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  1. #401
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I feel nekkid.

    :/
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #402
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    That's really all there is to it. We meet people, maybe make a good connection, maybe not. Maybe the connection endures, maybe not.

    The best bet for an INTJ is to keep on trying and practicing. If she was initially fascinated, but now isn't, that's her problem, not yours. Your only concern is whether there's still a connection. If so, keep on dating and exploring. If not, stop, and find someone else.

    There's a lot of advice on how to make things work out with someone, but it would behoove INTJs to remember that such advice is aimed at people who are already to some degree committed to each other. When the relationship is just starting, there's really no advice other than "get to know the other person better."
    Disagree.

    There's an entire industry devoted to giving the latter type of advice (as well as the former).

    I think almost everyone who writes about relationships on this forum could benefit from discovering it.

  3. #403
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    All new people and things, eh, not all, but most, due to novelty, are exciting.

    However, the more complex and intriguing a person is, I assure you, the more you'll reel us ENFPs in.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #404
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Appreciate the support uumlau, but I am definitely not trusting.

    In my book, someone is not trustworthy until proven otherwise.

    I think most INTJs would agree with this...
    Reread my post. There's some intentional irony in there, of the "trust, but verify" variety. My main point is that I want to be able to trust, and it sucks that most people will just break it.

    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Le Sigh....
    Ms. Sapienne, I think you have very little to worry about.

    I find it telling that you now admit that it wasn't a "joke." It says a lot about you. (Good things, even though I was willing to take you at your word and assume that you intended it to be a joke.) If you can realize that you shouldn't hide behind your "craziness" in order to get away with rude (if not abusive) behavior, then you have a good chance of not messing up again, and keeping that which you treasure.

  5. #405
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    He's been nothing but compassionate, open, trust-worthy, and trusting towards me, and I slapped him across the face, no, the heart, the soul, because I fucking have a whole bag load of issues that are not his fault, or problem, really.
    Actually, they are my problem. But I'm willing to work through them.

    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    And, I apologize how I mischaracterized Z.

    He had every right to be mad/disappointed/angry/let down by me.

    I acted like a c*nt.

    And, I'm sorry.
    It's ok. I love you.

  6. #406
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Wait, wait!!!

    I have met and "dated" infinitely intriguing and complex men, but they just weren't my cup of tea.

    So, if she doesn't find you right for her, that's just her personal preference/stance/feeling not by any means an affront to your character.

    Hahaha, unless you're a creepy asshole.

    Which, by the way, you don't seem like, at all.

    In fact, from the very few posts you've written I can feel your kindness.

    Maybe you are too introverted for her, or conversely she's too extroverted for you?!!??

    Just a thought.

    :P
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #407
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Disagree.

    There's an entire industry devoted to giving the latter type of advice (as well as the former).

    I think almost everyone who writes about relationships on this forum could benefit from discovering it.
    W/r to the latter type of advice, most of it is useless to INTJs, and the pieces of it that do be summed up as, "Get off your duff and go meet people. Lots of people. Socialize. You'll eventually meet someone you really like." Most INTJs, I've noticed, really don't like this advice, but there's really no way around it.

  8. #408
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Actually, they are my problem. But I'm willing to work through them.
    :blushing:

    Sometimes, I don't think I'm worthy of your love and understanding <--- please take brief note of this and then erase it from your memory for it is incredibly embarrassing.

    I think it's funny that since I've met you, I've ceased reading romance novels. :O


    It's ok. I love you.
    Harumph, I wish I were with you, right now.

    To be cloaked in the comfort of your arms....

    :blushing:

    I love you.

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Ms. Sapienne, I think you have very little to worry about.

    I find it telling that you now admit that it wasn't a "joke." It says a lot about you. (Good things, even though I was willing to take you at your word and assume that you intended it to be a joke.) If you can realize that you shouldn't hide behind your "craziness" in order to get away with rude (if not abusive) behavior, then you have a good chance of not messing up again, and keeping that which you treasure.
    You kinda remind me of someone I know and love.

    You're all kinds of awesome!!!

    Thank you.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #409
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    W/r to the latter type of advice, most of it is useless to INTJs, and the pieces of it that do be summed up as, "Get off your duff and go meet people. Lots of people. Socialize. You'll eventually meet someone you really like." Most INTJs, I've noticed, really don't like this advice, but there's really no way around it.
    I agree, to an extent. A lot of the advice is simply this.

    But there's also good advice, like:

    - learning to truly understand and be completely honest with yourself about who you are, what you want, and your inner and deepest motivations
    - learning to truly understand and accept human nature, both male and female, masculine and feminine (particularly via evolutionary psychology)
    - learning your life's deepest purpose and how to always remain sourced in that purpose

    And these are just a few off the top of my head.

    EDIT: Just reread your post, uumlau, and realized you weren't describing "that type" of advice as a negative. Indeed it is not. Just perhaps not as useful to INTJs if not also packaged with the other lessons I described above, since our kind tend to feel just fine staying within their cave.

  10. #410
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post

    You kinda remind me of someone I know and love.

    You're all kinds of awesome!!!

    Thank you.

    I think he almost doesn't even sound like an INTJ (but that would be misguided, cuz it's prolly just a sign that he's a mature, well-balanced one).

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