[ENFP] ENFP+INTJ=Disasterous Combo o' love

[prplchknz]

I like mature INTJs, but than again I'm not ENFP, so nevermind.

 

[LadyJaye]

I've always found my relationships with INTJ's to be very rewarding and sympathetic. I make sure to give them their space when they need it, and they instinctively get physical when they know I need to be held or comforted. I don't find the dynamic forced or stressful at all.

 

[Amargith]

I'm one of the advocates against this partnership. Satine is busy trying to convince me otherwise and failing. For information on why I find this an unnatural pairing feel free to contact me.

A lot of the points in this thread do address many of the positives and negatives from the pairing in good detail.

That's your opinion. This battle aint over yet

 

[stringstheory]

I've always found my relationships with INTJ's to be very rewarding and sympathetic. I make sure to give them their space when they need it, and they instinctively get physical when they know I need to be held or comforted. I don't find the dynamic forced or stressful at all.

Same here; i've found that as long as you give them their space then things generally work out OK. Granted we've only been together for a little under 2 years, but the one that my INTJ and i went through a rather serious rough spot was like: Fi implosion + Ni need for space = me getting really clingy. No bueno. but once he got the space he needed (and in retrospect, I needed it too) he was able to do his thing, and once that process was complete we were able to start. figuring it out together, I guess. Overall i agree, it's been a very rewarding and sympathetic relationship...a lot less strained or forced than the one I had with an ISTJ.

i can't say i really identify with the description in the OP. I see coldness and insensitivity with people he doesn't like and got a small taste of it when we were going through a rough time, sure, but otherwise this isn't my experience at all. Sometimes in the beginning he'd say stuff I would consider insensitive, I guess, but all I had to do was speak up and say "hey, not cool". He didn't even realize it was something that might hurt my feelings and considering what they were I wouldn't really expect him to either. and the best part? once he realized the pattern of what kinds of things I'm really sensitive it NEVER happened again

 

[Laurie]

Seriously. Every "combo o' love" is disasterous and/or amazing.

I can't believe this thread is still going. Is it just a bunch of ENFP/INTJ flirting and people starting arguments that have nothing to do with it? Thought so.

 

[TheHollyLlama]

ENFP+INTJ

I am an ENFP whose relationship history is filled with less than satisfactory experiences.
The worst experience that I have ever had was with an INFJ. Second to worst? ENFJ. Disastrous? INTP.

I am currently involved with an INTJ and we seem to fit together like two puzzle pieces. He tries to keep my feet on the ground and I try to talk him into letting me color on his face with markers.

The problems that we run into are trivial. He is ambitious and goal oriented (Whereas I am not) . His life is ruled by order and systems. I forget to take a shower and eat.
In this case, the ENFP/INTJ pair up is working rather well. Everyone is difference, I 'spose.

 

[Litvyak]

His life is ruled by order and systems. I forget to take a shower and eat.

Please don't do that, I can't think of a bigger turn off than an ill-groomed partner, and I'd venture a guess most INTJs share this opinion. Clean and chaotic is sexy, smelly and chaotic is not. This is one of the many reasons why I preferred extraverted sensors rather than ENFPs as of late.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Please don't do that, I can't think of a bigger turn off than an ill-groomed partner, and I'd venture a guess most INTJs share this opinion. Clean and chaotic is sexy, smelly and chaotic is not. This is one of the many reasons why I preferred extraverted sensors rather than ENFPs as of late.

So very true, surely it is not so difficult to simply shower once a day and after exercise?

 

[Thalassa]

I'm very well-groomed and I'm an ENFP. I am many things, but smelly I am not. I shower regularly, shave my legs, I even sometimes get facials, pedicures, and my eyebrows waxed. I have an acrylic French manicure at the moment.

Maybe that's why I thought I was an ISFP.

 

[Thalassa]

Also, who the fuck FORGETS TO EAT?

You people wonder why I questioned my association with you.

 

[Moiety]

Seriously. Every "combo o' love" is disasterous and/or amazing.

I can't believe this thread is still going. Is it just a bunch of ENFP/INTJ flirting and people starting arguments that have nothing to do with it? Thought so.

I sometimes lose fate in my fellow ENFPs....but every now and then Elaur will come with her kitchen knife and set things straight.

 

[MacGuffin]

Also, who the fuck FORGETS TO EAT?

Intuitives, you Sensor!

 

[cascadeco]

Seriously. Every "combo o' love" is disasterous and/or amazing.

I can't believe this thread is still going. Is it just a bunch of ENFP/INTJ flirting and people starting arguments that have nothing to do with it? Thought so.

Truth. There are going to be amazing aspects and not-amazing aspects of all combos; what is amazing out of one combo will be lacking in other combos, but what is not-so-amazing in that combo will be present in others. To say that ENFP and INTJ is the ultimate of relationships for both types is ridiculous; it might be the BEST combo for certain ENFP's combined with certain INTJ's, but not all INTJ's and ENFP's desire the same dynamic out of a relationship/partner.

It's like the supposed ENTP and INFJ combo; sure, it is really awesome on certain levels but really bad/problematic on others, but it could work very well if both people love and respect the other and value the relationship. Is it what *I* really want or has it ever worked for me? No. And if you ask Halla, ESTP and INFJ is totally Amazing - and while I don't doubt his particular relationship, ESTP is definitely not going to be the cup of tea of many other INFJ's. In the end all of this amounts to two peoples' mutual needs/desires intersecting - and whatever combo creates that is the 'win'.

 

[ilovelurking]

Truth. There are going to be amazing aspects and not-amazing aspects of all combos; what is amazing out of one combo will be lacking in other combos, but what is not-so-amazing in that combo will be present in others. To say that ENFP and INTJ is the ultimate of relationships for both types is ridiculous; it might be the BEST combo for certain ENFP's combined with certain INTJ's, but not all INTJ's and ENFP's desire the same dynamic out of a relationship/partner.

It's like the supposed ENTP and INFJ combo; sure, it is really awesome on certain levels but really bad/problematic on others, but it could work very well if both people love and respect the other and value the relationship. Is it what *I* really want or has it ever worked for me? No. And if you ask Halla, ESTP and INFJ is totally Amazing - and while I don't doubt his particular relationship, ESTP is definitely not going to be the cup of tea of many other INFJ's. In the end all of this amounts to two peoples' mutual needs/desires intersecting - and whatever combo creates that is the 'win'.

Well said!

 

[Thalassa]

Truth. There are going to be amazing aspects and not-amazing aspects of all combos; what is amazing out of one combo will be lacking in other combos, but what is not-so-amazing in that combo will be present in others. To say that ENFP and INTJ is the ultimate of relationships for both types is ridiculous; it might be the BEST combo for certain ENFP's combined with certain INTJ's, but not all INTJ's and ENFP's desire the same dynamic out of a relationship/partner.

It's like the supposed ENTP and INFJ combo; sure, it is really awesome on certain levels but really bad/problematic on others, but it could work very well if both people love and respect the other and value the relationship. Is it what *I* really want or has it ever worked for me? No. And if you ask Halla, ESTP and INFJ is totally Amazing - and while I don't doubt his particular relationship, ESTP is definitely not going to be the cup of tea of many other INFJ's. In the end all of this amounts to two peoples' mutual needs/desires intersecting - and whatever combo creates that is the 'win'.

Also, not all ENFPs and INTJs are created equally. For example, some ENFPs forget to shower or come home at night, while others are clean and loyal ...and some INTJs might be really cool, and others might be boring hypocritical jerks with sticks up their butts.

 

[Lady_X]

haha...my god i doubt she's actually smelly...you do know enfps exagerate for fun right?

oh...and i should add...i often forget to eat....and drink...i get dehydrated..like super sick style because of it...and i have low blood sugar and occasionaly feel like i'm about to pass out and realize it's because it's 4pm and all i've had was a couple cups of coffee....so yeah it's ridiculous as hell...but i relate.

 

[Coriolis]

I just don't bother to eat, if I'm in the middle of a project and getting alot done. I just begrudge the time/interruption. I feel hungry briefly, then it passes.

 

[skylights]

you do know enfps exagerate for fun right?

this single statement accounts for so many misunderstandings in my life.

 

[Thalassa]

I do forget things...like my DVD was in the house DVD player downstairs for WEEKS before I was like, "oh hey wait I should try to find that before it gets lost or someone else takes it." Fortunately it was still there.

Or I'll forget my laundry is in the washing machine, or ignore people who are in front of my face while I'm reading or on-line.

This doesn't apply to my self care, though, or anything to do with my health. It may be an enneagram thing - I'm pretty sure I'm E6 and while I'm not sp first, I am sp second. I was talking to some people about this in vent the other day and we were discussing that people who are sp stacking last may be more neglectful of their self-care.

 

[stormyapril]

I am an ENFP whose relationship history is filled with less than satisfactory experiences.
The worst experience that I have ever had was with an INFJ. Second to worst? ENFJ. Disastrous? INTP.

I am currently involved with an INTJ and we seem to fit together like two puzzle pieces. He tries to keep my feet on the ground and I try to talk him into letting me color on his face with markers.

The problems that we run into are trivial. He is ambitious and goal oriented (Whereas I am not) . His life is ruled by order and systems. I forget to take a shower and eat.
In this case, the ENFP/INTJ pair up is working rather well. Everyone is difference, I 'spose.

I give the marker attempts two thumbs up. Superb. Pictures prove it though.

I also forget to eat and admittantly have forgotten to shower. It takes a great deal of effort to follow through on things, so I prioritize really important long term goals over little daily stuff. This always seemed to be the diff between me and my esfp sis. On the surface, in the moment, she appears more organized than me, with details checked off, but in the long run her life is a train wreck. I may appear unorganized in the moment, but in the long run, have a very solid lifetime plan.