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  1. #771
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Yeah, but there's too damn much agreement with them, and where's the fun in that? </house>
    Well go dry hump each other, so the ENFPs and INTJs can make up safe words.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #772
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    one moretime stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My god man. Marmelade stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    you guys go kill each other on your walls please???!!!??? I actually love you guys and Q a lot.

    you are all kinda cute. I wonder what your babies would look like?

    I really love simulated world. I often think how we could cuddle together under the stars.and he'd hold my hand, and we could hug, and then buy me flowers and he could look deeply into my big googly Fi eyes. Ah, sweet bliss. SW can I love you FOREVER??????????????

    hey OMT and marmelade, you guys go make babies. I get SW. I think Q has an INFJ alreday. woo-hoo type C punnitt squares.

  3. #773
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    one moretime stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My god man. Marmelade stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    you guys go kill each other on your walls please???!!!??? I actually love you guys and Q a lot.

    you are all kinda cute. I wonder what your babies would look like?

    I really love simulated world. I often think how we could cuddle together under the stars.and he'd hold my hand, and we could hug, and then buy me flowers and he could look deeply into my big googly Fi eyes. Ah, sweet bliss. SW can I love you FOREVER??????????????

    hey OMT and marmelade, you guys go make babies. I get SW. I think Q has an INFJ alreday. woo-hoo type C punnitt squares.

    No, thank you, Happy Puppy. I'm holding out for an INTJ.

  4. #774
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    awwwwwwwwwwwww
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  5. #775
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    I think Q has an INFJ alreday.
    I initially thought him to be - INXJ, then, mistyped him, when I didn't know enough about personality theory, and I saw his "F" to be over-represented, making him INFJ, when in fact, it was tertiary Fi. And, he's INTJ, with a mature hold on Fi. Like a few of the INTJs here.

    And, now he's my ex.

    Another reason for one of my initial interest in this thread, what with ENFP being pretty close to me and all, and having had a LTR with an INTJ.

  6. #776
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Remember that we rely partly on members to let us know when things go down the tubes. I don't read every thread on the forum and I don't think any of the other madmins do either. I haven't set foot in here until just now.

    Having said that, I am so not in a position to thoughtfully attend to the issues in here at the moment, there being almost 800 posts and all. So please let this serve as a general warning. More specific treatment to follow.
    Hey, I know I'm not really that intimidating and all, but usually people at least pretend to listen to me when I go all schoolmarm.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #777
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    No. Seriously. You're the one projecting. You're accusing ENFPs - and me as an individual - of all sorts of bizarre things when you don't know anything about us as people IRL. You're imagining stuff and transferring it on to us. At this point, it's just gotten laughable. I think you've really got some problems.
    Game. Set. Match. :footballreferee:

  8. #778
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    What Happy Puppy said, and also, this post of mine (since I brought in this term, Fi manipulation, which later, another xNFP agreed with) outlines exactly what I was speaking of:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...2-post538.html



    I can see this to be the case, but, that specific example with my ex-roomie and her crying, nah, I'm 100% sure she did it for show. She had even previously joked about her "skills" to be able to cry at the drop of a hat, to get "Daddy to do this, that," to get her bf to do this, that. That was just that particular girl's M.O.

    I wouldn't miscontrue all crying, unless it's appropriate by my standards to the situation, to be fake. I'm Ne-dom, I'm pretty good at looking at things from other perspectives. This, coupled with TiFe, also makes me have a pretty all right bullshit (creator/)detector too.



    Does this mean I would feel sympathy for an Fe-user crying faster than I would for an Fi-user crying?
    Let me clarify a couple of things.

    "Fe user" and "Fi user" are misnomers. If you're "strong F", you use both, though you'll tend to lean on one more than the other. If you're expressing an emotion that's arising from inside of you, that's Fi, whether or not you're an "Fi user". Even xxTJs and xxTPs cry.

    Now, if someone is doing as you suggest, and is crying to get their way, that's Fe, by definition. (It's an immature/evil use of Fe, I'm not saying Fe is bad.) My original point was to identify a pattern by which miscommunication could occur. Part of that pattern is that the crying could be genuine, yet misconstrued. It is also possible that the "Fi user" is being a manipulative jerk, and no misconstruing is going on.

    With respect to feeling sympathy, I don't think you'd feel sympathy faster for an Fe user or an Fi user ... you would evaluate the person's motives, whether they're Fe, Fi, Te or Ti. If in your judgment you think they're being manipulative, you're not going to feel much sympathy. If you think the tears are genuine, your sympathy will be prompt.

  9. #779
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Let me clarify a couple of things.

    "Fe user" and "Fi user" are misnomers. If you're "strong F", you use both, though you'll tend to lean on one more than the other. If you're expressing an emotion that's arising from inside of you, that's Fi, whether or not you're an "Fi user". Even xxTJs and xxTPs cry.
    Ah, gotcha.

    Now, if someone is doing as you suggest, and is crying to get their way, that's Fe, by definition. (It's an immature/evil use of Fe, I'm not saying Fe is bad.)
    Why is this? Are you saying that when someone cries to get their way, it is always due to the immature use of Fe? (I'm guessing you're hinting at social manipulation?)

    With respect to feeling sympathy, I don't think you'd feel sympathy faster for an Fe user or an Fi user ... you would evaluate the person's motives, whether they're Fe, Fi, Te or Ti. If in your judgment you think they're being manipulative, you're not going to feel much sympathy. If you think the tears are genuine, your sympathy will be prompt.
    Yes. Agreed.

    Thanks for the clarification.

  10. #780
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Why is this? Are you saying that when someone cries to get their way, it is always due to the immature use of Fe? (I'm guessing you're hinting at social manipulation?)
    Yes, I am. Note the common story of the child who falls and hurts himself outside. Bravely and quietly gets up, walks inside, and the moment he sees Mommy, starts crying.

    In this case, he probably doesn't realize he's being manipulative, but it's the rudimentary beginning of understanding communication. Crying "doesn't work" if Mommy isn't there.

    It's only when one knows better that it becomes evil and manipulative.

    That said, I -am- INTJ, and I don't personally understand Fe that well. I'm going by definitions, that crying to manipulate others is necessarily extroverted feeling, even if an INTJ does it.

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