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Thread: INFP + INFP

  1. #21
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueSprout View Post
    On the other hand, that lack of conflict has little bearing on the values and interests that I would also like to share with a SO.
    Right...and being the same type is no guarantee for lack of conflict anyway.

    I do think a friend of mine is INFP now....I thought maybe eNFP before. We get along well, but she seems more an e9 and I'm an e4. That makes her laugh at my moody side and I admire her tranquility. I'm sure if we hung out more my defiant/difficult side would annoy her and her people-pleasing passiveness would annoy me. I can't imagine that kind of dynamic creating romance with a male INFP....


    Quote Originally Posted by ObliviousExistence View Post
    INFP + INFP = ESTJ
    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    In my limited experience with INFP/INFP relations (my best friend/roommate who was with another INFP for 3+ years), it seemed to work out alright. Both were very into creative expression, so they bonded over that. But both just ended up being huge doormats for each other, and it seemed to approach the point of emotional dishonesty. Each would avoid saying something to hurt the other, and their relationship ended up being just one big clump of lies veiled by hugs and smiles. The happiness of each was just so dependent on the happiness of the other, and by the time they realized that both were unhappy, things started to kind of implode (I guess that's an Fi thing?). It's like they got along on an Ne level, but on an Fi level, things were kind of fucked. That's not guaranteed to happen though; both were pretty emotionally unstable. I didn't have 100% insight into their relationship either (obviously), but that's the impression I got from the stories I've heard from each angle.

    I wouldn't rule out relationships based on type anyway. That's just silly, and hopefully the OP knows that.

    But with INFP/INFP love, so long as you have an exorbitant amount of Kleenex (lotion-infused is optimal), a couple of buckets handy, and zero razor blades in sight, you should be fine.
    I see ObliviousExistence's summation being more accurate for myself. I'm not a doormat, not that huggy/warm, very independent, and not afraid to speak my mind. I am however, pretty passive about initiating. I think that's exactly what would cause conflict in an INFP-INFP relationship. It would either never come to any level of true intimacy because neither would take the dive first, or anytime a value conflict would arise it would be WWIII; the ESTJ boxing gloves would come out. If it did work out, the "us against the world" mentality could easily develop.

    However, I think it could work with the right INFP. I don't want to suggest that it's impossible or not worth trying.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #22
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    INFP's are often coined as 'idealistic' i think each persons ideals would have to be extremely similar for it to work... thats just my idea.
    my etsy Morphochroma

    I know you think I'm crazy,
    but most people they can't tell.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    If it did work out, the "us against the world" mentality could easily develop.

    However, I think it could work with the right INFP. I don't want to suggest that it's impossible or not worth trying.
    I don't see the problem with this.

  4. #24
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I've heard good things about it and I know an INFP male who absolutely swears he wants an INFP female although he's never been in a relationship with one.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Right...and being the same type is no guarantee for lack of conflict anyway.

    I do think a friend of mine is INFP now....I thought maybe eNFP before. We get along well, but she seems more an e9 and I'm an e4. That makes her laugh at my moody side and I admire her tranquility. I'm sure if we hung out more my defiant/difficult side would annoy her and her people-pleasing passiveness would annoy me. I can't imagine that kind of dynamic creating romance with a male INFP....


    I see ObliviousExistence's summation being more accurate for myself. I'm not a doormat, not that huggy/warm, very independent, and not afraid to speak my mind. I am however, pretty passive about initiating. I think that's exactly what would cause conflict in an INFP-INFP relationship. It would either never come to any level of true intimacy because neither would take the dive first, or anytime a value conflict would arise it would be WWIII; the ESTJ boxing gloves would come out. If it did work out, the "us against the world" mentality could easily develop.

    However, I think it could work with the right INFP. I don't want to suggest that it's impossible or not worth trying.
    I'm not a doormat either, but I'm easygoing up to the point one of my values is violated. I can see how I could appear to be a doormat because I like to make people feel good and I'm accomodating, up to a point. I'm also very independent. One of the things I see with my INFP or INFJ male friend is that we both want to make the other feel good and love creating or building on the harmony with one another. When that harmony is disrupted, it feels like my arm or leg has been cut off because of the deeply felt knowledge of the ease of vulnerability and openness we have with one another. The hurt feelings in such a moment could make both people freeze and unable to communicate well. But at the best of times, which has been most of the time, our similar natures and ideals creates a lot of good will and positive energy, which others we work with pick up on, I think. It spreads out, which is a good thing.

  6. #26
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    I don't see the problem with this.
    I could see it happening with almost any NF-NF relationship, and it seems nice in theory, but there's also an over-dependency that could develop, lack of growth because each assures the other they are fine and the world is the problem, elitist attitudes that could form, etc.

    Ideally, two NFs would encourage and support the other to grow towards their potential best self, but it could backfire and just end up with the two over-coddling each other. That seems most likely when you have two of the exact same type. Although, I realize individuals have enough differences that two INFPs could still mesh well without rubbing each other the wrong way or sinking into a complacency.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #27
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I realize individuals have enough differences that two INFPs could still mesh well without rubbing each other the wrong way or sinking into a complacency.
    you had me at [quote=OrangeAppled]

    I think we were meant to be

  8. #28
    Junior Member Ambrosia's Avatar
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    Being a, for the most part, gay INFP male, I would be more open to another male INFP. Should I ever be in a relationship with a female, however, I don't think I would want her to be a feeler. In the converse, I almost think I would be best off with a man who doesn't have preferences for thinking, but admittedly am infatuated with the idea of an "NT" man... I would be highly ambivalent in approaching a relationship with another INFP, I would need some solid convincing first.

    However, I think it's also important to state that when I'm referring to the MBTI and dating, I'm not doing so explicitily. I wouldn't really use type as a serious criteria for dating someone. I take the stance that type should only be brought into a relationship to better communication, not as a method of choosing a compatible partner... /enddisclaimer

    EDIT: As an addendum of sorts, I think that being a male typically "softens" the F preference enough that I could be with a male feeler.

  9. #29
    Senior Member ObliviousExistence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    Lol maybe.
    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I see ObliviousExistence's summation being more accurate for myself. I'm not a doormat, not that huggy/warm, very independent, and not afraid to speak my mind. I am however, pretty passive about initiating. I think that's exactly what would cause conflict in an INFP-INFP relationship. It would either never come to any level of true intimacy because neither would take the dive first, or anytime a value conflict would arise it would be WWIII; the ESTJ boxing gloves would come out. If it did work out, the "us against the world" mentality could easily develop.

    However, I think it could work with the right INFP. I don't want to suggest that it's impossible or not worth trying.

    well, actually...that statement was not meant to make any sense, but if it works for you then let me not stop you

    ISFJ + ISFJ = 3ISFJ

  10. #30
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ObliviousExistence View Post
    well, actually...that statement was not meant to make any sense, but if it works for you then let me not stop you

    ISFJ + ISFJ = 3ISFJ
    hehehe....I can find meaning in anything
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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