User Tag List

First 12341252102 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 1370

  1. #11
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,155

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post

    ^ Hmmm. Insightful.

    Substantially different priorities at work, but insightful.



    And ps, just by the bye:

    Just the same, every so often, [ENFPs will go on a] self-righteous, self-improvement mission of some kind (e.g. anti-media diets, so he can't come to our superbowl party that he'd already committed to, or a meaningless regiment to start getting up at 8 in the morning, when he's got a part time job that start at 12:30 in the afternoon, so he can't hang out past 9pm, stuff like that) and blows off all of his friends and family, attempting to try out a new technique for operating in life. Our friends typically respect him enough to let him do it without saying much, but the issue is, whenever he ventures forth on such a mission, all of his prior committments go out the window, and according to the mission he's on, certain people who, by being around them, would counteract his attempts at this new discipline, will cut them out for the duration, until the "lifestyle fad" has played out, and he's tired of committing himself to meaningless disciplines.

    Yeah--I was gonna say, I kinda relate to that, in a way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post

    The difference being an ENFP'll be really, really sorry they forgot about what you'd planned.
    True story.
    __________________


    I'M OUTTA HERE.

    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  2. #12
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Hmmm. I'm fascinated by INTJs both IRL and on-line. Never had a relationship with one, but I don't see why it would be disasterous.

  3. #13
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,155

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Hmmm. I'm fascinated by INTJs both IRL and on-line. Never had a relationship with one, but I don't see why it would be disasterous.
    I think it could be great.
    __________________


    I'M OUTTA HERE.

    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  4. #14
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    My experiences in a relationship with an INTJ made me want to stab myself. I'm just gonna quote my experience from yesterday's post:

    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    Not to say anything about the type as a whole, but.. over time, she became insanely critical and demanding, and I was getting more and more insecure. When I called her on her tendencies, she'd turn it back on me. It was as if she could dish it out, but she couldn't take it.

    I actually came to resent her over time, even though, strangely enough, I was still there for her. I wanted out, but couldn't bring myself to end it. When we finally did end it, I was stupid and immature and, primarily out of a lack of self-esteem, wanted her back. In response, she'd completely shut me out of conversations, send me blunt and hurtful emails, and not acknowledge me, all of which hurt me even more.
    You'll probably find a few hundred posts of mine about that particular relationship if you look hard enough

    That said, this was one experience. I was, as I said, stupid and immature; likely, so was she. But she was also older than me and had been through a few relationships, where I had not, so she probably didn't have much more growing to do.

    I dunno.. I could try a different INTJ again, knowing what I know now, but I'd probably rather go for the INTP variety. Seems like a better fit for me overall; I need that spontaneity in a partner, so long as she's matured with some judging tendencies. In any case, Thinker women are a dime a dozen around here..

    I don't think I've ever met a (definite) INFJ, so I can't comment on those.

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    669

    Default

    The ENFP's I know in RL come across as way too flaky to impress the INTJ's I know in RL, and the INTJ's I know in RL come across as too rude and unconcerned toward others to attract any ENFP's.

    Even though the male ENFP's seem to be less kooky and the female INTJ's seem to be a little more ... nice ... (only in my personal experience so far, mind you), I still don't see it working with anybody I know.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  6. #16
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    My experiences in a relationship with an INTJ made me want to stab myself. I'm just gonna quote my experience from yesterday's post:



    You'll probably find a few hundred posts of mine about that particular relationship if you look hard enough

    That said, this was one experience. I was, as I said, stupid and immature; likely, so was she. But she was also older than me and had been through a few relationships, where I had not, so she probably didn't have much more growing to do.

    I dunno.. I could try a different INTJ again, knowing what I know now, but I'd probably rather go for the INTP variety. Seems like a better fit for me overall; I need that spontaneity in a partner, so long as she's matured with some judging tendencies. In any case, Thinker women are a dime a dozen around here..

    I don't think I've ever met a (definite) INFJ, so I can't comment on those.
    I think this kind of thing has nothing to do with type. Lots of people - no matter type - when they are hurt will put up a defense mechanism of shutting people out or being mean first so you can't get to them. If you were as immature as you say you were, she could just have been frustrated with that and taking on the "parent" role in the relationship. I am an ENFP and I have been forced into my TJ shadow by a very immature boyfriend before, and I hated being the person "in control" but I felt like someone had to be. I don't like that feeling. I actually would rather the other person be slightly more in control, which is probably why *the idea* of INTJs fascinates me.

    I don't know the details of your relationship, but I don't necessarily see this dynamic as being type based.

  7. #17
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I think this kind of thing has nothing to do with type. Lots of people - no matter type - when they are hurt will put up a defense mechanism of shutting people out or being mean first so you can't get to them. If you were as immature as you say you were, she could just have been frustrated with that and taking on the "parent" role in the relationship.
    ...
    I don't know the details of your relationship, but I don't necessarily see this dynamic as being type based.
    Whoops, this is what I get for being lazy and just quoting a previous post of mine. I should've provided something better for this context.

    I'll say that, from my point of view, I found her to be critical of pretty much everyone and everything.. not just me. She failed to conceive that a person who she disagrees with might well be right until they proved themselves 100% to her; I didn't like that mindset. That whole "judging first" thing was very apparent, and I don't know if I could deal with that if it weren't tempered. Hell, she outright said a few times that I was the best boyfriend she'd ever had, and she was still critical of me. It didn't make sense to me at all. My experience may or may not be typical, but it corroborates the OP.

    That's not discounting anything you've said here regarding our particular dynamic and aspects of it that might not be type-based, but I figured that I should expand the context a bit.

  8. #18
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    Whoops, this is what I get for being lazy and just quoting a previous post of mine. I should've provided something better for this context.

    I'll say that, from my point of view, I found her to be critical of pretty much everyone and everything.. not just me. She failed to conceive that a person who she disagrees with might well be right until they proved themselves 100% to her; I didn't like that mindset. That whole "judging first" thing was very apparent, and I don't know if I could deal with that if it weren't tempered. Hell, she outright said a few times that I was the best boyfriend she'd ever had, and she was still critical of me. It didn't make sense to me at all. My experience may or may not be typical, but it corroborates the OP.

    That's not discounting anything you've said here regarding our particular dynamic and aspects of it that might not be type-based, but I figured that I should expand the context a bit.
    My ex is one of the nastiest, meanest, most critical and provocative people I've ever met and I think he's an SP (I have an extraordinarily hard time typing him) ...I would call him an NTJ because of his critical, domineering yet imaginative seemingly-in-touch-with-Ni side, but he never got anything done EVAR...complete lack of motivation in the real world which leans more toward immature P.

    Despite all of this, when I got mad at him for something he did (or didn't do) he referred to me as a "cold, hyperanalytical Nazi" ...who couldn't just "let him be" which is fucking laughable considering the fact that he thought he was artistically superior to everyone, thought his taste in film and music trumped everyones, was always pulling an Alpha male card amongst his friends, and prided himself on being in control (downright abusive at times), though he never accomplished anything tangible and often let other people down in big, really inexcusable ways. (I would feel really bad if I did not add here that we really clicked in a lot of ways mentally and emotionally, and he could be so sweet and loving and romantic when he wanted to be. I basically had to break up with him to save myself.)

    I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that dysfunctional relationships are dysfunctional, regardless of type, and often our perceptions of each other are just that...perceptions based upon personal feelings and context.

    Therefore, I'm going to get on the bandwagon who says maybe type isn't indicative of who you can or cannot have a good relationship with. So many other factors.

  9. #19
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    254

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    I'll say that, from my point of view, I found her to be critical of pretty much everyone and everything.. not just me. She failed to conceive that a person who she disagrees with might well be right until they proved themselves 100% to her; I didn't like that mindset. That whole "judging first" thing was very apparent, and I don't know if I could deal with that if it weren't tempered. Hell, she outright said a few times that I was the best boyfriend she'd ever had, and she was still critical of me. It didn't make sense to me at all. My experience may or may not be typical, but it corroborates the OP.
    I'm weak on the J and over time I have grown to be less critical of others and am much more positive. It's something I consciously worked on for a long time. I think it comes with maturity and self-awareness. Had to flush that negativity OUT!

    Never been in an "official" relationship with an ENFP, but I am drawn to them like moths to a flame, and them to me it seems . Looking back, I think all of my major crushes have been on ENFP guys. However, I'd say the ENFP male probably takes WAAAAY longer to mature than the INTJ female. Younger ENFP's are way too fickle and in my experience, disloyal and emotionally manipulative. So I guess I'll have mine when I'm an old hag.

    I could definitely see the potential if INTJ learned how to be supportive of ENFP's endeavors and not critical of them and if ENFP was fully committed and less sensitive to sarcasm/criticism.

    I think I see this pairing quite often. It's such a cute dynamic.

  10. #20
    Member Waffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    76

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    ^ Hmmm. Insightful.

    Substantially different priorities at work, but insightful.



    And ps, just by the bye:

    Just the same, every so often, [ENFPs will go on a] self-righteous, self-improvement mission of some kind (e.g. anti-media diets, so he can't come to our superbowl party that he'd already committed to, or a meaningless regiment to start getting up at 8 in the morning, when he's got a part time job that start at 12:30 in the afternoon, so he can't hang out past 9pm, stuff like that) and blows off all of his friends and family, attempting to try out a new technique for operating in life. Our friends typically respect him enough to let him do it without saying much, but the issue is, whenever he ventures forth on such a mission, all of his prior committments go out the window, and according to the mission he's on, certain people who, by being around them, would counteract his attempts at this new discipline, will cut them out for the duration, until the "lifestyle fad" has played out, and he's tired of committing himself to meaningless disciplines.


    The difference being an ENFP'll be really, really sorry they forgot about what you'd planned.
    Funny. I've never had that problem. I always follow through on set plans, and if two clash, I always make time for my friends (Especially if it's personal plans, then everyone else comes first).
    I can't stand being a flake or flakes. It's an annoying attribute.
    I will be honest and say I'm often late, but I always call ahead to warn that I might/will be.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] ENFP/INTJ Relationship
    By freeeekyyy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 07-10-2014, 10:36 AM
  2. [ENFP] A question for ENFPs and for people who love them.
    By hazelsees in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 03-04-2013, 08:44 AM
  3. [ENFP] ENFP/INTJ=Perceptive Train wreck o' love?
    By stormyapril in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 10-21-2010, 05:11 AM
  4. [MBTItm] enfp intj marriage
    By saffron in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 02-04-2008, 03:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO