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  1. #61
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    You people are so negative.
    Cleavage.




    Oh. That doesn't make any sense sat next to my avatar.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffle View Post
    ...
    I bet there is one of you out there that's fantastic, but damn, I've just had a bad streak. ):
    OK move over to Africa, Ct is beautiful :-)

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kambro View Post
    OK move over to Africa, Ct is beautiful :-)
    dibs

  4. #64
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    There are some nice INTJs out there. My INTJ friend Lauren, for example, sent me Omaha Steaks for Christmas. Who wouldn't like a woman who expresses her affection by means of a shipment of frozen cow chunks?

    Admittedly, I am not an ENFP. Maybe the dynamic is easier between introverts.

  5. #65
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i feel threatened by enps, but growing up i did imagine that i would end up with an efp. the first entp girl i did meet shook me hard in less than 48 hrs. i could see the change from my pockets jingling on the pavement.

    once i learned typology, i felt my disposition change to intuitive first, and probably dominant intuitive for ease and depth of communication. but i think i'm sort of evening out on this as well and recognizing a wider range of possibilities with each type.

    i'm not sure if i hate it (and i do hate most of keirsey), but i think the mindmate, soulmate, and whatever else are pretty good designations (+ bodymate, and lifemate?). i always liked when the love languages write-ups were kicking around. there are obviously a lot of ways relationships can work, and be beneficial, promote growth, etc. timing is important, context, cultural history, psychological health, trials, etc. the whole jackpot mentality is frustrating and ultimately self-destructive.

    i've also learned that ltr or not, s.o. type relationship or not, i fucking need enps in my life very very badly. i think juggling all factors, sx/sp/so, your values, your articulation of those values aesthetically, your vision of the world, your projects commitments investments and inspirations, your needs and desires and wildest fantasies, your sense of self and sense of purpose/place, your sense of where you've come from and where you want to go, your friends and family and your (current) lover and the love of your life and your spiritual ties and your forms of knowledge, all of this is an immensely complex problem that we're all trying to solve. it's an impossible riddle. it's what is ultimately at stake for us in our lives, but what may only be a side-effect text-book margin on the page of what context human life takes on in a more cosmic, the universe + the earth kind of way. each experiment called life reaches and strives for something somewhat undefined and difficult to describe, but perhaps the intelligence of the whole makes more sense, achieves more success, etc. a successful and elegant solution, when combined with others, adds up.

    i don't know how to balance the fucking monstrosity of my life, that keeps teetering and tottering and threatening total fucking ecological collapse. worry worry. but i know enps are a huge part of that solution. i'm sure they always will be. i don't personally see how an inj could think otherwise. they help me see a better future when i am trapped in a bleak/black, violent, destructive past. it's pure inspiration.

  6. #66
    Senior Member evilrobot's Avatar
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    All Im gonna say is that ENFPs take a long time for any type to recover from. And INTJs, more than most, are simply not wired to handle them.
    X___________________________________

    If things are not what they seem, and we are forever reminded that this is the casethen it must also be observed that enough of us ignore this truth to keep the world from collapsing. Thomas Ligotti, The Mystics of Muelenberg

  7. #67
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evilrobot View Post
    All Im gonna say is that ENFPs take a long time for any type to recover from. And INTJs, more than most, are simply not wired to handle them.
    this is the scary part.

    what's weird is that i feel like i identify with both parties. i can easily imagine myself floundering as a spurned intj. totally fucking imploding from the inside. yet i am as fickle and unpredictable as an enfp. i do not know what i want or will want, or if my so-called wants are grounded in anything viable/sensible/feasible. i do not know what is best for me, tho i know what is best for others. therefore, i am crazy.

    enps can be destructive night-terrors, and when entranced and when their desires are unbalanced i think they would destroy me. and how could a relationship not have these moments? and how would these moments not destroy me? and shouldn't these moments be free to occur, to test the limits, boundaries, truth of the situation? i don't know, but it would destroy me (so i say to myself).

    on the other hand, enps are the most capable of empathizing with me as i really am. as a perfect blend of what i really am and what i really could be, ought to be, might be, etc.

    i see laddered rings of the tree, spiraled where they fall. the tree keeps trying, growing, climb up, climb up. the distance is really a matter of perspective, and if there's still more to go.

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    yet i am as fickle and unpredictable as an enfp. i do not know what i want or will want, or if my so-called wants are grounded in anything viable/sensible/feasible...

    enps can be destructive night-terrors, and when entranced and when their desires are unbalanced i think they would destroy me.
    .
    I don't think all ENFPs don't know what they want. We may have a more flexible attitude toward life plans, and can sometimes get lazy and sidetracked and ADD, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't know what we want.

    Though you do say that ENPs can get "entranced" and "when their desires are unbalanced i think they would destroy me."

    So what I'm getting here is that ENPs seem dangerous whether we're flexible or fixed?

    I understand that young ENPs can be incredibly fickle, but I don't think that's true for all areas of life, especially as we grow up a little bit. I know from one previous experience that I have the ability to become extremely fixed and loyal within a relationship. I'm sure that's true of other ENPs as well.

    I think all people can be terrible, no matter their type. There's a lot of fear in this thread from both sides. I think sometimes people are just frightened by intimate relationships in general.

  9. #69
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    INTJ-ENFP rules (at least, if yo uconsider me an ENFP)

    They're endeared and indulging of my crazy quirks as long as I involve them in it, take them on that journey, and I am in utter awe of their competence and intelligence. Though I have met INTJs where there was no instant click, I find it in general to be almost naturally there.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #70
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I don't think all ENFPs don't know what they want. We may have a more flexible attitude toward life plans, and can sometimes get lazy and sidetracked and ADD, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't know what we want.

    Though you do say that ENPs can get "entranced" and "when their desires are unbalanced i think they would destroy me."

    So what I'm getting here is that ENPs seem dangerous whether we're flexible or fixed?

    I understand that young ENPs can be incredibly fickle, but I don't think that's true for all areas of life, especially as we grow up a little bit. I know from one previous experience that I have the ability to become extremely fixed and loyal within a relationship. I'm sure that's true of other ENPs as well.

    I think all people can be terrible, no matter their type. There's a lot of fear in this thread from both sides. I think sometimes people are just frightened by intimate relationships in general.
    i think some of it is just the outward appearance of the relationship. enps move on easier, entps especially. tho enfps may struggle very much on the inside, they don't seem to get that awful trapped chernobyl feeling as much as injs. we tend to think (however inaccurately) that it's much easier for us to see the worst, and stay with the worst, and live the worst, and become the worst. and personally, i feel like i have trouble with everything on the outside collapsing when my interior is seriously shaken. and my instinct is not to get help OR to power thru it, it's just to withdraw and retreat. i feel even less in control of the world around me, my immediate surroundings, etc, and am more pessimistic about them bc of this. we see too much all-at-once saying no (the filtration is too singularly focused), rather than taking it in one yes at a time.

    enps seem dangerous to injs bc their cost analysis is so different than ours. we recognize the problems and focus on the costs of the past. they see the potential in the future. they see potential everywhere, but are generally less sensitive to the costs of all those infinite potentials bc they are not dwelling in them or spending nearly as much time trapped there, in the wreckage of the past, when their own interior space is terrorizing them and forcing them to retreat from the world that they cannot find solace in.

    also it's a misread to say that i am saying that this perception of enps equates to "terrible enps." it's the insecurities, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities of many injs that are at stake. ESPECIALLY the 5w4s. they're often counterphobic and paranoid. my impression is that e5 loves e7 bc it is freeing, but it is dangerously free when see as the hysterics that are a deep unconscious stream running thru our own self-image, our own projections, lurking in the shadows of e5.

    but again, it's just a different form of cost analysis that sounds scary. and we can easily feel in a disadvantaged position.

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