User Tag List

First 47879596979899107 Last

Results 961 to 970 of 1370

  1. #961
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    No, it's more a state of mind with the Ni just being itself. With most people, I have to either focus on the person or ignore them, as Kra describes in a slightly different way.

    It's the reason with have trouble with intimacy. Our "intimate" is very focused and intimate, and not a relaxed state of mind. If we're "being ourselves" with you, that means having you there, being there for you, but it also means we're in our heads, both worlds existing at once, side-by-side. To listen to you carefully, or to be very intimate with you, means putting aside our inner world, and that inner world is represented by "Ni", our primary function. We're willing to do it, but it expends energy on our part, the same way being expressive of our emotions requires energy from us.

    So, if an INTJ isn't focused on you, it feels less intimate, but it also means we're just being ourselves, recharging our batteries, and so on. It also means there's kind of a hot-and-cold thing going on, that feels awkward if you don't understand it. Our emotions aren't going hot and cold. If I love someone, it is with all of my heart (cf. hands-holding-sun pic I posted elsewhere on this forum to represent Fi). It doesn't go away just because I am quiet. It just isn't being projected outward.

    I've a close female friend whom I'm fairly sure is INTJ. Her bf of 7 years left her, because he didn't feel like she loved him. My ex-wife left me largely because she felt I didn't love her. It's a real problem for INTJs.
    This is probably your Se that is draining you. I can hit this without extending any energy whatsoever and be in both at once. For me to reach this though I need to understand you to an extent or that Ne-Ni divide is to large and I get left behind with nothing to add or say. If you dont mind this soundboard then I will be perfectly comfortable and I wont dive into Ni, but just chime in at parts of Ne that I understand. I then churn away with Ti-Ni when I am quiet and Fi just kinda comes and goes depending on where my TiNi leads me. Its like dissecting our interactions and the flow that was happening. Which can lead to other emotions surfacing after the fact.

    This soundboard is still intimacy and I enjoy it as long as I dont have to dive into Ni to much. As I learn someone then it becomes more back and forth without leaving this intimacy state.

    Its probably confusing because my Fi for a person is not gone, its just not always conscious. Only certain emotions are conscious at a time. If you are in a state where we are acting like friends, thats where my emotions move to, when things become intimate, my emotions follow. I tend to follow people emotionally, but those emotions actually have to exist within myself. If you hit intimate without it existing in me then I feel awkward and is somewhere that still needs to be built up.
    Im out, its been fun

  2. #962
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    ahhhh, I love the madmins!!!

  3. #963
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    hello other enfps-

    Do you find yourself feeling an emotive response-something like love/bliss/joy when you look at things like the attached picture? Like an emotional Fi response but directed externally to things that are not people or value based, just beautifully complex and serene?
    Attached Images Attached Images

  4. #964
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Its probably confusing because my Fi for a person is not gone, its just not always conscious. Only certain emotions are conscious at a time. If you are in a state where we are acting like friends, thats where my emotions move to, when things become intimate, my emotions follow. I tend to follow people emotionally, but those emotions actually have to exist within myself. If you hit intimate without it existing in me then I feel awkward and is somewhere that still needs to be built up.
    you know poki, I think that the last part -about "hitting intimate" is where a lot of enfp-entp problems come from. ENFPs just jump straight to Fi typically. We dont have that middle ground of Fe to allow for moderation in emotional interaction. Fi is kinda all or none maybe?

    I have had a few ENTPs say they may have brief moments of Fi, but only for those they are exceptionally close to and then it is really disabling. Yet assuming enfps can induce Fi in others, and often do it so naturally, we just end up right in the middle of their emo shit, inducing weird emo vibes, and it screws with their heads. ENFPs are like aliens eating the brains of ENTPs with cute little rainbow colored teeth of love.

    I saw this with my ISTP as well when I cheated with Fe. Suddenly I understood what sort of emo and nurturing he had always needed, but I never could have given him. Unlike you, he responds to Fi a bit more like the ENTPs all of the time-it repulses him.

  5. #965
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    you know poki, I think that the last part -about "hitting intimate" is where a lot of enfp-entp problems come from. ENFPs just jump straight to Fi typically. We dont have that middle ground of Fe to allow for moderation in emotional interaction. Fi is kinda all or none maybe?

    I have had a few ENTPs say they may have brief moments of Fi, but only for those they are exceptionally close to and then it is really disabling. Yet assuming enfps can induce Fi in others, and often do it so naturally, we just end up right in the middle of their emo shit, inducing weird emo vibes, and it screws with their heads. ENFPs are like aliens eating the brains of ENTPs with cute little rainbow colored teeth of love.

    I saw this with my ISTP as well when I cheated with Fe. Suddenly I understood what sort of emo and nurturing he had always needed, but I never could have given him. Unlike you, he responds to Fi a bit more like the ENTPs all of the time-it repulses him.
    It strange you say this. It has actually crossed my mind alot that if I would actually let things in my life not roll off and if I wasnt so laid back that I would have alot easier time with Fe. But I have always been able to figure out how to let things roll off of me instead of holding onto alot of emo crap. If I had emo crap to deal with it would make Fe feel needed. The hard part though is that in a lot of relationships, work, friends, bosses, etc. her Fe does support the emo crap, but these people pour the crap onto her making her face feelings of guilt instead of allowing her to support the crap. Her dad has alot of emo crap from life that he rediates and vents TO her instead of AT her. This is the healthy form of emo crap that Fe can deal with. She has said to me how people just need to vent and just need to be listened to and talked with and nurtured. I can handle and enjoy the venting and listening, I am not so good with the nurturing though. My Fe is better with people who just need to vent to get things off their chest and then move on.

    I think we need to add an extra letter to MBTI to split the people like your ISTP ex and myself into seperate categories. Those who can handle emo and those who cant. I think some ENTPs can handle emo, we just dont recognize them because they arent recognized as they dont have as much problems.

    To me lack of ability to handle emo crap and those that need the nurture is a weak or immature Fi that needs to be babied.
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #966
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,708

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    I saw this with my ISTP as well when I cheated with Fe. Suddenly I understood what sort of emo and nurturing he had always needed, but I never could have given him. Unlike you, he responds to Fi a bit more like the ENTPs all of the time-it repulses him.
    I'd be very interested to learn your impression of Fe vs Fi. What is the difference in "style," if you will?

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I think we need to add an extra letter to MBTI to split the people like your ISTP ex and myself into seperate categories. Those who can handle emo and those who cant. I think some ENTPs can handle emo, we just dont recognize them because they arent recognized as they dont have as much problems.

    To me lack of ability to handle emo crap and those that need the nurture is a weak or immature Fi that needs to be babied.
    I don't think it's quite a personality trait in the MBTI sense. There is a "Neuroticism" component in Global 5 / SLOAN which is basically "MBTI with one extra letter". I don't believe this describes an "ability to handle emo crap" so much as "how much emo crap you generate for yourself" property.

    With respect to "an ability to handle emo crap," I believe that is simple maturity. Not Fe. Not Fi.

  7. #967
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    hello other enfps-

    Do you find yourself feeling an emotive response-something like love/bliss/joy when you look at things like the attached picture? Like an emotional Fi response but directed externally to things that are not people or value based, just beautifully complex and serene?
    That is Beauty, in one of its infinite manifestations.




    It evokes almost an opposite feeling than this...



    ^But, is that not beautiful?
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  8. #968
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    To me lack of ability to handle emo crap and those that need the nurture is a weak or immature Fi that needs to be babied.
    No poki, that's the funny part-he is also very good at letting emo roll off, but once he hit 30, Fe became very prominent-but only to people he really cares about. To me his Fe sounds very whiny, a bit guilt trip like and I revert to Te to force him to be responsible. This goes poorly. From an Fe view though, it isnt whiny at all-it is him trying to communicate a need indirectly and I think another Fe user would find it sweet and feel a desire to nurture him. It's just miscommunication. But yeah, he doesnt get Fi at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    That is Beauty, in one of its infinite manifestations.




    It evokes almost an opposite feeling than this...



    ^But, is that not beautiful?
    no, not beautiful at all. What's up with that pic SS? It actually creates a very strong sense of repulsive dissonance within me. Odd as I usually like very complex patterns and Ne-swimming my way through them. I think the red shirt pattern plus the recognition they are people-it evokes strong stress-avoidance responses in me on a visceral level.

  9. #969
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,708

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    No poki, that's the funny part-he is also very good at letting emo roll off, but once he hit 30, Fe became very prominent-but only to people he really cares about. To me his Fe sounds very whiny, a bit guilt trip like and I revert to Te to force him to be responsible. This goes poorly. From an Fe view though, it isnt whiny at all-it is him trying to communicate a need indirectly and I think another Fe user would find it sweet and feel a desire to nurture him. It's just miscommunication. But yeah, he doesnt get Fi at all.
    So would you say that Fe, at least as you perceive it to be expressed by your ex, is passive and indirect about expressing one's own feelings? That one with an Fi perspective would be more willing to say "I want X," while the Fe perspective might say, "What do you think about X?" all the while hoping that directing the conversation toward X will result in getting X?

  10. #970
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    nnnn
    Posts
    1,633

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    "You are the most relaxed intense person I know."
    I got calm ocean with volcano under the surface from an ESTP. He said it was frightening (because he couldn't read me).

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] ENFP/INTJ Relationship
    By freeeekyyy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 07-10-2014, 10:36 AM
  2. [ENFP] A question for ENFPs and for people who love them.
    By hazelsees in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 03-04-2013, 08:44 AM
  3. [ENFP] ENFP/INTJ=Perceptive Train wreck o' love?
    By stormyapril in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 10-21-2010, 05:11 AM
  4. [MBTItm] enfp intj marriage
    By saffron in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 02-04-2008, 03:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO