I sense a flicker of understanding in the back of my head...
I lay subtle little traps way before anything has even gotten romantic,
just to test little stuff like compassion, mental acuity, knowledge, understanding, thought process...
I mean. I don't put my subjects into a maze or anything.
I just talk to them. See if they help me without me asking.
It's more about intense observation and asking the right questions.
It's not some well-defined mental list, there are just things that have to be there and things that shouldn't be there.
If the "subject" shows a nasty lack of something I need... Well. Over and done.
The latest stage things can really go wrong is when things have indeed come to some form of primitive romance.
The sex can be incredibly wrong, and it has to be right.
I'm sad to say that while 90% of the cases are enjoyable, only around 10% is "right" with a big R.
I've overlooked the sex part too many times in favor for other qualities, but it drives the whole project into a wall at some point.
Of course my questions as well as what I seek in an individual differs from other INTJs, from ever so slightly to worlds apart.
Maybe the methods are alike in some respects, though.
Is this what you were talking about?
Or were you talking about us being testing as in hard to love?
I can totally see both points