• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFJ] ENFJ + INFJ

bronson

New member
Joined
Nov 2, 2009
Messages
93
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w4
Tell me... would it work?

We have the same functions in different order.

What could potentially go right?


What could potentially go horribly wrong?

ta
 

JoSunshine

That's my name biotch!
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
659
MBTI Type
eNfj
Enneagram
2
I wanted to stab the INFJ I briefly dated in the eye.

However, I don't think it was becuase he was an INFJ, I think it is becuase he was not a healthy, well balanced individual. He was very insistant that I conform to his idealistic views and could just NOT accept when I disagreed with his way of thinking....he was right and I was wrong in his mind. He also seemed detached from his emotions which was troublesome to me.

In spite of all of this, I think a well-balanced INFJ would still be decent match for me. We did have lots in common in terms of how we proccessed things and our focus on people and relationships. Our issues stemmed from his inability to accept my opinions as meaningful or valuable in any way.
 

HollyGolightly

New member
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
The chemistry is awesome in an ENFJ-INFJ relationship. Even if I was just friends with an ENFJ I'd find that there was a real spark. It can work, providing that both are healthy individuals. They have plenty in common and they understand each other quite well. The ENFJ will bring out a more extraverted side in the INFJ as the INFJ feels safe around the ENFJ and will come out of their shell more. The INFJ provides the ENFJ will much needed support. ENFJs are givers by nature and are often drained by people as they just seem to take and not give anything back. I have found that ENFJs need to talk about their feelings and the INFJ will be more than happy to drop anything to listen to them. And the ENFJ will do the same for the INFJ and motivate the INFJ to be more confident about themselves.
However, this pairing can go horribly wrong if on or both of the individuals are unhealthy. Both of these types can be manipulative. They both know how people work, what to say and how to press people's buttons. A lot use this for good, to try and help people and bring out the best in them...but they can also abuse their position for personal gain. But apart from that the pairing can be a lot of fun :)
 

Andy

Supreme High Commander
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
1,211
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Tell me... would it work?

We have the same functions in different order.

What could potentially go right?


What could potentially go horribly wrong?

ta

I think it would make a great tag team for achieving a particular goal they share. Not so sure if it would work romantically. They are perhaps a bit too similar. Maybe though.
 

ralleycat

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
8
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w4
I could see it working. I know I'm attracted to ENFJ's anyway, probs because they can be quite encouraging and affectionate (more than me anyway) and can bring me out of my shell a bit. Plus the NF thing means you'd be totally in synch.

I've never understood this idea that a feeler should go for a thinker - I just wouldn't be able to relate to them
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Well, life is a journey. And obviously you shouldn't limit your attractions by typology! Having said, that, I perceive infj/enfj as almost incest. :) I DO prefer similar types as close friends, but as I'm working on developing my Ti (my supposed tert function), I could see that broadening a bit now.

I think that similar types are safe, or safer for one's pyche. I think they can be a good sounding board if you are in a place where you don't want too much conflict in communication or don't have much energy to expend in a relationship. I also think, and this is definitely not everyone's experience, obviously, that to be fully challenged and thrive as a well-rounded individual, or to explore all the little places that exist in yourself that you (one) are perhaps not even aware of, you would do better with a type who perceives and judges data in an opposite manner. But that's me. I like to be challenged in various ways. It comes down to that I think. What do you need right now? If we live until we are 80, and we start having relationship at 20, we have many years to relate intimately with others, and why limit it to one or two or three individuals? If you want that to be one person however, one s.o., you might find someone of opposite disposition is preferred to get you through the long haul. Shorter-term relationships, as they relate to type, are of not as much consequence.
 

ralleycat

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
8
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w4
@aphrodite

I see what u mean about the similarity but the things that are least apparent in my infj-ness are the most apparent in enfj-ness if you get what I mean.

Probably not...that was a bit vague...

also - the thing they possess is emotional openess which if they could give me would round me out a bit. see what i mean?

sorry i've sort of hijacked the thread. it's just i've got my eye on an enfj;)
 
Last edited:

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
@aphrodite

I see what u mean about the similarity but the things that are least apparent in my infj-ness are the most apparent in enfj-ness if you get what I mean.

Probably not...that was a bit vague...

also - the thing they possess is emotional openess which if they could give me would round me out a bit. see what i mean?

sorry i've sort of hijacked the thread. it's just i've got my eye on an enfj;)


Well, I am a firm believer in following attraction through if possible. Let us know how it goes. I've not really heard enfjs are necessarily open about their inner feelings, it just appears like they are open because they engage people easily. I've heard they can be quite private.
 

ralleycat

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
8
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w4
But I am ridiculously curious about others (i'm a snoop basically) so I will find out about them and hopefully they will find out about me.

thnx for wishing me luck. Shall go and text him now and start on my masterplan;)
 
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w3
I'm an ENFJ and my partner of 10 years is INFJ...we've got our ups and downs but I can't imagine a better and more understanding partner...and I think this sentiment is reciprocated :cheese:
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
ENFJ.. How to reach your INFJ partner

- Recognize and accept you partners need for private space and quiet time, especially if he/she is
under a lot of pressure.

- Encourage your INFJ to peruse their interests, activities , and friendships.

-Listen fully and completely when your INFJ is talking, Don't do anything else but look in their eyes.

- Compliment you INFJ on their many great ideas and visions.

- Try not to pressure your INFJ into any social event they might want to opt out of.

-Try to not be too involved in other commitments. Put your INFJ first.



INFJ... How to reach your ENFJ partner.

- Share your reactions, thoughts and especially feelings, right away. Try not to withdraw.

-Encourage your partner to peruse his/her own interests activities and friendships.

-Try to accompany your ENFJ on activities away from home. Admit when you are tired so your ENFJ wont take it personally.

-Be carfeful not to become too tried from personal activities, that you have no energy left for your ENFJ.

- Encourage your ENFJ to think out loud. Be a receptive and attentive sounding board.


From .. Just MY Type
 

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
I think it's heaven. Any time I meet an ENFJ, there is usually an instant "click" type relationship. I feel totally safe and find it easy to communicate.

I will never understand why people like to be "challenged to grow" by their significant other. I think life is difficult enough. With all the marriages that end, why pick someone you have trouble communicating with? I prefer to have home be peaceful, and then if I want to be challenged I can go off into the world and be challenged, but I certainly don't want that at home.
 
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w3
ENFJ.. How to reach your INFJ partner

- Recognize and accept you partners need for private space and quiet time, especially if he/she is
under a lot of pressure.

- Encourage your INFJ to peruse their interests, activities , and friendships.

-Listen fully and completely when your INFJ is talking, Don't do anything else but look in their eyes.

- Compliment you INFJ on their many great ideas and visions.

- Try not to pressure your INFJ into any social event they might want to opt out of.

-Try to not be too involved in other commitments. Put your INFJ first.



INFJ... How to reach your ENFJ partner.

- Share your reactions, thoughts and especially feelings, right away. Try not to withdraw.

-Encourage your partner to peruse his/her own interests activities and friendships.

-Try to accompany your ENFJ on activities away from home. Admit when you are tired so your ENFJ wont take it personally.

-Be carfeful not to become too tried from personal activities, that you have no energy left for your ENFJ.

- Encourage your ENFJ to think out loud. Be a receptive and attentive sounding board.


From .. Just MY Type

Arclight - thank you very, very much for that :) It's brilliant :)
 
Top