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Thread: INFP + INFP

  1. #41
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    I think INFP+INFP can be nicely summed up with the description of
    the the Type 4 + Type 4 description.

    Unknown at the time of the relationship that we are both INFPs as we were both not very healthy. My ex partner and I and
    our relationship is almost perfectly described in this.. the good and bad

    * Type Four-Type Four

    As with all double-type relationships, two Fours generally bring the same qualities to each other. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts.
    Double Four pairs generally make good friends and deep friendship is something they often bring to their intimate relationships. Fours often feel misunderstood, yet feel a special bond of understanding with other Fours. They share stories of their childhood traumas, their private dreams and disappointments. Both types are openly emotional and sensitive to the needs of the other. Both are looking for adequate mirroring and in a double Four relationship, they have a real possibility of finding it.
    Because each person in a double Four couple is so attuned to their own emotions, there is a great deal of sensitivity and respect for individuality and each other's emotional needs. They have the ability to laugh at themselves and to find amusement with each other in the dark loneliness of the childhood and adolescence. They are not put off by unearthing deep psychological and personal issues. Both are encouraging of the artistic and creative efforts of the other and find it easy to communicate about the most private and intimate issues as they arise. They feel that their relationship is a truly safe space where the other is on a similar emotional wavelength: both feel less alone and less like something is wrong with them personally.
    Double Fours are highly romantic and idealistic as a couple and their intimacy has the potential to grow into a grand passion of virtually operatic proportions. Emotional ups and downs, hopes and disappointments, elation and despair tend to make this couple more focused on itself than on practical life, child raising, or their careers. Enormous candor, deep friendship, and consideration for the unique history and emotional needs of the other would be hallmarks of this relationship.

    Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

    Emotional instability of the relationship itself is the main potential problem with a double Four intimate couple. Each person can be self-absorbed and excruciatingly aware of what he or she is getting (and not getting) in the relationship. Both want to be the focus of attention regarding emotional issues. Both want special handling—and insist on having special needs and they can resent the other for demanding the same for themselves. Both long for an ideal mate—and the feeling that one has found it—can alternate with depression (and other reactions) when expectations are disappointed. They can get into "Who's more damaged?" contests, a form of negative competition. Both are more or less secretly looking for a rescuer and can get lost in a morass of emotional drama even if they find one.
    For all of their potential sensitivity, Fours also tend to withdraw from others and to withhold their attention and affection when they are having a conflict with someone. Fours have a profound lack of trust in others, and this lack of trust can extend even to their intimate partner. A period of testing will invariably happen that may be too much for the other Four to bear. They can be annoyed by the other's quirks and "sensitivities" and unacknowledged demands. They can be intolerant of the other, making each other walk on eggshells, ironically making it difficult to bring up certain issues with the other.
    Double Fours can become moody and incommunicative, passive-aggressive, and disdainful, actually hating the very person they may have been so passionately in love with. Rejecting the other (and feeling rejected) can alternate from both parties. Arguments can spiral out of control and hurtful things get said until reconciliation becomes difficult, if not impossible. Once certain things are said in the heat of the moment, they can never be taken back. Permanent damage is done to feelings of trust and safety—and to the future of the relationship. Once hope for the relationship dies, it is difficult to resuscitate.


  2. #42
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    ^

    We're not in a romantic relationship but its almost uncanny how the above applies almost verbatim to the the relationship between myself and my closest friend. She's a 38yr-old INFP lawyer and I'm a (n almost) 24yr-old IsFP marketer yet if you saw us interact, you'd think we were separated at birth. We're pretty much each other's platonic soulmates... if that makes sense.

  3. #43
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    i've noticed that with my INFP female friends there's a thelma & louise "fuck everybody else" kind of vibe between us.
    but minus the whole killing part.

  4. #44
    Junior Member linnifae's Avatar
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    Hmm I don't know if I've dated an INFP (I don't think so..?) the best relationships I have been in have been with people who were very unlike myself. I dated one INtP and he and were always basically competing over who had it the worst. We brought out each other's mental issues a bit too much I hate to admit.

    Now I have many INFP friends online (mostly female) and I adore them! <3

  5. #45
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    LOL, No offense to you all, but I sense at least for me, that INFP + INFP is a place I shouldn't go.
    Friends, though, no questions asked. The only confirmed male INFP I ever met, whilist being a fascination for me, was not love interest material. I really wanted to pick apart his brain though, and he felt the same way about me. Who knows what would have happened if we weren't both leaving the country. I still think it would have spelt disaster, I reckon I need some one to compliment my strengths, not perhaps highlight my weaknesses.
    Plus I need some one to remind me to pay the bills....on time.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #46
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    LOL, No offense to you all, but I sense at least for me, that INFP + INFP is a place I shouldn't go.
    Friends, though, no questions asked. The only confirmed male INFP I ever met, whilist being a fascination for me, was not love interest material. I really wanted to pick apart his brain though, and he felt the same way about me. Who knows what would have happened if we weren't both leaving the country. I still think it would have spelt disaster, I reckon I need some one to compliment my strengths, not perhaps highlight my weaknesses.
    Plus I need some one to remind me to pay the bills....on time.
    i can see where youre coming from, but this seems to be like if MBTI stereotypes ruled the world. [that being said noone stays the same type their entire lives anyway] when you want to make something work out you would grow together and develop traits that are necessary to get things done and make the relationship work.
    its the basic principle every corporation uses for their employees, everyone is trained to do their specific duties to make said corporation succeed. everyone is trained to take on a role. a department store wouldnt hire 100 janitors and no cashiers. same basic thought process goes on in a persons mind when developing a relationship [ie one would think.. my wife will wash dishes and i will put them back on shelf, as opposed to were both going to wash dishes and noone is going to put them back] everyone working there is still recognizable as a 'self' but they learn to work cooperativly towards a common goal.
    my etsy Morphochroma

    I know you think I'm crazy,
    but most people they can't tell.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    LOL, No offense to you all, but I sense at least for me, that INFP + INFP is a place I shouldn't go.
    Friends, though, no questions asked. The only confirmed male INFP I ever met, whilist being a fascination for me, was not love interest material. I really wanted to pick apart his brain though, and he felt the same way about me. Who knows what would have happened if we weren't both leaving the country. I still think it would have spelt disaster, I reckon I need some one to compliment my strengths, not perhaps highlight my weaknesses.
    Plus I need some one to remind me to pay the bills....on time.
    SO what .. INFPs don't pay their bills on time? seems a rather silly stereotype to me..

  8. #48
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Paying bills on time ... easy! Put them on auto-pay or direct debit; remembering not required.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    ― Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Paying bills on time ... easy! Put them on auto-pay or direct debit; remembering not required.
    Yeah...attention to sensory details is the least of my concerns; I am attracted to T women far more consistently than S women because I need a cooler/calmer head to counterbalance my omnipresent emotional soup...

    It must be nice to be steady, it must be nice to be firm
    it must be nice never to move off the mark
    It must be nice to be dependable and never let anyone down
    it must be great to be all the things you're not
    It must be great to be all the things that I'm not...

    It must be nice to be normal it must be nice to be cold
    it must be nice not to have to go oh up or down
    But me I'm all emotional no matter how I try...

    --Lou Reed, INFP--

  10. #50
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    SO what .. INFPs don't pay their bills on time? seems a rather silly stereotype to me..
    I've heard that one a LOT, including lots of times in books on MBTI

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