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  1. #11
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    I bet this is hell on Fe-leads.
    It tends to be. But that's not really our fault.

    We automatically seek to conform to the emotional standard in the room.
    I don't think conforming was ever our purpose.

    When a Fi-dom goes all nutso to see if the Fe-dom is for real, the Fe-dom ends up going on quite an unwanted, and reactive roller coaster ride until they plant their tent stake in the ground and end up going emo-neutral until the Fi-storm ends.
    Wait, what?

    Fi-doms don't usually Fi-storm unless its pertaining to one of our values being violated. As far as I know, we certainly don't "Fi-storm" every time we come across someone who's fake. That would take way too much energy, and it's not worth it for the most part.

    In other words, that's probably not a great method to use on us if you plan on keeping us as friends. You don't have Ni though...so I don't really know what else you'd use.
    I don't know what Ni has to do with this.

    To clarify, we Fi users don't defy the collective emotions of the group just because. If we are, it's not intentional. We're probably getting a sense that something isn't right about the current situation or that something is false. We can't gloss over those feelings, and in that case ignoring the individual would go against a core belief. We use our Fi to help us judge social situations and to see how the world fits within our own value system. We trust it and what it tells us, like you with your Fe and Ni. We only go "nutso" if we feel something is wrong and is being ignored. Perhaps if the Fe user asked the Fi-dom about the sudden Fi-storm, there wouldn't be miscommunication? By the way, what does Fi "nutso"-ness even mean? What does that look like? I'm intrigued.

  2. #12
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    When a Fi user starts going to emotional extremes to "shake you down" for the "truth", to serve the same purpose as Ni in "seeing through vales". That's the impression I got anyway. Is that what you meant?

    So uh, yeah, that was totally my bad. Was a knee-jerk reaction.
    Love is the point.

  3. #13
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    A lot of this stuff sounds like enneagram 4 stuff just fyi.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #14
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post


    When a Fi user starts going to emotional extremes to "shake you down" for the "truth", to serve the same purpose as Ni in "seeing through vales". That's the impression I got anyway. Is that what you meant?

    I just know that there's nothing I hate more than being jerked around...I had a Fi user do that to me once a long long time ago, and as far as I know, I wasn't being fake.

    Also, I've discovered a vast majority of INFPs, way more socially healthy than that person. So...my bad, that just hit a nerve... :rolli:
    Hmm, I think you can call someone on something without being histrionic about it.

    I do think it's tough on Fe users to be put on the spot about being "genuine." From what I understand, Fe users are often aware of the emotions of the group or other person at the expense of being aware of their own emotional state. Their emotional mirroring/participation may not have the same commitment behind it as an Fi user acting in according with deeply held values.

    (Note that we INFPs get in trouble by just retreating into passivity rather than openly disagreeing -- that gets read as agreement, sometimes. So not like we are always up-front about making sure our actions mesh with our internal opinions, either.)

    Still, I think that an Fe user's emotional mirroring/participation is different from intent to deceive or manipulate. I hope that an Fi user will give the benefit of a doubt where motivation is unclear. Still, calling someone on their behavior is mostly an invitation for them to be direct and explain where they are coming from. Nothing wrong with being direct and assertive where it can lead to clearer communication (and hopefully better understanding in the long run).

  5. #15
    Senior Member GirlFromMars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    A lot of this stuff sounds like enneagram 4 stuff just fyi.
    Which part of the stuff?
    INFP~ 4w5 ~ sx/sp ~ IEI ~ Libra

  6. #16
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    When a Fi user starts going to emotional extremes to "shake you down" for the "truth", to serve the same purpose as Ni in "seeing through vales". That's the impression I got anyway. Is that what you meant?
    Well, you got some things wrong. We don't go through emotional extremes for anyone. We're working out our own emotional crap that has nothing to do with anyone else. When we're trying to figure out whether or not we can trust someone, we don't come off as "nutso" so much as fickle. There's definitely a difference. In other words, we don't go through emotional extremes to test other people's trust or loyalty. Those extremes may come in response to someone whom we feel we can't trust, but I don't even understand toying with someone emotionally to see if they will finally "see the light."

    Plus, only you ENJs do the "shake down." You're much more assertive that we are. What we do is definitely more stealthy and passive.

    I hope that was clearer. If not, PM so we don't derail this thread anymore .

  7. #17
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlFromMars View Post
    Which part of the stuff?
    This stuff-

    1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

    2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

    4. Do you often feel lonely?

    6. Do you consider yourself unique?

    8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

    10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #18
    Glycerine
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    +100000. I've noticed E4's can be real emotional roller coasters sometimes.... going from one extreme to the other.

  9. #19
    Senior Member GirlFromMars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    +100000. I've noticed E4's can be real emotional roller coasters sometimes.... going from one extreme to the other.
    This is true.
    INFP~ 4w5 ~ sx/sp ~ IEI ~ Libra

  10. #20
    Junior Member teacups&cupcakes's Avatar
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    1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?
    Yep.

    2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?
    Yes, yes.


    3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?
    It's only super frustrating when they live by those things religiously.

    4. Do you often feel lonely?
    When I'm by myself I don't feel lonely but when I am with a crowd then I often do.


    5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so exicted thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?
    Haha, this always happens to me because it keeps me awake at night and the idea doesn't even get followed through.

    6. Do you consider yourself unique?
    Everyone's unique . I do consider myself weird, mainly because I get commented on my odd behaviour by 99% of the people I know.

    7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?
    I usually imagine what their pain must be like and I usually find some feeling or emotion that I know to match with that so I kind of feel their pain.

    8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?
    Not really. I really dislike house music and country music though.

    9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?
    Nope.

    10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!
    Probably not.

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