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  1. #1
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    Default INTJ needs help with INFP....

    I come here in peace. I mean no harm. I do not want to be taken to your leader, I am here to humbly ask for your input. And there is no mothership...

    To the point:

    I am an INTJ who has met an INFP. I am single but she is not.

    We have amazing conversations and are in agreement about all the important things, i.e. politics, religion, world views, etc. We talk about very personal things. We look forward to talking to each other.

    She is a writer and the main character in her book was giving her some problems. She asked me if she could incorperate some of me and my life into him. She also told me that few people "allow" her to just talk, think on her feet type free flow talking without censoring herself.

    She is currently out of the country, but before she left , she hugged me twice. The first time was after I gave her a small gift that was a token of something we are both into. It was just a short hug, nothing big. The second was after we had been talking for a bit, rather excitedly, and then two family members walked in. We both reacted like teenagers. Guilty looks, stop talking, jump up from sitting positions, the whole nine yards. That is when she hugged me, a bit differently this time. She put her head on my shoulder, for just a brief second. That was the last time I saw her before she left.

    We e-mailed off and on (computer issues on her side) but when she is in an area that allows for computer use, our e-mails have gotten longer and more in depth. She tells me she misses our "long, awesome" conversations.

    What I am trying to get to is this: Is it just me, or is this woman attracted to me as more then a friend? I really do not know.....Am I seeing something that is not there or not seeing the obvious?

    Help?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rezdawg1 View Post
    I come here in peace. I mean no harm. I do not want to be taken to your leader, I am here to humbly ask for your input. And there is no mothership...

    To the point:

    I am an INTJ who has met an INFP. I am single but she is not.

    We have amazing conversations and are in agreement about all the important things, i.e. politics, religion, world views, etc. We talk about very personal things. We look forward to talking to each other.

    She is a writer and the main character in her book was giving her some problems. She asked me if she could incorperate some of me and my life into him. She also told me that few people "allow" her to just talk, think on her feet type free flow talking without censoring herself.

    She is currently out of the country, but before she left , she hugged me twice. The first time was after I gave her a small gift that was a token of something we are both into. It was just a short hug, nothing big. The second was after we had been talking for a bit, rather excitedly, and then two family members walked in. We both reacted like teenagers. Guilty looks, stop talking, jump up from sitting positions, the whole nine yards. That is when she hugged me, a bit differently this time. She put her head on my shoulder, for just a brief second. That was the last time I saw her before she left.

    We e-mailed off and on (computer issues on her side) but when she is in an area that allows for computer use, our e-mails have gotten longer and more in depth. She tells me she misses our "long, awesome" conversations.

    What I am trying to get to is this: Is it just me, or is this woman attracted to me as more then a friend?
    I suspect she is, but ask her. She won't mind.

  3. #3
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    Default

    Yeah. Just ask her.

  4. #4
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fecal McAngry View Post
    I suspect she is, but ask her. She won't mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Yeah. Just ask her.
    Well you're both productive. INTJs do not usually like the risk of asking and being wrong about it.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    Well you're both productive. INTJs do not usually like the risk of asking and being wrong about it.
    Oh so true!

    I would love to ask her, but......I do not want to risk harming a good friendship (between her and I) if that is not the case, nor do I want to interfer in her relationship. So, I am wondering around an emotional nomansland...

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    Well you're both productive. INTJs do not usually like the risk of asking and being wrong about it.
    You've got to take an occasional risk in life, especially when it comes to relationships.




    Quote Originally Posted by Rezdawg1 View Post
    Oh so true!

    I would love to ask her, but......I do not want to risk harming a good friendship (between her and I) if that is not the case, nor do I want to interfer in her relationship. So, I am wondering around an emotional nomansland...
    I understand this. Ultimately it's up to you whether you think it's too much of a risk to your friendship. Only you know how you feel. At the same time, only she knows how she feels. We can't tell you that.

  7. #7
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    Default

    What I'm asking is...is this "normal" to the INFP type, or is there an interest? I know it is all individual, but there are some common behaviors.

  8. #8

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    I wouldn't think an INFP would give those signals without being aware of them or having them mean something, especially since it seems most INFP aren't normally outwardly emotional people.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    INTJs do not usually like the risk of asking and being wrong about it.
    Alcohol has been helping INTJs express their romantic feelings since 17,098 B.C....

  10. #10

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    Aww mate this is really kinda sweet.

    When will she be back in the country? You should ask her out! It will be more fulfilling than trying to take your relationship to the next level via e-mail.

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