of emotion. They may confuse using Feeling for rational decision making with sentimentality and emotionality.
This occurs because they experience their own Introverted Feeling as sentimental and emotional—as inferior
Introverted Feeling. Being in the presence of Feeling values and emotion brings ESTJs and ENTJs uncomfortably close to their own unconscious Feeling and can disrupt or hamper their ability to be effective as themselves, i.e., as Extraverted Thinking types.
When experiencing the all-or-none quality of a largely unconscious process, ESTJs and ENTJs may express seemingly excessive emotion in response to sad movies or true stories about pain and suffering. "I get all choked up by those really sentimental greeting cards," said one ENTJ, "and it feels out of control, overly sentimental, and illogical. I want sad stories to have a happy ending, even if it isn't true to life."
Extraverted Thinking types may see Feeling types as overly sensitive to criticism and as needing frequent reassurance. They may be dubious about the effectiveness of these people, fearing that their judgment may be faulty or that their emotions will inappropriately influence their decisions—again confusing rational Feeling judgment with emotion. Since Extraverted Thinking types distrust their own judgment when emotion rules them, they assume the same unreliability is true for dominant Feeling types.
ESTJs and ENTJs report being quite uncomfortable with their own and others' Feeling judgment. "It seems mushy and chaotic and scary, not crisp and precise like thinking," said one ENTJ. An ESTJ described her uneasiness about expressing appreciation or complimenting others verbally: "I never know how much is appropriate. It always feels gushy." She found writing thank you notes to be much more satisfying both personally and to the recipients, who recognized the genuine depth of her feelings.
Because their opposites, Introverted Feeling types, are so hard to "read" Extraverted Thinking types may judge Extraverted Feeling types, who readily express their dominant Feeling, more harshly than they do Introverted Feeling types. Introverted Feeling types are more muted in their expression of Feeling. ESTJs and ENTJs tend to see people who readily express Feeling as excessive, phony, and manipulative. When they are around an Introverted Feeling type, they may feel off-balance, needing to "walk on eggshells" and afraid of being misunderstood or of unintentionally offending the person.
But more often they may ignore Introverted Feeling types because they don't express themselves directly. As we will see, the sensitivities of Extraverted Thinking types toward both of the dominant Feeling types (Extraverted Feeling types and Introverted Feeling types) are reflected in the expression of their own inferior Feeling.