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Thread: ENFJ + INFJ

  1. #1
    Member bronson's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ + INFJ

    Tell me... would it work?

    We have the same functions in different order.

    What could potentially go right?


    What could potentially go horribly wrong?

    ta

  2. #2
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I wanted to stab the INFJ I briefly dated in the eye.

    However, I don't think it was becuase he was an INFJ, I think it is becuase he was not a healthy, well balanced individual. He was very insistant that I conform to his idealistic views and could just NOT accept when I disagreed with his way of thinking....he was right and I was wrong in his mind. He also seemed detached from his emotions which was troublesome to me.

    In spite of all of this, I think a well-balanced INFJ would still be decent match for me. We did have lots in common in terms of how we proccessed things and our focus on people and relationships. Our issues stemmed from his inability to accept my opinions as meaningful or valuable in any way.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
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    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
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    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%
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  3. #3
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    The chemistry is awesome in an ENFJ-INFJ relationship. Even if I was just friends with an ENFJ I'd find that there was a real spark. It can work, providing that both are healthy individuals. They have plenty in common and they understand each other quite well. The ENFJ will bring out a more extraverted side in the INFJ as the INFJ feels safe around the ENFJ and will come out of their shell more. The INFJ provides the ENFJ will much needed support. ENFJs are givers by nature and are often drained by people as they just seem to take and not give anything back. I have found that ENFJs need to talk about their feelings and the INFJ will be more than happy to drop anything to listen to them. And the ENFJ will do the same for the INFJ and motivate the INFJ to be more confident about themselves.
    However, this pairing can go horribly wrong if on or both of the individuals are unhealthy. Both of these types can be manipulative. They both know how people work, what to say and how to press people's buttons. A lot use this for good, to try and help people and bring out the best in them...but they can also abuse their position for personal gain. But apart from that the pairing can be a lot of fun
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    Supreme High Commander Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bronson View Post
    Tell me... would it work?

    We have the same functions in different order.

    What could potentially go right?


    What could potentially go horribly wrong?

    ta
    I think it would make a great tag team for achieving a particular goal they share. Not so sure if it would work romantically. They are perhaps a bit too similar. Maybe though.

  5. #5
    Junior Member ralleycat's Avatar
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    I could see it working. I know I'm attracted to ENFJ's anyway, probs because they can be quite encouraging and affectionate (more than me anyway) and can bring me out of my shell a bit. Plus the NF thing means you'd be totally in synch.

    I've never understood this idea that a feeler should go for a thinker - I just wouldn't be able to relate to them

  6. #6
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Well, life is a journey. And obviously you shouldn't limit your attractions by typology! Having said, that, I perceive infj/enfj as almost incest. I DO prefer similar types as close friends, but as I'm working on developing my Ti (my supposed tert function), I could see that broadening a bit now.

    I think that similar types are safe, or safer for one's pyche. I think they can be a good sounding board if you are in a place where you don't want too much conflict in communication or don't have much energy to expend in a relationship. I also think, and this is definitely not everyone's experience, obviously, that to be fully challenged and thrive as a well-rounded individual, or to explore all the little places that exist in yourself that you (one) are perhaps not even aware of, you would do better with a type who perceives and judges data in an opposite manner. But that's me. I like to be challenged in various ways. It comes down to that I think. What do you need right now? If we live until we are 80, and we start having relationship at 20, we have many years to relate intimately with others, and why limit it to one or two or three individuals? If you want that to be one person however, one s.o., you might find someone of opposite disposition is preferred to get you through the long haul. Shorter-term relationships, as they relate to type, are of not as much consequence.
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    Junior Member ralleycat's Avatar
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    @aphrodite

    I see what u mean about the similarity but the things that are least apparent in my infj-ness are the most apparent in enfj-ness if you get what I mean.

    Probably not...that was a bit vague...

    also - the thing they possess is emotional openess which if they could give me would round me out a bit. see what i mean?

    sorry i've sort of hijacked the thread. it's just i've got my eye on an enfj
    Last edited by ralleycat; 02-01-2010 at 02:09 PM. Reason: add something

  8. #8
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ralleycat View Post
    @aphrodite

    I see what u mean about the similarity but the things that are least apparent in my infj-ness are the most apparent in enfj-ness if you get what I mean.

    Probably not...that was a bit vague...

    also - the thing they possess is emotional openess which if they could give me would round me out a bit. see what i mean?

    sorry i've sort of hijacked the thread. it's just i've got my eye on an enfj

    Well, I am a firm believer in following attraction through if possible. Let us know how it goes. I've not really heard enfjs are necessarily open about their inner feelings, it just appears like they are open because they engage people easily. I've heard they can be quite private.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  9. #9
    Junior Member ralleycat's Avatar
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    But I am ridiculously curious about others (i'm a snoop basically) so I will find out about them and hopefully they will find out about me.

    thnx for wishing me luck. Shall go and text him now and start on my masterplan

  10. #10
    Member Ethelred the Unready's Avatar
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    I'm an ENFJ and my partner of 10 years is INFJ...we've got our ups and downs but I can't imagine a better and more understanding partner...and I think this sentiment is reciprocated
    We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull; some have weird names and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.

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