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Thread: INFP + INFP

  1. #11
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I can't see two INFPs together in general. Unless there is something to pull one out of each other (damn...that sentence didn't even make sense, lol). I've dated a few INFPs. One INFP I dated had no interest even friendship wise in another INFP we know. She said the other INFPs art was "strange" and did not seem to care for it. Actually, my INFP roommate/friend and the last INFP I dated butted heads and did not like one another.

    And I think especially if you are an INFP (perhaps introvert in general?) who feels you have issues with awkwardness and being too introverted, you are not going to want to attach yourself (or have the persistence) to try to date another awkward very introverted person.

    If you have no such issues, I think the field would be more open for you to date another INFP and other introverts in general. Not saying that all introverts or INFP are awkward, just speaking to how a person's own hang ups or concerns really affects their attraction and willingness to engage with others.

    I know two INFPs (they both tested as INFP on online tests, not sure if results were accurate though) who are fabulous friends but they are also both highly artistic and share a lot of interests. One is also clearly more outspoken and temperamental than the other.

    I've also heard eccentric people call other people "weird" in a negative way. Since INFPs are a type that's highly likely to be considered "eccentric"...

    From my personal INFP pool it seems INFPs are attracted to those that are more extroverted/socially skilled then them and/or those they find more intelligent.

    This is somewhat similar with INTPs - I don't think INTPs are necessarily drawn to other INTPs for dating or friendship. At all. Types that are more likely to be drawn to each other for friendship or dating include ENFPs to other ENFPs.
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  2. #12
    Senior Member ObliviousExistence's Avatar
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    INFP + INFP = ESTJ

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I can't see two INFPs together in general. Unless there is something to pull one out of each other (damn...that sentence didn't even make sense, lol). I've dated a few INFPs. One INFP I dated had no interest even friendship wise in another INFP we know. She said the other INFPs art was "strange" and did not seem to care for it. Actually, my INFP roommate/friend and the last INFP I dated butted heads and did not like one another.

    And I think especially if you are an INFP (perhaps introvert in general?) who feels you have issues with awkwardness and being too introverted, you are not going to want to attach yourself (or have the persistence) to try to date another awkward very introverted person.

    If you have no such issues, I think the field would be more open for you to date another INFP and other introverts in general. Not saying that all introverts or INFP are awkward, just speaking to how a person's own hang ups or concerns really affects their attraction and willingness to engage with others.

    I know two INFPs (they both tested as INFP on online tests, not sure if results were accurate though) who are fabulous friends but they are also both highly artistic and share a lot of interests. One is also clearly more outspoken and temperamental than the other.

    I've also heard eccentric people call other people "weird" in a negative way. Since INFPs are a type that's highly likely to be considered "eccentric"...

    From my personal INFP pool it seems INFPs are attracted to those that are more extroverted/socially skilled then them and/or those they find more intelligent.

    This is somewhat similar with INTPs - I don't think INTPs are necessarily drawn to other INTPs for dating or friendship. At all. Types that are more likely to be drawn to each other for friendship or dating include ENFPs to other ENFPs.
    It does depend on the type of INFP you encounter. My friend and me are on the same frequency, and there was instant chemistry between us, as if we had no barriers at all. I think the stop light analogy is a valid one--for all of the obvious attraction and wonderful conversations we've had, neither one of us (for a while anyway) made a definitive move. Mmm, I'm thinking now that we both may be the same type.

    I fell in love with another INFP many years ago and there was instant attraction there as well. We became very good friends and remain so today. Both of these men I met in work situations, which helps to bring you together. Otherwise, the INFPs I've known have been in a creative graduate program and they were too introverted to be approached easily. As am I. As much as I liked some of the men I met there, the ones I got to know a little were the ones who were forced to interact in a group situation.

    So, I agree with the bolded above regarding an INFP and INFP working well together.

  4. #14
    morose bourgeoisie
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    It could work. I've never met anyone and wondered what type they are. Really. It has ZERO to do with attraction.
    I was almost in a relationship with an INFP, but I pulled away because of the constant talk of fairies and pixies, and this wierd 'guru' she has who turned my stomach. I just couldn't support her delusions. So my reluctance to get involved had more to do with the fallout of her history (massive father issues) rather than her character, or anything as abstract as type. she is a very carring person uder all the mania.
    But if two people are open, flexible and share some interests, I see no reason why it couldn't work.

  5. #15
    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiley45 View Post
    Is it common for INFP's to be attracted to other INFP's romantically? I have never, ever in my life been attracted to another INFP in terms of any sort of relationship, though I am very attracted to INFP's as friends, since we connect very well.

    I think two INFP's together would, more often than not, be a disaster, and I can't see how any two INFP's could be interested in each other romantically if they are so much alike. (Unless, maybe one or both was not a strong INFP and more balanced toward the middle.)

    Thoughts? Have you ever known two INFP's to be attracted in more than a 'good friends' capacity?

    In my limited experience with INFP/INFP relations (my best friend/roommate who was with another INFP for 3+ years), it seemed to work out alright. Both were very into creative expression, so they bonded over that. But both just ended up being huge doormats for each other, and it seemed to approach the point of emotional dishonesty. Each would avoid saying something to hurt the other, and their relationship ended up being just one big clump of lies veiled by hugs and smiles. The happiness of each was just so dependent on the happiness of the other, and by the time they realized that both were unhappy, things started to kind of implode (I guess that's an Fi thing?). It's like they got along on an Ne level, but on an Fi level, things were kind of fucked. That's not guaranteed to happen though; both were pretty emotionally unstable. I didn't have 100% insight into their relationship either (obviously), but that's the impression I got from the stories I've heard from each angle.

    I wouldn't rule out relationships based on type anyway. That's just silly, and hopefully the OP knows that.

    But with INFP/INFP love, so long as you have an exorbitant amount of Kleenex (lotion-infused is optimal), a couple of buckets handy, and zero razor blades in sight, you should be fine.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    I wouldn't rule out relationships based on type anyway. That's just silly, and hopefully the OP knows that.
    (I do know that, of course. It just seems to me like attraction usually occurs when someone else is at least slightly different from you, so it's hard for me to imagine two INFP's even being attracted unless they weren't extremely INFP.)
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  7. #17
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    There are a number of other things that have to align right for two INFPs to get together and manage to stay together without it being complete hell. With so many varied values, just that alone can turn into a big contention point as both sides see themselves as right. Also, the less mature they are the smaller the percent tolerance will be when it comes to those differences. I know there are many things that I prefer and do that would make some of the other INFPs on this board explode.
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  8. #18
    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiley45 View Post
    (I do know that, of course. It just seems to me like attraction usually occurs when someone else is at least slightly different from you, so it's hard for me to imagine two INFP's even being attracted unless they weren't extremely INFP.)
    Two people of the same type != two people who are not different from each other. Same type relations can work out quite well, so long as each has different interests to bring to the table and each has different strengths/weaknesses, and that's of course true of any relations, regardless of type. Still seems to me like you're using type as a filter for relationships or a way of categorizing which relations will work out well, and again, that's just silly.

  9. #19
    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ObliviousExistence View Post
    INFP + INFP = ESTJ
    Lol maybe.

  10. #20
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    I don't know a lot of INFP's in real life, and the handful I do know are too similar to me to ever work in a hypothetical relationship, so maybe I'm only drawing from my RL experience, which is admittedly narrow...
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