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  1. #11
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousFeeling View Post
    Has anyone had an INFJ self-protective moment where it unintentionally hurts someone, particularly someone who's romantically interested in you?
    All the time, well except they're not "romantically interested" in me exactly.

  2. #12
    Member Aphex's Avatar
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    Give it a shot, OP. You only live once, stop wasting your time speculating and being skeptical and just go on the damn date.

  3. #13
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aphex View Post
    Give it a shot, OP. You only live once, stop wasting your time speculating and being skeptical and just go on the damn date.
    Yeah, the way to find out absolute truth is through empirical knowledge, thus I should go out on the date to get to know how the guy is like in person.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




  4. #14
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    I hate it when I get into self-protection mode and end up hurting someone, or confusing them. Sometimes I don't even understand myself. My fear of asking for what I want doesn't make logical sense!
    Sometimes I wish I KNEW what I wanted! You're a step ahead of me there

    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousFeeling View Post
    Yeah, the way to find out absolute truth is through empirical knowledge, thus I should go out on the date to get to know how the guy is like in person.
    I think, if you can, try not to make it sound like a 'date.' There are a lot of inferences that can be made on that, and it's safer to say 'meet up with' or something that doesn't imply that both parties have decided to be in a relationship, because if the empirical data ends up showing you that you'd rather not be in a relationship with him, that first 'date' would be more risky. If it felt more casual, I would think it wouldn't be as hard a break up.

    But then again. Meeting him face to face in the first place might cause stronger romantic inklings no matter what you call it. So, whatever, go for it but try to pass it off as a reconnaissance mission for both of you
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  5. #15
    Member Aphex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousFeeling View Post
    Yeah, the way to find out absolute truth is through empirical knowledge, thus I should go out on the date to get to know how the guy is like in person.
    Was this sarcasm?

  6. #16
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    Sometimes I wish I KNEW what I wanted! You're a step ahead of me there



    I think, if you can, try not to make it sound like a 'date.' There are a lot of inferences that can be made on that, and it's safer to say 'meet up with' or something that doesn't imply that both parties have decided to be in a relationship, because if the empirical data ends up showing you that you'd rather not be in a relationship with him, that first 'date' would be more risky. If it felt more casual, I would think it wouldn't be as hard a break up.

    But then again. Meeting him face to face in the first place might cause stronger romantic inklings no matter what you call it. So, whatever, go for it but try to pass it off as a reconnaissance mission for both of you
    You nailed it. This mindset of a "meetup" rather than "date" will help ease some of my anxieties, I think. I don't like to commit to something unless I've evaluated all the pros and cons first.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aphex View Post
    Was this sarcasm?
    About empiricism, not in the least bit. My Te/Ti kicked in action. I tend to flip-flop a bit between my T/F side. It goes with being immersed in science. I'm both logical and emotional. Just in the end, Fe wins.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




  7. #17
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Would you be open to moving to where he is if the relationship were to become serious?
    If not, are there opportunities for him where you live?

    If so, maybe he could come eat dinner with your family.
    If not, it might be best to break it off and not get into long distance friendships with men with the understanding that a relationship is a possibility.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #18
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Would you be open to moving to where he is if the relationship were to become serious?
    If not, are there opportunities for him where you live?

    If so, maybe he could come eat dinner with your family.
    If not, it might be best to break it off and not get into long distance friendships with men with the understanding that a relationship is a possibility.
    Maybe not nearly as far as he lives now, maybe somewhere between where I am and where he is. Luckily there are a lot of opportunities for him in the vicinity of my hometown.

    I haven't thought about the idea of dinner with my folks. Definitely an idea I'll consider.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




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