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  1. #951
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Fascinating and insightful stuff here, thank you.

    I already commented on his lack of eye-contact, what I call his eye-contact issues, and I mentioned how it seems slightly autistic, too!!!

    What is it with you INTJs and eye-contact, so weird!!!

    I get this as well. If I look people in the eye, they say I'm too intimidating, if I don't, they say I'm too shy. It's a lose-lose for me I guess.
    Function Activity:
    Ni > Te > Ti = Fi > Ne > Si = Fe > Se

  2. #952
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    U-is there a sense of cadence here-the sing song?
    No, it's more a state of mind with the Ni just being itself. With most people, I have to either focus on the person or ignore them, as Kra describes in a slightly different way.

    It's the reason with have trouble with intimacy. Our "intimate" is very focused and intimate, and not a relaxed state of mind. If we're "being ourselves" with you, that means having you there, being there for you, but it also means we're in our heads, both worlds existing at once, side-by-side. To listen to you carefully, or to be very intimate with you, means putting aside our inner world, and that inner world is represented by "Ni", our primary function. We're willing to do it, but it expends energy on our part, the same way being expressive of our emotions requires energy from us.

    So, if an INTJ isn't focused on you, it feels less intimate, but it also means we're just being ourselves, recharging our batteries, and so on. It also means there's kind of a hot-and-cold thing going on, that feels awkward if you don't understand it. Our emotions aren't going hot and cold. If I love someone, it is with all of my heart (cf. hands-holding-sun pic I posted elsewhere on this forum to represent Fi). It doesn't go away just because I am quiet. It just isn't being projected outward.

    I've a close female friend whom I'm fairly sure is INTJ. Her bf of 7 years left her, because he didn't feel like she loved him. My ex-wife left me largely because she felt I didn't love her. It's a real problem for INTJs.

  3. #953
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    See, I don't ever get intimidated by eye-contact, ever.

    I know INTJs are intense, as are we ENFPs.

    Bring on the intensity, I say!!!

    We'll love you more for it.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #954
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    I got speed on my side, Ni slows him down. In our exchange, I probably average more hits than misses, but, the hits that he does get in, it's more substantial in content.
    This is a great comparison you've made of Ne to Ni in general, I think, whether the secondary functions are Fi/Fe or Ti/Te.

  5. #955
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    I've heard it put in a very succinct oxymoronic way:

    "You are the most relaxed intense person I know."

  6. #956
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    I've heard it put in a very succinct oxymoronic way:

    "You are the most relaxed intense person I know."
    ^ That's how I envision my soulmate to be, true story.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #957
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    I really have to wonder the effect I had on my colleagues a few years back, when my Mom died (far too young).

    They were all walking on eggshells around me.

    As a very close friend of mine put it, "<Uumlau>, this is the only time I have ever seen you fazed by anything, whatsoever."

    I think I was more intense than relaxed at the time.

  8. #958
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    My father died of pancreatic cancer five years ago, and I know what you mean.

    The two final years of his life were a devastating time, I think it was when I hit my nadir of being most emotionally unstable.

    These things are understandable to those who are close to us, but probably quite an anomaly to those who aren't.

    Makes perfect sense.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #959
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Ugh, there is NOTHING WORSE, than someone who REFUSES to ACCEPT ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS!!!
    Fucking hell yeah. (Do you recognize this is Tert Te at work? It sets the standards for ourselves and for others-using Fi definitions of course)

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Being an asshole can be funny (as long as its funny). I actually prefer someone with a dark sense of humor. If you can't play around that way, then you're right to stay away from someone like that, because they'll just hurt your feelings and you'll irritate them by not getting their jokes, and possibly even hurt their feelings by striking back too harshly.
    My favorite person to be horrifically dark and obnoxious to is an INFJ guy I know with a typical texas cowboy personality. I shock him horrifically. He doesnt understand how I can say the things I do. For some reason I am the worst with him. I just cant help it. The look of shock, yet puzzled amusement. He actually gives me the best dirt on INFJ guy mentality, or Fe guys in general. Not nearly as cute and fluffy as they appear.

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    edit: oh were you wondering about the ENFP-INTJ thing? I got hung up on the NFP-ENTP thing.
    You forgot the blood and gore on page 67 or when OMT lost an eye on page 72.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    I didn't feel like I should ask her out; I felt like I should knock her down a peg or two.
    Greed, you so confuse me with your name change. I dont know what she was up to-maybe some fun Ti style competition, but I totally get what you were feeling. That is Te. Te to me feels like a bunch of young colts let out in a field on an early spring day when the grass is all green but it's just a bit frosty. They will run like hell, kick each other, playfully bite and assertively push each other around to re-establish the group dynamics. There is a sense of testing each other, finding those group dynamic boundaries still intact, then dropping the aggression to become a happy, comfy team. Ti seems to never quite drop the ongoing sense of one-upmanship. Maybe Fe doesnt ever really establish one specific leader, but rather an ongoing shifting group hegemony.

    This diff freaks my ENTP out honestly. Once a strong Te leader has been identified, some rough punches been thrown to settle the org structure, then all the Te users tend to quickly buy in and follow the Te leaders vision with a sense of teamwork and loyalty. TiFe does no such thing-there is a game to play I guess, and the game doesnt ever end?? I dunno...

    I recently had an ISTJ at work get transferred into another internal position. We suddenly were at conflict. He spent a few days trying to give me a strong Te stare which I had a hard time meeting directly at first as I was baffled as to why he would so this. I had only been nice to him. He was trying to establish dominance. This made me angry.

    In four days I turned his entire group against him-via just letting them know about his actions, stopped helping them with any issues, informed my coworker of his actions, she stopped helping him, then showed him how useless his group was without our support. I also wrote him an email emphasizing how excellent I thought he could be in his new position but directly addressing an area where he had showed a decided lack of integrity in discussing employee issues.

    Then I told everyone who awesome a leader he would be, sat in a meeting and supported him by directly challenging his predeccesor on how the group had been trained and managed, and today he gets acknowledged by a VP at our corporate meeting for his group's efforts.

    He has started asking my opinion on his new hires. Welcome to how ENFPs deal with overt Te domination. "The dance of the butterflies"

  10. #960
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffle View Post
    I know that the INTJ is the suggested "natural partner" for the ENFP, but I can't stand EVERY INTJ I have ever met.
    How do you know these people are INTJ?

    Do you administer a MBTI test to everyone you meet?

    I doubt it.

    Do you have assumptions about you not liking INTJs?

    Probably.

    Do you think you can accurately type people as INTJ for one reason or another?

    Seems like it.

    Could you possibly be compelled to not like someone that you type INTJ due to the negative stereotypes that have built up in you over time, before even giving them a chance as a person?

    Yeah, you can. Would you like someone else to do that to you?
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

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